English Channel now ‘Mare aux Canard’

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry on the bloodline of the sons of Belial.

In the latest Treaty of Lisbon-sanctioned piece of utter lunacy to be devised and mandated by the EUSSR’s bonkers bureaucracy in Brussels, a propaganda offensive is being launched to force Pax Britannia to accept that the English Channel is not a British border property but one to be jointly owned and divvied up by the entire EUSSR community.

To achieve this end, numpty barking mad Eurocrats have decided, in their virtual reality wisdom, to rename the Channel as the “Anglo-French Pond”.
Under a stupid scheme backed by Gordon Broon and Lord Peter Scandalson – and bankrolled by British taxpayers - jobsworth bureaucrats at Brussels’ Ministry for Wasting Time & Money have been working on breaking down national barriers by creating new regions for their planned European superstate – in an attempt to wreak havoc on any sense of national identity and centuries of evolved social culture.

Under the plan, a vast swathe of southern England has been joined to western Belgium and northern France to become the Arc Manche region of Europe.

Now, since the stupid Irish allowed their fascist Tithe na Parlaiminte to undemocratically force a second EUSSR referendum on them – to keep voting until the result turned out as a majority ‘Yes’ - culminating in the passage of the treacherous Treaty of Lisbon (read EUSSR Constitution) the first maps of the European region are being drawn up – with the divide between the countries at the same time being played down by giving the Channel a new name – and a most undignified status.

According to documents passed on to the Anarchists Gazette by whistle blowers from the Ox-Rat snitch and grassers charity, the UK’s Department for Communities and Local Government is backing the scheme to the hilt as they’ll then qualify for lots of freebie jollies and junkets to their twinned areas of the EUSSR community on the Continent.

The English Channel, that fabulous stretch of sea that separates this once-sceptred isle of green and pleasant lands from Europe’s pikey-infested mainland, was named the Oceanus Britannicus by the geographer Ptolemy in the second century AD.

However, Brussels’ Big Brother fascist jobsworths have milked an excess of £1.1 zillion quid from the British Treasury - all taxpayers’ cash - to erase it from maps that will be sent to schools across the south of England.

Fellattia van der Gamm, Tory Shadow Minister for Rowing Boats, informed the Daily Shitraker “British taxpayers’ money is being used literally to wipe our nation off the map, erase thousands of years of history and downgrade the English Channel to the insulting status of a ‘mare aux canard’ – an effing ‘duckpond’!”

(This undignified status brings to mind a vision of young Mummies and toddlers perched around the south coast beaches throwing cobs of stale bread to scrounging French ducks.)

“Unemployed homeless families and pensioners will be outraged to see Gordon Broon’s department that has been responsible for halving their DSS benefits is now wasting precious cash on this propaganda.”
“Good grief, to think that Sir Francis Drake faced, fought and repelled the Spanish Armada on a duckpond!”
“Really, just you vote for Posh Dave in the May election and a Conservative government will scrap these Euro-Fascist plans and save the English Channel.”

The new Arc Manche Region stretches from Cornwall to Kent and from Nantes to Lille. Its capital is Paris. It has its own government and its own president: French socialist and convicted sheep fiddler, Alain Le Moutton.
Yep, you read it correctly the first time – Paris, home to our historic enemies – the foul and most foreign French - is gonna be the capital of southern England.

The scheme is part of propaganda to promote the Stalinist EUSSR, whose flag will fly at events designed to raise awareness – and probably hatred - of the region.

Most of Scotland has been reworked as the Northern Periphery, joining parts of Greenland, Iceland, Norway and Finland – which Ministers in Westminster all agreed was no big loss to the UK in general – losing the kilted porridge wogs to Brussels.

Southern England’s New Forest is henceforth twinned with Bavaria’s Black Forest and is now part of Germany and will come under Munich for council tax, policing, water rates, and wheelie bin services, etc – precisely what Hitler was after achieving some 70-odd years back.

So, where do you now live in Europe? Do you actually know? Are you really bothered if you’re now a part of Poland – or Bulgaria – or some other pikey-infested Eurozone?

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and mis-spoken references.

Thought for the day: If a bear shits in the Forest of Dean, will people be able to smell it in the Ardennes?