Thursday, 8 September 2011

Yet Another Expenses Cheat MP Nabbed

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Margaret Moron, the former New Labour MP for Scallydale East, who was forced to step down and relinquish her House of Conmans seat at the 2010 General Election, will face 21 charges in relation to fraudulent expense claims, the Director of Public Prosecutions, Keir Ratstamper, informed a press hack from the Sticky Fingers Gazette.

The humiliated Labour MP - who now suffers the well deserved ignominy of pariah status in her community - being spit upon by the taxpaying voters she robbed, and barked at by dogs as she walks down the street - stands accused of feloniously claiming for both a home in her constituency and a family house at Smegmadale-on-Sea - more than 100 miles from Scallydale East - and has been charged with filing fraudulent expenses in excess of £60,000 quid.

The decision to charge the former MP by the Crown Prosecution Service comes more than two years after revelations surrounding illegal claims by a gaggle of scumbag MPs were first exposed to public scrutiny.

The initial police inquiry into Ms Moron’s ‘creative expense claims’ was repeatedly delayed due her suffering from a variety of persistent neurotic ill health complaints – which included being stricken with severe anxiety attacks and bouts of ballistic diarrhoea every time she watched TV or picked up a red top tabloid and saw her Parliamentary colleagues David Chaytor, Elliot Morley, Jim Devine, Eric Illsley and Paul White – aka Lord Scrotefield - being handed down custodial sentences for falsely claiming less than half the amounts she’d personally fiddled with criminal intent aforethought.

Moron claimed in excess of £98,000 in second home expenses between 2004 and 2009 and is scheduled to appear before the City of Westminster Magistrates' Court on 19th September to face 21 separate accusations of allegedly claiming Parliamentary expenses illegally – a total comprised of 6 allegations of forgery, contrary to the Forgery and Counterfeiting Act 1981 - and 15 charges of false accounting contrary to the Theft Act 1968.

These include a forged Veterinarians Hospital medical bill for £5,000 to purportedly pay for her budgerigar’s coronary bypass surgery – and a further questionable invoice from the Sahara Forest Timber Company, billing for half a gallon of creosote and a consultant arborist to provide specialist dry rot treatment for her grand-dad’s wooden leg.

When the expenses scandal first broke, Moron denied any wrongdoing on her part, and yesterday stated for the public record “It’s all political character assassination, cos some bastard’s out ter get me. I ain’t claimed fer any effin’ duck islands or havin’ me moat dredged – an’ them twats got away wiv it. Then yer got that other ginger mingin’ cunt – the untouchable Jacqui Smith wot claimed fer her pillock of a dog-wankin’ husband’s porno DVD movies – an’ still has a bunch of prisoners from HMP Scum round on day release ter paint her effin’ mansion when they should have bin doing community service work.”

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

No comments: