Clegg Nominated for Nobel Prize

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Rumours abound in the corridors and men’s toilets of the House of Conmans that the Lib-Dum Party leader and incumbent Deputy Slime Minister Mick Clogg has been nominated for this year’s ignominious Nobel Prize for Hypocrisy award.

Obviously suffering a convenient bout of Alzheimer’s-related amnesia, Clogg gave a moronic, soundbite-ridden speech on Monday, timed to coincide with the millions of juvenile delinquents - not currently on remand for their part in the August riots - returning for a fresh term at their respective Asbo Central and NED academies to study the intricacies of advanced welfare benefit fraud and the best performing hedge funds to invest with, to launder future drug money earnings.

The content of Clogg’s political message, aimed at reassuring sceptics, centred on the Libservative Coalition government's latest creation thought up by the Ministry for What Can We Fuck With Next – the disingenuously-termed ‘Free Schools’ – a controversial abomination that his own Librarian-Dummercrat Party voted against ever sanctioning less than a year ago.

Monday’s about-face hypocrisy on Mick ‘Janus’ Clogg’s part adds a ‘double damnation’ factor to the universal contempt he is now regarded with by the voting British public, following his broken election campaign manifesto promise not to raise University tuition fees - then promptly agreeing to triple them to £9,000 quid per annum immediately after being elected.
What was Clogg’s campaign battle cry again? “Let me give you my reassurance - I would never tolerate that.” Hmmm, so much for the die-hard ideologue.

Clogg’s pathetic performance since getting his foot inside 10 Downing Street is being studiously evaluated and his mendacious psychology compared to that of a previous rascally occupant, to whom he bears a strong physical resemblance – the ‘Charles Lynton’ character that was caught importuning in a Westminster public lavatory in the autumn of 1983 and summoned before Bow Street Magistrate’s Court to answer for his immoral sin of soliciting gay sex - then slapped with a conditional discharge and bound over to keep the peace - none other than that notorious dog-wanking war criminal: Anthony Charles Lynton Bliar.

So, one might well ask, why now is the Clogg throwing his all behind Free Schools – which are quite the opposite of what the name implies – when the model is intended to be eventually run by private enterprise: for profit.

Such a move flies in the face of all evidence to the contrary, which indicates that the introduction of profit into public education has been detrimental to true performance as opposed to reported performance – whereas the most obvious alternative to farming out education responsibilities to the commercial marketplace is to simply improve the nation’s existing schools at a fraction of the cost.

Hmmm, anyone recall the adage: ‘penny wise – pound foolish’? Or should the Free School gimmick be viewed as a nefarious primary step in facilitating the total commercialisation of education – akin to the British Rail privatisation disaster.
Obviously the true constituencies of both Posh Dave Scameron and Mick Clogg are not their respective Whitney and Sheffield Hallam electoral boroughs, but the Fortune 500 company index.

To add to this recipe for disaster, in his little homily the retarded Clogg – (a man with ambitions that far exceed his intellectual abilities) - provided a stellar insight to his pubescent naivety regarding the social divisive factor of free schools by calling on the said schools to admit, as a minimum requirement, the same proportion of free school meal pupils as the local average - and open up facilities to the local community. Some hopes on that one.

However, in his speech Clogg did admit that free schools should be closely monitored and not permitted to become the preserve of the privileged few - simply creaming off the best of the bunch pupils while leaving the rest of society’s juvenile thickies to fend for themselves – a recipe for disaster creating problems for, and draining the resources of, neighbouring educational establishments.

Thus one is left to ponder on our man Clogg - a notorious bloviator long before he accepted thirty pieces of silver in agreeing to form the Libservative Coalition. Does he still believe in the Lib-Dum’s objective party vision – the established doctrine and policies - or is he now a Tory apparatchik become - Posh Dave Scameron’s subservient toady? Sit! Beg! Roll over! Good dog! Now play dead!

Thoughts for the day: Cloggy comes across as more of a pretty face - a Tony Bliar-style nice guy with a media-friendly façade concealing the sinister hand-picked instrument of betrayal - the type of person who gives criminals a bad name by having career scumbags and felching addicts like old 'Vermin in Ermine' - Lord Peter Scandalson - on his Christmas card list.

Of the 24 free schools opening this month, nine are faith-based or possess strong religious ethos - providing collective daily worship of some illusory and capricious deity who in the Old Testament demands an eye for an eye yet in the New Testament tells us to turn the other cheek. Now this bloke God - alike Cloggy - is most definitely in need of psychological counselling.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.