In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
Liam Pox, the Libservative Coalition’s ‘Jock in a frock’ Defence Secretary and MP for East Dorksbury in Scumerset, was ordered by the Conservative Party’s Rothshite Zionist crime syndicate masters to provide strong backing to the country's arms manufacturers in his speech at the opening of the bi-annual Defence & Security Equipment International exhibition in London’s Docklands yesterday.
The moronic Pox, yet another of the Tory’s borderline psychopaths, announced for the public record at the weapons of mass distraction fair that he’s "proud" the UK is the world's second biggest defence exporter – plus providing government assistance to help the arms firms prosper in the art of maiming and killing non-combatant civilians with not-so-smart bombs, cluster-fuck munitions, Shitehawk missiles and nasty land mines is most definitely in the national interest.
Dr Pox, a former Kilbride sporran strangler - and the type of person who gives knobheads a bad name – spoke to one gutter press hack from the Warmongers Gazette, relating “I mean to say, if we hadn’t taken advantage of the situation in Libya last year and made a ‘killing’– sorry, no pun intended – by supplying Gaddafi with lots of new arms, then his regime would have fallen to these rag-arsed rebels months ago. It’s only British arms that kept him going so long against the might of NATO’s even better weapon systems. What we term second class weapons to Third World despots.”
“It’s the same situation in Bahrain, with Sheik Fizzy al Kaseltzer having the best of our British crowd control riot gear – and plenty of body bags - to keep a handle on all those Bolshie rag-head peasants – cluttering up Pearl Square and demanding such absurdities as democracy.”
“I mean to say, their King’s a nice sort of chap, who plays a decent round of golf and isn’t your typical barbaric sand nigger - yet another vulgarian tyrant with lots of oil dollars. Then you have some aggro-bent radical type with a half-arsed education comes along wanting to overthrow the Monarchy and upset the established order of things – and install a democratic system of government with free elections and all sorts of other political twaddle. Good grief, these people can’t even spell Democracy.”
In his DSEI exhibition speech Pox claimed Britain’s arms companies “play a key role" in promoting foreign policy objectives (neo-colonial military invasions of some hapless Third World nation’s lands to seize their natural resources) - and furthering what he ironically termed "enlightened international engagement" (carpet bombing and torture).
Additionally they not only fill up the Chancellor’s coffers with what banksters refer to as ‘lots and lots of money’, but also remember their political friends at Christmas – and have a few nice cosy post-Parliament retirement sinecure directorships to go round.
Colonel Harry ‘Pitbull’ McGnasher, CEO of Scumline International, the UK’s leading PMC (private military contractor), led a round of raucous applause for Dr Pox as he stepped away from the podium, telling press hacks “That’s the type of Defence Secretary we need, not some effin’ wimp, always apologising for the odd peasant village burned to the ground by mistake or a bus-load of snotty sprogs getting snuffed.”
Scumline have been pronounced Public Enemy No 1 on the Amnesty and Ox-Rat human rights and wrongs charity’s shit lists for supplying a full range of ex-Special Forces mercenary thugs and torturers to prop up Third World despotic regimes and suppress socio-political dissent and calls for liberal reforms.
Conversely, in April, a committee of MPs criticised the Libservative Coalition government for approving exports to repressive, dictatorial regimes with questionable human rights and wrongs records - such as Saudi Arabia, Bahrain and Qatar – and also Egypt.
The latter’s Arab Spring pro-democracy uprising might well have led to the overthrown of manky Mubarak’s totalitarian kleptocracy, yet resulted in a socio-political disaster – going from ‘pretty bad’ to ‘fucking worse’ - with the installation of a nasty, no frills military junta that has now issued orders to shoot future demonstrators on sight – especially so if they go anywhere near Cairo’s Israeli Embassy again.
The House of Conmans cross-party Committees on Arms Exports Controls accused ministers past and present of having misjudged the risk of selling weapons to repressive regimes – and putting profit before moral concerns.
However, Ms Beverly Titwank, a Downing Street spokeswoman, utilising the propaganda powers of rhetoric over logic, informed media hacks there was no evidence to indicate that British arms or security equipment had been used in the ‘Arab Spring’ military crackdowns on protesters in North Africa or the Middle East – much as there is no conclusive proof that bears shit in the woods or Pope Benny, the Mk XVI Papal model, wears a big fish-tail hat.
Thought for the day: Lest we forget - weapons sales equal warfare – the preferred fiscal stimulus of banksters and the armaments industry alike.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.
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