Monday, 14 June 2010

Hypocrisy Central Heads Gaza Flotilla Inquiry

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

After copping out for copious lashings of condemnation from the international community for their barbaric ‘shoot first’ attack on the peaceful Gaza Freedom Flotilla in international waters last month which resulted in scores killed and injured by the IDF’s thugs – and an untold number of wounded activists arbitrarily tossed over the side of the ships as shark fodder – the Israeli Propaganda Ministry today announced it would launch an internal inquiry into the raid - which one IDF snitch revealed was conspicuously named ‘Operation Kill Every Fucker and their Dog’.

Israel earlier rejected a United Nations proposal for an international probe but has now agreed to include two foreign observers in its own inquiry – the US head of AIPAC, Sheldon Weaselberg and the controversial Dutch jurist Rabbi Shylock Slimestein.

Ms Zonah Ochel Batachat, spokeswoman for the Jerusalem-based Propaganda Ministry told a reporter from the Hypocrisy Gazette that the independent public commission would be convened in the next few days – but held in camera, with its findings being presented to Prime Minister Binman Nuttyahoo’s office and the ruling Likit Party cabinet for critical doses of censorship prior to publication.

The commission will consist of a three-man panel selected from the Ministry for Whitewash & Coverups, plus the two token foreign observers requested by the UN Secretary-General Ban Kike-Moonie, and be tasked to investigate aspects related to the actions taken by the rogue State of Israel to prevent vessels breaking the three year blockade and reaching the coast of Gaza – with former Supreme Court judge Jaakov Malakas heading and advising the commission.

Israel claims its troops acted in self-defence when activists attacked commandoes trying to board the Turkish-registered and crewed Mavi Marmara – the lead vessel of the flotilla's six aid ships. Several of the IDF soldiers were purposely showered with blood by the wounded activists and one trooper was stabbed in the back with a sharpened banana.

Conversely and in total contradiction, the flotilla activists maintain the IDF’s thugs opened fire without any provocation – with Turkey's foreign minister Kess Emakk pronouncing Israel's raid "murder by an outlaw state", while US President Barky O’Barmy described the situation as "Tragically it’s the biggest fuck up since Mossad’s bodgers snuffed the Hamas guy in his Dubai hotel room last January and got filmed on the in-house CCTV system.”

So, we ponder the facts before us. This inquiry will be staffed by a bunch of kikesters investigating the criminal acts of piracy and murder on the high seas by another bunch of State-sponsored kikesters against six vessels manned by peace activists attempting to provide humanitarian aid to the marginalised and beleaguered Palestinian population of Gaza. Yeah, right.

Hmmm, apart from stinking of Hypocrisy with a capital H, one has to cast some aspersions and doubt on the impartiality of this commission - which elicits contemplation of a provocative comparison to the Nazis conducting their own Nuremberg style investigation into the SS’s alleged acts of military aggression and war crimes relating to the Holohoax and the ‘death camps’ of Auschwitz etc.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and mis-spoken references.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views – Purveyors of Bespoke Satire – enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of political incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist lobby.

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