Wednesday, 9 June 2010

Gaza Lobster Divers Murdered by IDF

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

In total contradiction to what the pro-Zionist sycophantic BBC has posted as a banner headline on its internet website news as “Israel Foils Scuba Terrorist Attack”, Al Jazeera counters with “Israel Murders Gaza Lobster Divers”.

At an impromptu press conference outside the Knesset, the Israeli Warmonger-in-Chief Binman Nuttyahoo informed gutter press hacks from the pariah state’s tabloid newspapers that the navy has shot and killed four Palestinian terrorists wearing diving gear off the Gaza Strip coast.

Further to this an Israeli naval spokeswoman - Midshipman Sharlila Jenny Cidal - stated for the record that “It is believed those on board were Hamas militants in scuba diving gear planning a "terrorist attack" – perhaps to bait our Israeli lobster pots with non-kosher pig meat - or make a rendezvous with an Al Qaeda or Taliban submarine and get a dirty nuclear bomb.”
In closing she added rather moronically that there were no Israeli casualties.

The bodies of the four slain fishermen were washed up to the shore near the Gaza Strip city of Zahraa early on Monday, according to an official at Gaza's Ministry of Body Bags.

Conversely Captain Istimna ibn Hamel, a Hamas customs official at Deir-al-Balah on the besieged Gaza Strip enclave’s coast, informed a reporter from the Ethnic Cleansing Gazette that of the six Palestinian fishermen who were on the boat only four bullet-ridden bodies have been recovered so far – with two still missing and believed picked up by the Israeli navy to harvest their internal organs for sale on their illegal black market transplant scam.

Captain Ibn Hamel continued “These men were not Hamas militants on some fantasy terrorist mission but fishermen from here who were out to check on their lobster pots - and the 'umak sharmuta' Israeli navy just take pot shots at them for fun.”

This latest ‘shoot first’ incident by the rogue state comes in a week where the Israeli Navy's actions have been under close scrutiny following an illegal military strike on the Gaza Freedom Flotilla in international waters, which was carrying pro-Palestinian activists and humanitarian aid trying to break the blockade of Gaza – and whose mortal headcount now stands at 64 badly wounded, killed - or missing after being tossed overboard as shark fodder by the compassionate IDF troopers.

The BBC's Norman Fuctifino, based in the West Bank town of Ramallah, says it is not yet clear exactly what has occurred as he’s some 75 miles inland from the Gaza coastline and the Israeli military have imposed the usual ‘Mushroom Factor’ on any semi-accurate news reports of the incident – hence journalists are being kept in the dark and fed piles of shit – and as much booze as they can swig at their hotel bar.

So this stands as yet one more example of the Israeli kikesters unqualified arrogance and total disregard for international law, human rights or respect for human life. Hmmm, it’s as though proclaiming themselves to be the Chosen People sways them to believe they are the pinnacle of God’s (Jehovah’s) creation.

Regardless, foreign tourists to the beleaguered enclave should be forewarned that from hereon in scuba diving is to be classed as an ‘extreme sports activity’ – especially so off the coast of the Gaza Strip.

Have you been scuba diving off Gaza? Did you get shot at by the mad dog Israeli navy? Did you find any wounded lobsters? What are your views on the Freedom Flotilla attacks? Have you been tempted to write nasty slogans on a synagogue wall? Do you need any high quality imported building supplies for your illegal housing project in East Jerusalem? If so just contact the IDF’s ‘Cut Price Seized Aid’ warehouse in Ashod.

Send your comments using the online reply form below and you could win an exclusive night out for two at London’s prestigious Bar Mitzvah disco and meet up with groups of celebrity kikesters and shifty shylocks - such as members of the Rothshite crime family syndicate.

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Allergy warning: This article was written in a paranoid psychopath infested area and may contain traces of lunacy and lobster shit.

Thought for the day: If a bear shits on a Gaza beach will the IDF shoot it?

Rusty’s Skewed News Views – Purveyors of Bespoke Satire – enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of political incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist lobby.

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