Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
The Three Lions – ‘England expects’ – or expected – what precisely when we dispatched this swaggering bunch of tossers off to the wilds of Zululand armed with a pair of shin pads and new boots to face the massed hordes of ferocious foreign savages – and led by some dodgy Italian bloke called Flabbio?
Well, for £100,000-plus per week when with their Premier League home teams we expected some sod who could kick straight, not hog the ball, and a goalie who could grab and keep hold of a ‘Jabulani’ a wee big better than Bob ‘Butterfingers’ Green.
Fer fuck’s sake, if that had been the Japanese team’s goalie he’d have hung his head in shame and committed ritual seppuku right there in the goal mouth – guts and intestines spread across the entire 18 yard penalty area.
So we commenced this tragedy of errors with the Yankee Colonial Cocksuckers drawing 1 -1, then ending up with a no-score draw against a bunch of goat-bonking Bedouins from Algeria.
Yep, Algeria – OMG it’s not so long ago that this lot first got into football and started off by kicking a grass-stuffed camel’s bladder round an oasis while England were the innovators of the sacred sport of soccer in 1863.
So, after 147 years of kicking a ball around our national team still can’t beat Algeria’s Les Fennecs (Desert Foxes) – who only played their first international match in 1963 – a full hundred years behind England’s Finest.
Thankfully, and to ease the shame slightly, they managed a 1-0 win against Sloppy Slovenia’s gang of swan-roasting pikeys - only to end up as the tournament’s laughing stock down in Robertson’s Golly Land by getting thrashed 4-1 by our historical enemies – the Krauts.
What utter bollocks, if we can beat them twice – hands down - in two World Wars lasting 4 and 6 years respectively, surely we could have at least got an edge on them in a 90 minute contest of footsie dribbling skills.
God Almighty, what self-respecting soccer hooligan yobster or gobshite lager lout can hold his head up in the pub ever again after getting thrashed 4-1 by the Krauts – unless he’s toting the severed head of a Uruguayan referee?
So, what does the inquest into this fiasco conclude? Are the Three Lions team actually a bunch of over-rated (and definitely over-paid) tosspots and wankers – or did they simply have a collective blonde moment and ‘give up’ after Frank Lampost's dead cert’ goal was disallowed by Uruguayan referee Jorge Blindgit? Should Fifa President Septic Twatter be butt-fucked for not agreeing to the use of goal-line technology for the 2010 World Cup tournament?
Was having Flabbio Capello, the team’s 96-year old Wop manager, the reason for their ignominy – or was it just another contributing factor? Would England have been better with the Swediish sex maniac Sven Gore-Tex Ericsson still at the helm? Did the cacophony of the dreaded vuvulezas put the team off their stroke? Or was it President Zuma’s ANC Kleptocracy Party Youth League firebrand leader Julius Malema invoking the marginalised and disaffected black peasants - who couldn’t even afford to watch the matches on telly – to “Kill all de Honkeys!”?
Do you think it serves the England team right they’ve got to catch a bus back from Cape Town as South African Airways have refused to fly such a bunch of losers.
To paraphrase Winnie Churchill’s speech regarding the debt owed to the Battle of Britain pilots.
“Never before in the history of soccer have eleven useless twats been paid so much to get their arses kicked by a bunch of dog-wanking foreign types and embarrass their home country to the point of fractured pride and head-hanging perpetual shame.”
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and misaligned references.
Wednesday, 30 June 2010
Tuesday, 29 June 2010
Pope Lashes Paedo’ Police Raids
In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Hypocrisy’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all Church-hating atheists who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
Ex-Hitler Youth thug Joey Ratflinger – now promoted to the exalted position of Pope Benny, the German built-to-last Mk XVI ‘Uber Priester‘ pontiff model, has joined mounting Vatican criticism of unheralded raids by Belgian police on retired ranking Catholic clergy members and the Church Commission investigating alleged kiddie fiddling abuses, calling them "deplorable" – an act quite common with criminals wishing to cover up their felonious excesses and avoid further scandals – and hefty compensation pay-outs.
The home and cellars of the now-retired Brussels Archbishop Andre Cambrioleur de Merde, the head of the Belgian Bishops' Conference and former chief cleric at St Sodom’s Church of the Latter Day Catamites, was searched during the first stages of the police raid - with the prelate’s personal computer being seized as evidence after it was found to contain thousands of pornographic images (photographs) of naked juvenile choir boys submitting to perverted sexual acts, forced on them by their spiritual mentors (sic) – the Vatican’s Men in Black.
In a personal message to the Belgian bishops, Pope Benny expressed his solidarity "in this moment of sadness – now that your sins have been discovered and the shit is about to hit the fan big time – yet again.”
Magistrate Ghengis Le Twatt, the Belgian prosecutor overseeing the investigation, informed a reporter from the Shitstabbers Gazette, that the operation – code-named “Kunts in Cassocks” - concerned alleged "abuse of minors committed by a certain number of ranking Church figures comprising an elitist cabal of kiddie fiddlers.”
Several buildings were searched in raids targeting the retired archbishop and the tombs of two prelates - for evidence of necrophilia – while police in Faggotti, central Belgium, seized nearly 50,000 files relating to choir boys and other adolescent victims of paedophile abuse - plus a second computer from the offices of the Church Commission that was supposed to be investigating allegations of sex abuse by their priesthood - and not covering such up.
The ‘Paedo Plod Squad’ also turned over the Church's headquarters and the Brussels archdiocese at Fudgers, just north of the Belgian capital, seizing for forensic examination boxes of KY Jelly, ribbed ‘Anal Penetrator’ condoms and an assortment of bondage and related BD/SM equipment – all in ‘choirboy’ sizes.
Pope Benny's hypocritical condemnation of the raids came in a message of support to Brussels Archbishop Andre Cambrioleur de Merde, the head of the Belgian bishops' conference.
"I wish to express, dear brother in the Episcopate, as well as to all the Bishops of Belgium, my closeness and solidarity in this moment of sadness, in which, with certain surprising and deplorable methods - like not telling us first - searches were carried out before any and all evidence of abuse could be destroyed."
Hmmm, what a pity Big Bad Benny’s ‘moment of sadness’ wasn’t extended to the juvenile victims of the priesthood’s kiddie fiddling abuses that the Church has institutionally conspired to cover-up for ‘centuries’ – regardless of the fact that the Catholic Church in Belgium did apologised for its silence on abuse cases in the past once the scandal broke some months ago – going as far as to dispatch a ‘personal “Sorrygramme” to every choirboy forced into acts of fellatio or who had his sphincter stretched by one of the Church’s ordained sodomites.
On Saturday Vatican officials – mainly the ones with very short memories - compared the Belgian police raids and investigation into allegations of kiddie fidling abuse with the treatment of the Church under Soviet communist rule – seeming to overlook their own past history of witch and heretic burnings of the common peasant classes – or the existence of their abominable Inquisition.
Cardinal Wankio Tosspotti, the Vatican Secretary of State and founder of the Neapolitan Halitosis Club, apparently spit the dummy in a fit of apoplectic fury when informed the Belgian police had prevented the Church Commission bishops from leaving the building where they were meeting and confiscated their laptops and mobile telephones to prevent them communicating with their staff or with the Vatican until the raid was concluded – as is the normal modus operandi for police investigations into criminal syndicates promoting child sex abuse - such as the Catholic Church.
Cardinal Tosspotti - Pope Benny's number two in the Vatican hierarchy - further described the arrest and detention of priests as "serious and unbelievable" – plagiarising the original statement of condemnation issued by lawyers representing the child victims of sexual abuse by the priests that their care and spiritual education was entrusted to – as being "serious and unbelievable".
Were you ever buggered by one of the Vatican’s Men in Black? Did you belong to a Catholic Church choir? Could you hit soprano notes with a six-inch penis stuck up your jacksy? Do you think all priests should be ‘chemically castrated’ upon taking their vows to ensure celibacy and cut the cases of choirboy rapes?
Allergy warning: This article was written in a pederast-infested area and may contain traces of choirboy.
Thought for the day: Last week, Pope Benny appointed a freshly-emasculated Bishop of Bruges to replace Roger Bardache - the longest serving bishop in Belgium who resigned in April after overwhelming evidence, plus personal testimonies from his victims, forced him to admit that he had been sexually abusing choirboys for decades.
Another thought for the day: Do you believe Jesus – or his Dad or Mary or any of the Holy Trinity – approve of Catholic priests buggering little choirboys – or the Vatican’s rug-munching penguins abusing the convent’s postulants / novices?
Ex-Hitler Youth thug Joey Ratflinger – now promoted to the exalted position of Pope Benny, the German built-to-last Mk XVI ‘Uber Priester‘ pontiff model, has joined mounting Vatican criticism of unheralded raids by Belgian police on retired ranking Catholic clergy members and the Church Commission investigating alleged kiddie fiddling abuses, calling them "deplorable" – an act quite common with criminals wishing to cover up their felonious excesses and avoid further scandals – and hefty compensation pay-outs.
The home and cellars of the now-retired Brussels Archbishop Andre Cambrioleur de Merde, the head of the Belgian Bishops' Conference and former chief cleric at St Sodom’s Church of the Latter Day Catamites, was searched during the first stages of the police raid - with the prelate’s personal computer being seized as evidence after it was found to contain thousands of pornographic images (photographs) of naked juvenile choir boys submitting to perverted sexual acts, forced on them by their spiritual mentors (sic) – the Vatican’s Men in Black.
In a personal message to the Belgian bishops, Pope Benny expressed his solidarity "in this moment of sadness – now that your sins have been discovered and the shit is about to hit the fan big time – yet again.”
Magistrate Ghengis Le Twatt, the Belgian prosecutor overseeing the investigation, informed a reporter from the Shitstabbers Gazette, that the operation – code-named “Kunts in Cassocks” - concerned alleged "abuse of minors committed by a certain number of ranking Church figures comprising an elitist cabal of kiddie fiddlers.”
Several buildings were searched in raids targeting the retired archbishop and the tombs of two prelates - for evidence of necrophilia – while police in Faggotti, central Belgium, seized nearly 50,000 files relating to choir boys and other adolescent victims of paedophile abuse - plus a second computer from the offices of the Church Commission that was supposed to be investigating allegations of sex abuse by their priesthood - and not covering such up.
The ‘Paedo Plod Squad’ also turned over the Church's headquarters and the Brussels archdiocese at Fudgers, just north of the Belgian capital, seizing for forensic examination boxes of KY Jelly, ribbed ‘Anal Penetrator’ condoms and an assortment of bondage and related BD/SM equipment – all in ‘choirboy’ sizes.
Pope Benny's hypocritical condemnation of the raids came in a message of support to Brussels Archbishop Andre Cambrioleur de Merde, the head of the Belgian bishops' conference.
"I wish to express, dear brother in the Episcopate, as well as to all the Bishops of Belgium, my closeness and solidarity in this moment of sadness, in which, with certain surprising and deplorable methods - like not telling us first - searches were carried out before any and all evidence of abuse could be destroyed."
Hmmm, what a pity Big Bad Benny’s ‘moment of sadness’ wasn’t extended to the juvenile victims of the priesthood’s kiddie fiddling abuses that the Church has institutionally conspired to cover-up for ‘centuries’ – regardless of the fact that the Catholic Church in Belgium did apologised for its silence on abuse cases in the past once the scandal broke some months ago – going as far as to dispatch a ‘personal “Sorrygramme” to every choirboy forced into acts of fellatio or who had his sphincter stretched by one of the Church’s ordained sodomites.
On Saturday Vatican officials – mainly the ones with very short memories - compared the Belgian police raids and investigation into allegations of kiddie fidling abuse with the treatment of the Church under Soviet communist rule – seeming to overlook their own past history of witch and heretic burnings of the common peasant classes – or the existence of their abominable Inquisition.
Cardinal Wankio Tosspotti, the Vatican Secretary of State and founder of the Neapolitan Halitosis Club, apparently spit the dummy in a fit of apoplectic fury when informed the Belgian police had prevented the Church Commission bishops from leaving the building where they were meeting and confiscated their laptops and mobile telephones to prevent them communicating with their staff or with the Vatican until the raid was concluded – as is the normal modus operandi for police investigations into criminal syndicates promoting child sex abuse - such as the Catholic Church.
Cardinal Tosspotti - Pope Benny's number two in the Vatican hierarchy - further described the arrest and detention of priests as "serious and unbelievable" – plagiarising the original statement of condemnation issued by lawyers representing the child victims of sexual abuse by the priests that their care and spiritual education was entrusted to – as being "serious and unbelievable".
Were you ever buggered by one of the Vatican’s Men in Black? Did you belong to a Catholic Church choir? Could you hit soprano notes with a six-inch penis stuck up your jacksy? Do you think all priests should be ‘chemically castrated’ upon taking their vows to ensure celibacy and cut the cases of choirboy rapes?
Allergy warning: This article was written in a pederast-infested area and may contain traces of choirboy.
Thought for the day: Last week, Pope Benny appointed a freshly-emasculated Bishop of Bruges to replace Roger Bardache - the longest serving bishop in Belgium who resigned in April after overwhelming evidence, plus personal testimonies from his victims, forced him to admit that he had been sexually abusing choirboys for decades.
Another thought for the day: Do you believe Jesus – or his Dad or Mary or any of the Holy Trinity – approve of Catholic priests buggering little choirboys – or the Vatican’s rug-munching penguins abusing the convent’s postulants / novices?
Monday, 28 June 2010
Ersatz ‘Halal’ Bacon Tastes like Turkey
Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
The gospel according to correspondent’s reports in this week’s editions of the Pork Butcher’s Journal and the Trough Grunter’s Review confirm without any further doubts that the world has gone absolutely totally bonkers, stark raving mad.
The articles in question focus on the fact that the UK’s burgeoning Muslim population are now demanding that our traditional ‘English’ bacon be made from something else apart from the fleshy backs and flanks of dead pigs.
To achieve this end a Tamworth farmer, Mohammed bin Jackson, told one reporter from the Gammon Guzzlers Gazette that he was only reacting to demand from traders in trying to give Muslims a taste of delicious smoked pork by producing bacon-style rashers from halal-slaughtered turkeys.
Mr bin Jackson’s attempts to imitate the meat, which Muslims cannot eat because of their religion, has prompted the radical Islamic scholar Sheikh Fizzy al Kaseltzer to voice concerns that it could lead to Muslims eating real bacon from nasty haram (forbidden) piggy wiggys.
However, Farmer bin Jackson elaborated “Wot I’m trying ter achieve wiv me genetically-modified breedin’ programme is a mutant porker crossed wiv a turkey but the only problem so far is that the effin’ rashers don’t smell like bacon – even though the hybrids have got four trotters, are covered in feathers an’ grunt or gobble as the mood takes ‘em.”
“It woz okay last year when we crossed one of our pigs wiv an Indian elephant ter boost our luncheon meat production an’ we came up wiv the ‘Spammoth’. It’s a right ugly lookin’ twat of a thing but yer gets 6,000 tins of Spam off one carcass – not includin’ its trunk.”
“It’s all these industrial estate butty vans wot’s caused this problem wiv the Muslim lads goin’ out fer a sarnie at brew time and all yer infidel heathen Brits scoffin’ bacon an’ sausage barms an’ the smell really turns ‘em on an’ they have ter get their tucker at the halal van down the road – effin’ fried goat an’ egg in a pitta bread wrap.”
Conversely and in total opposition to Mohammed bin Jackson’s turkey-hog hybrid products, Ms Fellattia van der Gamm of the anti-GM ‘Frankenfoods’ group “Leave Nature the Fuck Alone’ – told one reporter from the Mutant Grub Review that “What the hell are we going to see next – odourless fish products? Kipper-less kippers? We are already plagued with non-dairy milk and cheeses – and low-cholesterol yolkless eggs - all of which taste like shit.”
* Carbon Credit Cap & Trade Exchange (aka Pollution Reduction Scam) declaration: No trees, fish, cormorants, bumble bees or small furry mammals were harmed in posting this message. However, several sounders of pigs were temporarily offended.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest ‘porkies’ and misaligned references. This article was written in a swine-infested area and may contain traces of smoked hog.
Thought for the day: So, that’s what Muslims think of our pigs. Has anybody ever stopped to contemplate what our pigs think of Muslims?
The gospel according to correspondent’s reports in this week’s editions of the Pork Butcher’s Journal and the Trough Grunter’s Review confirm without any further doubts that the world has gone absolutely totally bonkers, stark raving mad.
The articles in question focus on the fact that the UK’s burgeoning Muslim population are now demanding that our traditional ‘English’ bacon be made from something else apart from the fleshy backs and flanks of dead pigs.
To achieve this end a Tamworth farmer, Mohammed bin Jackson, told one reporter from the Gammon Guzzlers Gazette that he was only reacting to demand from traders in trying to give Muslims a taste of delicious smoked pork by producing bacon-style rashers from halal-slaughtered turkeys.
Mr bin Jackson’s attempts to imitate the meat, which Muslims cannot eat because of their religion, has prompted the radical Islamic scholar Sheikh Fizzy al Kaseltzer to voice concerns that it could lead to Muslims eating real bacon from nasty haram (forbidden) piggy wiggys.
However, Farmer bin Jackson elaborated “Wot I’m trying ter achieve wiv me genetically-modified breedin’ programme is a mutant porker crossed wiv a turkey but the only problem so far is that the effin’ rashers don’t smell like bacon – even though the hybrids have got four trotters, are covered in feathers an’ grunt or gobble as the mood takes ‘em.”
“It woz okay last year when we crossed one of our pigs wiv an Indian elephant ter boost our luncheon meat production an’ we came up wiv the ‘Spammoth’. It’s a right ugly lookin’ twat of a thing but yer gets 6,000 tins of Spam off one carcass – not includin’ its trunk.”
“It’s all these industrial estate butty vans wot’s caused this problem wiv the Muslim lads goin’ out fer a sarnie at brew time and all yer infidel heathen Brits scoffin’ bacon an’ sausage barms an’ the smell really turns ‘em on an’ they have ter get their tucker at the halal van down the road – effin’ fried goat an’ egg in a pitta bread wrap.”
Conversely and in total opposition to Mohammed bin Jackson’s turkey-hog hybrid products, Ms Fellattia van der Gamm of the anti-GM ‘Frankenfoods’ group “Leave Nature the Fuck Alone’ – told one reporter from the Mutant Grub Review that “What the hell are we going to see next – odourless fish products? Kipper-less kippers? We are already plagued with non-dairy milk and cheeses – and low-cholesterol yolkless eggs - all of which taste like shit.”
* Carbon Credit Cap & Trade Exchange (aka Pollution Reduction Scam) declaration: No trees, fish, cormorants, bumble bees or small furry mammals were harmed in posting this message. However, several sounders of pigs were temporarily offended.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest ‘porkies’ and misaligned references. This article was written in a swine-infested area and may contain traces of smoked hog.
Thought for the day: So, that’s what Muslims think of our pigs. Has anybody ever stopped to contemplate what our pigs think of Muslims?
Sunday, 27 June 2010
Banned in Gaza - Nuttyahoo’s Nutty Logic
Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
In a typical display of customary kikester duplicity, no sooner had the outlaw Israeli government announced it was intending to issue a fresh and revised index of ‘contraband items’ that were not allowed to be shipped into the Gaza Strip – with the focus on placating international demands to allow more food and humanitarian goods into the tiny besieged enclave - the rogue state’s incumbent psychopath Slime Minister, Binman Nuttyahoo, personally delivered a sick pledge that the move would actually “tighten” the blockade.
The paranoid psychotic Ashkenazi shylock then added a wholly fanciful piece of faulty logic by pronouncing "In allowing pencils and paper, corn flakes and pasta to be transported into Gaza we have deprived Hamas of the right to blame Israel for starving the Palestinian population, and our Zionist friends around the world are now getting behind our decision and giving international legitimacy to the security blockade of the Gaza ghetto.”
Sycophantic toadies inside the Slime Munster's office expressed ‘nodding dog’ agreement with the move, with the Secretary for Ethnic Cleansing, Sheldon Scumberger telling one reporter from the Intifada Gazette "In the wake of this humanitarian decision by the Knesset the world's 20/20 hindsight will now be focused on the coriander warhead missiles that Hamas was firing out of Gaza and not the potato crisps that Israel isn't allowing in.”
Another official in charge of the Department for Transplant Organ Thefts, Rabbi Sakran Ratsach, opined that the policy reversal was the right move, even without Israel's homicidal pirate raid on the Turkish humanitarian aid flotilla three weeks ago, which stepped up pressure on Israel to lift the siege in the wake of the attack – after leaving nine activists dead, scores wounded, and dozens missing - believed eaten by big fish after being tossed overboard by the IDF's psychopaths.
The decision drew praise from the Zionist kikester-dominated White House and heaps of criticism from the Hamas rulers of the Gaza Strip - and likewise human rights groups world-wide - who called it “yet another typical piece of pro-Zionist Israeli propaganda and deception" and maintained that the illegal Nazi-style blockade must be lifted in entirety and the abominable Great Apartheid Wall dismantled – with the use of UN troops if necessary.
Conversely the Prime Minister’s office emphasized in a statement that its current defence regime along the Gaza border would remain in place and that Israel still regards the democratically-elected political party of Hamas as a terrorist organization – much the same as Hamas leaders themselves regard the political parties currently squatting in the Knesset – and all other kikesters responsible for the 1948 Nakba.
Prohibited items for shipment into the Gaza Strip:
Apart from the obvious such as SAM 7 missiles, AK47’s, 7.62 mm ammunition, C4 plastic explosives and enriched uranium we also have a ban on sage, cardamom, cumin, coriander, rice, Black Mamba ribbed condoms, ginger, jam, halva, vinegar, inflatable aardvarks, nutmeg, chocolate, fruit preserves, seeds and nuts, biscuits and sweets, potato chips, personal vibrators, CO2 gas for soft drinks, dried fruit, fresh meat, plaster, tar, wood for construction, cement, iron, glucose, industrial salt, vuvulezas, plastics, glass, metals, industrial margarine, tarpaulin sheets for huts, fabric (for clothing), flavor and smell enhancers, fishing rods, various fishing nets, ropes for fishing buoys, toothpaste, Preparation H haemorrhoid ointment, nylon nets for greenhouses, hatcheries and spare parts for hatcheries, spare parts for tractors, dairy equipment, irrigation pipe systems, ropes to tie greenhouses – or Israeli prisoners, planters for saplings, heaters for chicken farms, musical instruments, A4 printing / photocopying paper, writing implements, notebooks, newspapers, toys, razors, sewing machines and spare parts, heaters, horses, donkeys, goats, cattle - and chickens (in case Hamas throw eggs at the IDF’s thugs).
The gospel according to Israel's Likit Party’s Secretary for Propaganda, Mr Ochel Batachat "This new policy will generate sympathy for us – for we are the victims surrounded by Muslim enemies – and we need all the sympathy we can get.”
Thought for the day: Sympathy – it’s right there in the dictionary – wedged in between ‘Shit’ and ‘Syphilis’.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and misaligned references.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views – Purveyors of Bespoke Satire – enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of political incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist lobby.
In a typical display of customary kikester duplicity, no sooner had the outlaw Israeli government announced it was intending to issue a fresh and revised index of ‘contraband items’ that were not allowed to be shipped into the Gaza Strip – with the focus on placating international demands to allow more food and humanitarian goods into the tiny besieged enclave - the rogue state’s incumbent psychopath Slime Minister, Binman Nuttyahoo, personally delivered a sick pledge that the move would actually “tighten” the blockade.
The paranoid psychotic Ashkenazi shylock then added a wholly fanciful piece of faulty logic by pronouncing "In allowing pencils and paper, corn flakes and pasta to be transported into Gaza we have deprived Hamas of the right to blame Israel for starving the Palestinian population, and our Zionist friends around the world are now getting behind our decision and giving international legitimacy to the security blockade of the Gaza ghetto.”
Sycophantic toadies inside the Slime Munster's office expressed ‘nodding dog’ agreement with the move, with the Secretary for Ethnic Cleansing, Sheldon Scumberger telling one reporter from the Intifada Gazette "In the wake of this humanitarian decision by the Knesset the world's 20/20 hindsight will now be focused on the coriander warhead missiles that Hamas was firing out of Gaza and not the potato crisps that Israel isn't allowing in.”
Another official in charge of the Department for Transplant Organ Thefts, Rabbi Sakran Ratsach, opined that the policy reversal was the right move, even without Israel's homicidal pirate raid on the Turkish humanitarian aid flotilla three weeks ago, which stepped up pressure on Israel to lift the siege in the wake of the attack – after leaving nine activists dead, scores wounded, and dozens missing - believed eaten by big fish after being tossed overboard by the IDF's psychopaths.
The decision drew praise from the Zionist kikester-dominated White House and heaps of criticism from the Hamas rulers of the Gaza Strip - and likewise human rights groups world-wide - who called it “yet another typical piece of pro-Zionist Israeli propaganda and deception" and maintained that the illegal Nazi-style blockade must be lifted in entirety and the abominable Great Apartheid Wall dismantled – with the use of UN troops if necessary.
Conversely the Prime Minister’s office emphasized in a statement that its current defence regime along the Gaza border would remain in place and that Israel still regards the democratically-elected political party of Hamas as a terrorist organization – much the same as Hamas leaders themselves regard the political parties currently squatting in the Knesset – and all other kikesters responsible for the 1948 Nakba.
Prohibited items for shipment into the Gaza Strip:
Apart from the obvious such as SAM 7 missiles, AK47’s, 7.62 mm ammunition, C4 plastic explosives and enriched uranium we also have a ban on sage, cardamom, cumin, coriander, rice, Black Mamba ribbed condoms, ginger, jam, halva, vinegar, inflatable aardvarks, nutmeg, chocolate, fruit preserves, seeds and nuts, biscuits and sweets, potato chips, personal vibrators, CO2 gas for soft drinks, dried fruit, fresh meat, plaster, tar, wood for construction, cement, iron, glucose, industrial salt, vuvulezas, plastics, glass, metals, industrial margarine, tarpaulin sheets for huts, fabric (for clothing), flavor and smell enhancers, fishing rods, various fishing nets, ropes for fishing buoys, toothpaste, Preparation H haemorrhoid ointment, nylon nets for greenhouses, hatcheries and spare parts for hatcheries, spare parts for tractors, dairy equipment, irrigation pipe systems, ropes to tie greenhouses – or Israeli prisoners, planters for saplings, heaters for chicken farms, musical instruments, A4 printing / photocopying paper, writing implements, notebooks, newspapers, toys, razors, sewing machines and spare parts, heaters, horses, donkeys, goats, cattle - and chickens (in case Hamas throw eggs at the IDF’s thugs).
The gospel according to Israel's Likit Party’s Secretary for Propaganda, Mr Ochel Batachat "This new policy will generate sympathy for us – for we are the victims surrounded by Muslim enemies – and we need all the sympathy we can get.”
Thought for the day: Sympathy – it’s right there in the dictionary – wedged in between ‘Shit’ and ‘Syphilis’.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and misaligned references.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views – Purveyors of Bespoke Satire – enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of political incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist lobby.
Gorgonzilla to Welcome Troops Home
Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
Gorgonzilla Parker-Bowles, aka the ‘Dirty Deviant’ Duchess of Stonewall and partner to HRH Charles, Prince of Wales, is to greet 650 UK troops returning from ‘Pipeline and Opium Crop’ guard duties in Afghanistan in what the Ministry of Defence claims will be the biggest-ever military homecoming event since Dunkirk.
The soldiers of 11th Shithouse Brigade will march through the city of Crudchester to the cacophonous racket of the massed steel bands of the 14th Light Fingered Pikey Battalion and the 27th Notting Hill Dreadlock Rifles, accompanied by the stringed strains of the balalaika-plucking minstrels from the 28th Albanian Swan-Roasters Unit.
Sixty-four soldiers from the brigade were killed in action during its six-week tour of duty from friendly fire by US Predator drones – with a further fourteen succumbing to the ravages of galloping diarrhoea – aka the ‘Kabul Kacks’.
Luckily the combined force never encountered the Taliban – seen by many strategic observers to represent the enemy in this nine year conflict to conquer their country and enforce the loathed precepts of Western democracy and Christian morality – such as equality for women - whether they like it or not.
The brigade, based in Smegmashire, is made up of 12 UK-wide regiments and was formed especially for the Afghanistan Bellend Province deployment from the stragglers and survivors of the 21st Cannon Fodder Regiment; the 18th & 26th Body Bag Battalions; the Queen’s Own Asbo Rifles; the 23rd Scumdale Scally Rangers and the 15th Yobsters Hopscotch Mine Detector Corps.
The 11th Shithouse Brigade will disband following the homecoming event and with all members now having served their Community Service Orders, will be free to sign on at their local Jobcentres the following Monday morning and return to the mundane distractions of civilian life.
Gorgonzilla will be presenting ‘Well Done’ combat badges to the returning troopers plus doling out a duty-free pack each of her husband’s Duchy Originals full strength ‘Coffin Nails’ cigarettes (her personal preference brand) – along with a limited edition jar of Dead Tomcat Marmalade.
Following this, a service of thanksgiving and remembrance will then be held at the local Yob and Pitbull Arms pub – with a dozen kegs of Old Headbanger lager laid on at the Minister of Defence’s expense.
Scandalous rumours that the lecherous Gorgonzilla might be tempted to give each trooper a ‘thank you’ kiss when she bestows their ‘Well Done’ decorations met with a cocked eye of surprise from Ministry of Defence spokeswoman Major Sapphie Dildodo “Well, I suppose the chaps won’t mind or be offended as long as she keeps that forked tongue in her mouth.”
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and misaligned references.
Gorgonzilla Parker-Bowles, aka the ‘Dirty Deviant’ Duchess of Stonewall and partner to HRH Charles, Prince of Wales, is to greet 650 UK troops returning from ‘Pipeline and Opium Crop’ guard duties in Afghanistan in what the Ministry of Defence claims will be the biggest-ever military homecoming event since Dunkirk.
The soldiers of 11th Shithouse Brigade will march through the city of Crudchester to the cacophonous racket of the massed steel bands of the 14th Light Fingered Pikey Battalion and the 27th Notting Hill Dreadlock Rifles, accompanied by the stringed strains of the balalaika-plucking minstrels from the 28th Albanian Swan-Roasters Unit.
Sixty-four soldiers from the brigade were killed in action during its six-week tour of duty from friendly fire by US Predator drones – with a further fourteen succumbing to the ravages of galloping diarrhoea – aka the ‘Kabul Kacks’.
Luckily the combined force never encountered the Taliban – seen by many strategic observers to represent the enemy in this nine year conflict to conquer their country and enforce the loathed precepts of Western democracy and Christian morality – such as equality for women - whether they like it or not.
The brigade, based in Smegmashire, is made up of 12 UK-wide regiments and was formed especially for the Afghanistan Bellend Province deployment from the stragglers and survivors of the 21st Cannon Fodder Regiment; the 18th & 26th Body Bag Battalions; the Queen’s Own Asbo Rifles; the 23rd Scumdale Scally Rangers and the 15th Yobsters Hopscotch Mine Detector Corps.
The 11th Shithouse Brigade will disband following the homecoming event and with all members now having served their Community Service Orders, will be free to sign on at their local Jobcentres the following Monday morning and return to the mundane distractions of civilian life.
Gorgonzilla will be presenting ‘Well Done’ combat badges to the returning troopers plus doling out a duty-free pack each of her husband’s Duchy Originals full strength ‘Coffin Nails’ cigarettes (her personal preference brand) – along with a limited edition jar of Dead Tomcat Marmalade.
Following this, a service of thanksgiving and remembrance will then be held at the local Yob and Pitbull Arms pub – with a dozen kegs of Old Headbanger lager laid on at the Minister of Defence’s expense.
Scandalous rumours that the lecherous Gorgonzilla might be tempted to give each trooper a ‘thank you’ kiss when she bestows their ‘Well Done’ decorations met with a cocked eye of surprise from Ministry of Defence spokeswoman Major Sapphie Dildodo “Well, I suppose the chaps won’t mind or be offended as long as she keeps that forked tongue in her mouth.”
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and misaligned references.
Saturday, 26 June 2010
Windfarms to get ‘No Blow’ Subsidy
Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
In what has got to be the most stupid subsidy scheme to be introduced since their last stupid subsidy scheme, the Libservative government’s Department for Wasting Time & Money are set to pay Britain's biggest wind farm corporations not to produce electricity – even when the wind’s howling in from the North Atlantic at a Force Six on the Beaufort scale.
Energy firms will receive zillions of pounds a day per wind farm to turn off their turbines due the idiotic fact the National Grid cannot use the power they are producing – preferring the bizarre logic of shutting down the renewable green energy solar power systems than their non-sustainable fossil fuel guzzling fuel oil and coal fired power stations.
In an attempt to justify their abberant dialectic the National Grid states fears that on breezy nights wind farms could actually cause a surge in the electricity supply when the power demand from recession-hit businesses and poverty-stricken households is close to zilch.
While it is prohibitively expensive and involves what engineers term as “too much fucking about” with ‘inverters’, ‘bridge rectifiers’ and mega-banks of wet cell batteries, the excess electricity is problematic to store, so one solution – known as the 'balancing mechanism' – is to switch off or reduce the power supplied.
The system is already used to reduce supply from nasty pro-pollution coal-fired power stations when there is low demand.
However, shutting down wind farms is likely to cost the National Grid, and ultimately consumers, far higher premiums as when wind turbines are turned off the operators are deprived not only of earned revenue for the electricity they would have generated but also their lucrative carbon credit cap n trade 'green' subsidies for that electricity.
Under the new scheme the first successful test shut down of wind farms took place three weeks ago when Porridge Wog Paedo Power in Aberdeen’s Grampian area received £13,000 quid per unit for closing down two turbine facilities for a single hour on the 30th May at seven in the morning as they were disturbing Mr Donald Trump’s pre-breakfast beach jogging session around his new Trumpton Pederasts International Golf Course.
Mr Hector McTwat, the CEO for Porridge Wog Paedo Power, told a reporter from the Scam-Busters Gazette “Hey, this is an incredible scheme – we shut our main Ferryhill and Pederast Point wind turbine plants down for a single hour while the Trump goes fer a wee run along the sands and raked in £26,000 quid – whereas we only earn £10,000 per hour for each plant when they’re whirling flat out like a lizard drinking. What a money-spinning wheeze – God bless these Libservative Dummercat blokes running Parliament.”
Vince Scrunt, a self-styled 'Zero Carbonista' energy icon, made his money – and lots and lots of it – out of similar subsidies from his innovative wind farm empire – SCAMTRICITY - that stretches from Scumerset to Scotland.
These subsidies fall under the Renewable Obligation Certificate (ROC) system which was implemented in 2001 by Tony Bliar’s Labour government to encourage energy companies and individuals to invest in renewable energy.
Not everybody is impressed by Mr Scrunt’s financial acumen, however. Ms Fellattia Titwank, spokeswoman for the Renewable Energy Foundation, told one journalist from the Hot Fusion Gazette that “We at the REF have long argued that the ROC system has rewarded the wind turbine industry with an income disproportionate to the quality and usefulness of the electrical power they don’t produce.”
“Mr Scrunt's 14 wind farms registered under his Scamtricity corporate logo have received more than £63 million in subsidies since the scheme was introduced by the asinine Labour government in 2001 – in exchange for which they’ve generated zero electricity in accordance with the statutes of the Renewable Obligation Certificate system.”
* Carbon Credit Cap & Trade Exchange (aka Pollution Reduction Scam) declaration: No trees, fish, cormorants, bumble bees or small furry mammals were harmed in posting this message. However, a large number of electrons were temporarily inconvenienced.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and misaligned references.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views – Purveyors of Bespoke Satire – enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of political incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist lobby.
In what has got to be the most stupid subsidy scheme to be introduced since their last stupid subsidy scheme, the Libservative government’s Department for Wasting Time & Money are set to pay Britain's biggest wind farm corporations not to produce electricity – even when the wind’s howling in from the North Atlantic at a Force Six on the Beaufort scale.
Energy firms will receive zillions of pounds a day per wind farm to turn off their turbines due the idiotic fact the National Grid cannot use the power they are producing – preferring the bizarre logic of shutting down the renewable green energy solar power systems than their non-sustainable fossil fuel guzzling fuel oil and coal fired power stations.
In an attempt to justify their abberant dialectic the National Grid states fears that on breezy nights wind farms could actually cause a surge in the electricity supply when the power demand from recession-hit businesses and poverty-stricken households is close to zilch.
While it is prohibitively expensive and involves what engineers term as “too much fucking about” with ‘inverters’, ‘bridge rectifiers’ and mega-banks of wet cell batteries, the excess electricity is problematic to store, so one solution – known as the 'balancing mechanism' – is to switch off or reduce the power supplied.
The system is already used to reduce supply from nasty pro-pollution coal-fired power stations when there is low demand.
However, shutting down wind farms is likely to cost the National Grid, and ultimately consumers, far higher premiums as when wind turbines are turned off the operators are deprived not only of earned revenue for the electricity they would have generated but also their lucrative carbon credit cap n trade 'green' subsidies for that electricity.
Under the new scheme the first successful test shut down of wind farms took place three weeks ago when Porridge Wog Paedo Power in Aberdeen’s Grampian area received £13,000 quid per unit for closing down two turbine facilities for a single hour on the 30th May at seven in the morning as they were disturbing Mr Donald Trump’s pre-breakfast beach jogging session around his new Trumpton Pederasts International Golf Course.
Mr Hector McTwat, the CEO for Porridge Wog Paedo Power, told a reporter from the Scam-Busters Gazette “Hey, this is an incredible scheme – we shut our main Ferryhill and Pederast Point wind turbine plants down for a single hour while the Trump goes fer a wee run along the sands and raked in £26,000 quid – whereas we only earn £10,000 per hour for each plant when they’re whirling flat out like a lizard drinking. What a money-spinning wheeze – God bless these Libservative Dummercat blokes running Parliament.”
Vince Scrunt, a self-styled 'Zero Carbonista' energy icon, made his money – and lots and lots of it – out of similar subsidies from his innovative wind farm empire – SCAMTRICITY - that stretches from Scumerset to Scotland.
These subsidies fall under the Renewable Obligation Certificate (ROC) system which was implemented in 2001 by Tony Bliar’s Labour government to encourage energy companies and individuals to invest in renewable energy.
Not everybody is impressed by Mr Scrunt’s financial acumen, however. Ms Fellattia Titwank, spokeswoman for the Renewable Energy Foundation, told one journalist from the Hot Fusion Gazette that “We at the REF have long argued that the ROC system has rewarded the wind turbine industry with an income disproportionate to the quality and usefulness of the electrical power they don’t produce.”
“Mr Scrunt's 14 wind farms registered under his Scamtricity corporate logo have received more than £63 million in subsidies since the scheme was introduced by the asinine Labour government in 2001 – in exchange for which they’ve generated zero electricity in accordance with the statutes of the Renewable Obligation Certificate system.”
* Carbon Credit Cap & Trade Exchange (aka Pollution Reduction Scam) declaration: No trees, fish, cormorants, bumble bees or small furry mammals were harmed in posting this message. However, a large number of electrons were temporarily inconvenienced.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and misaligned references.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views – Purveyors of Bespoke Satire – enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of political incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist lobby.
Mossad Kikesters Pushing Drugs in Goa
Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
In a major setback to the graft and corruption probe against the politician-police-drug mafia nexus in Goa, India, a trial court has this week released the notorious Israeli drug dealer Kvelling Mamzer, alias Atala the Shylock, on conditional bail citing a total lack of a case against him since the police evidence storage facility caught fire last week, and all the prosecution’s witnesses enjoined in a mass communal suicide pact by overdosing with Proxamol and slashing their own wrists with a shared blunt gardening penknife in the secluded Grassy Knoll Woods.
The sitting justice for the Special Narcotic Drugs and Psychotropic Substances Act court, Judge Bimbo Scallywag, released Atala, stating for the record there was no further evidence put forth by Goa’s ‘Honest Plod Division’ to justify his continued presence in judicial custody.
Judge Scallywag also thanked Atala for not having his Mossad contacts kill his family – and for the new numbered bank account in Geneva with lots of money in it. He advised Atala to deposit his passport with Tosspot’s Tours and get his sorry arse out of India as soon as possible before there was any chance of further excrement impacting with the rotating wind device.
Before the original police case went totally tits up in a bucket, Atala had been operating his hard drugs dealership around Goa, marketing top notch Afghan heroin supplied by Mossad via the bent Israeli Consulate in Mumbai.
The Israeli kikester Atala got his sad black arse arrested in March this year (along with six crooked plods, including a police inspector, Ashplant Shitcanned, who formerly headed the anti-narcotics operation) after his Swedish ex-girlfriend Elke Titwank uploaded footage onto the Internet, and the social networking sites Twatter and Fuckbook - where the gobshite shylock was doubly-drunk and stoned on his own product, and boasting of his criminally-corrupt links with Goa’s senior police officials and politicians.
Ms Titwank also alleged that a senior politician’s son - who cannot be named for legal reasons - (Ramjam Jaffacake Jnr) was involved in the drug trade with Atala. However, following her recent suicide she has been unavailable to confirm these accusations, according to Deputy Superintendent of Police Bogbrush Chuckabutty, who spoke to a correspondent from the Scandalmonger’s Gazette.
“It is one of the most determined cases of suicide it has ever been my experience to investigate – that this woman – obviously distraught and conscience-ridden by the lies she has uttered against that nice generous Israeli gentleman Mr Kvelling Mamzer and certain of Goa’s finest police officers – went out and beat herself to death over the head with a claw hammer – then cut her own throat. I think this act of felo-de-se illustrates true penance for her lies and sins.”
Responding to the development, Commissioner Mograt Dongleberry of the Criminal Bureau of Investigation told Pox News that while the Swedish whistle-blower taking her own life was unfortunate and detrimental to the prosecution’s chances of obtaining a conviction, this was to be expected when cases such as these came to court and trial in the middle of India’s annual ‘suicide season’.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and misaligned references.
In a major setback to the graft and corruption probe against the politician-police-drug mafia nexus in Goa, India, a trial court has this week released the notorious Israeli drug dealer Kvelling Mamzer, alias Atala the Shylock, on conditional bail citing a total lack of a case against him since the police evidence storage facility caught fire last week, and all the prosecution’s witnesses enjoined in a mass communal suicide pact by overdosing with Proxamol and slashing their own wrists with a shared blunt gardening penknife in the secluded Grassy Knoll Woods.
The sitting justice for the Special Narcotic Drugs and Psychotropic Substances Act court, Judge Bimbo Scallywag, released Atala, stating for the record there was no further evidence put forth by Goa’s ‘Honest Plod Division’ to justify his continued presence in judicial custody.
Judge Scallywag also thanked Atala for not having his Mossad contacts kill his family – and for the new numbered bank account in Geneva with lots of money in it. He advised Atala to deposit his passport with Tosspot’s Tours and get his sorry arse out of India as soon as possible before there was any chance of further excrement impacting with the rotating wind device.
Before the original police case went totally tits up in a bucket, Atala had been operating his hard drugs dealership around Goa, marketing top notch Afghan heroin supplied by Mossad via the bent Israeli Consulate in Mumbai.
The Israeli kikester Atala got his sad black arse arrested in March this year (along with six crooked plods, including a police inspector, Ashplant Shitcanned, who formerly headed the anti-narcotics operation) after his Swedish ex-girlfriend Elke Titwank uploaded footage onto the Internet, and the social networking sites Twatter and Fuckbook - where the gobshite shylock was doubly-drunk and stoned on his own product, and boasting of his criminally-corrupt links with Goa’s senior police officials and politicians.
Ms Titwank also alleged that a senior politician’s son - who cannot be named for legal reasons - (Ramjam Jaffacake Jnr) was involved in the drug trade with Atala. However, following her recent suicide she has been unavailable to confirm these accusations, according to Deputy Superintendent of Police Bogbrush Chuckabutty, who spoke to a correspondent from the Scandalmonger’s Gazette.
“It is one of the most determined cases of suicide it has ever been my experience to investigate – that this woman – obviously distraught and conscience-ridden by the lies she has uttered against that nice generous Israeli gentleman Mr Kvelling Mamzer and certain of Goa’s finest police officers – went out and beat herself to death over the head with a claw hammer – then cut her own throat. I think this act of felo-de-se illustrates true penance for her lies and sins.”
Responding to the development, Commissioner Mograt Dongleberry of the Criminal Bureau of Investigation told Pox News that while the Swedish whistle-blower taking her own life was unfortunate and detrimental to the prosecution’s chances of obtaining a conviction, this was to be expected when cases such as these came to court and trial in the middle of India’s annual ‘suicide season’.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and misaligned references.
Friday, 25 June 2010
Obama Gulf Drilling Ban Over-ruled
Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
According to reports in this morning’s copies of the Daily Shitraker and the Scandalmonger’s Gazette – plus a dozen other red top gutter press tabloids - the federal judge who over-ruled and lifted President Barky O’Barmy's six-month drilling moratorium has personal financial interests in Transocean – the owner / operators of the doomed Deepshit Horizon drilling rig responsible for the current Gulf of Mexico oil-belching catastrophe - plus a significant number of other offshore energy companies.
Seymour Scumbaum Feldman, a career kikester and U.S. District Court Judge for the Eastern District of Redneck County, Louisiana, stated for the record when over-ruling the ban “Oil and gas production is quite simply elemental to Gulf communities so let’s not lose sight of our commercial objectives and contracts simply due another ‘minor’ oil spill.”
Hence with human avarice grasping for lucre regardless of consequences, the worshippers of Mammon have opened (or rather drilled a hole into) Pandora’s box by sinking a well into an immense reservoir of abiotic oil and gas capped by a pre-fractured and unstable sea bed geology that’s prerssurised to 100,000 psi by the volcanic magma chamber below.
But Judge Feldman was just looking after the interests of his industry buddies – plus himself – as he has energy stocks in Transocean, Scalliburton and Scumbaum Drilling (no relation) as well as two of BP's largest U.S. private shareholders -- BlackCock and JP Morgan (cut to the) Chase.
Below is a list of stocks from the Scumbaum’s personal oil and gas related portfolio.
JP Morgan Chase, BlackCock; Ocean Energy; NGP Capital Resources; Quicksilver Resources; Hercules Offshore, Provident Energy; Peabody Energy; PenGrowth Energy; RPC Inc.; Atlas Energy Resources; Parker Drilling; TXCO Resources; EV Energy Partners; Rowan Companies; BPZ Resources; El Paso Corp; KBR Inc; Chesapeake Energy and ATP Oil & Gas.
Hmmm, perhaps it’s just me - can anyone else smell a rat around here - or is it the fectal stench of ‘conflict of interest’?
The new Presidential law that Judge Feldman overturned would have halted the approval of any further permits and suspended deepwater drilling at 33 existing exploratory wells in the Gulf of Mexico, four of which are dodgy BP rigs – until some geo-rocket scientist comes up with a method of halting the zillion gallons per day leak of crude from the sea bed caused by BP’s disgraceful lack of initiative and due diligence in ignoring the warnings of the geophysicists regarding the inherent pre-fractured weaknesses of the sub sea strata.
"It's a pretty damning piece of evidence of conflict of interest," claims Betsy Titwank, Vice President for Energy Policy at American Progress. "Transocean is the world's largest offshore drilling company and holds most of the offshore drilling rigs in the world. Now straight after they sabotaged the Deepshit Horizon rig Scumbaum-Feldman is letting them continue drilling in other areas of the Gulf – that’s more fucked up than having a wank with a condom on.”
Thirty-seven of the thirty-eight active or senior judges in key Gulf Coast districts in Louisiana, Texas, Alabama, Mississippi and Florida have links to oil, gas and related energy industries – all of which own substantial amounts of stocks or bonds in these major oil companies they lobby for and return favourable judgements to – including BP, Scalliburton and Transocean.
Thus with the oil and gas industry ties among federal judges being so widespread and corruptly enmeshed, this has jeopardizing a law courts' ability to do routine business in anything resembling an honest fashion.
Meanwhile back at Idiocy Central in Washington, the Environmental Protection Agency has its spin doctors on 24/7 alert to dispel the truth that the Deepshit Horizon rig disaster was a planned scenario to create the cataclysmic mess that is now beginning to manifest itself, with the sub-sea flows burgeoning at such a geometric rate the sea floor will eventually burst in an apocalyptic volcanic type eruption, spewing a blanket of deadly toxic gases that will sweep inland and snuff everyone old enough to cough – immediately followed by an 80 to 120 foot high tsunami radiating out from the Deepshit Horizon drill site – that will definitely wash Florida off the map and also clean out the Cajun country mutants.
Hmmm, and the White House is allowing BP to administer the ‘impossible’ capping of its own sub-sea disaster – and supervise the cleanup with the Coreshite 9500 ‘dispersant’ (nope- not a solvent) that’s ten times more toxic than the crude itself.
A point in fact: stuff using Coreshite 9500 - there are currently 2000 oil skimmers in the United States that could be sailed around to the Gulf and at least attempt to keep on top of the ever-expanding mess of oil plumes.
So, why is this? President O’Barmy’s response was, “We can’t just take these skimmers from other places around the US coastline as they might have an oil spill themselves!” Que – is this guy for real? Oh yes, yet another case of the lunatics being placed in charge of the asylum.
But when BP can choose their own pet judge to adjudicate on all the oil damage lawsuits filed against them then something’s fucked up with a capital F.
Facing more than 100 lawsuits to date following the Deepshit Horizon explosion which killed 11 workers, countless fish, turtles and pelicans, and threatens four coastal states – plus Mexico itself - BP wants to place every pre-trial issue in the hands of a single federal judge in Houston – specifically District Judge Lynn Hughes.
Hughes travels the world giving ‘paid’ lectures on ‘ethics’ for the American Association of Petroleum Geologists, a professional association and research group that is so totally in bed with BP and other oil companies that it constitutes an incestuous relationship.
So, we have parties of oil industry self-interest – their PR propaganda spin doctors - and too the O’Barmy government’s sophistry spinster quacks – spewing out disingenuous optimism with regard to the continuing and unstoppable mega-flow of oil from the fractured seabed - and the cleanup operations.
But the critics are wisely silent and simply point a finger at the burgeoning environmental disaster zone – with nary a one wishing to be labelled a Doomsayer by making mention that the region’s hurricane season has already started.
Hurricane, cyclone, typhoon – they’re all the same ocean-generated ‘divine winds’. In Asia I’ve observed a typhoon blast in from the Pacific, batter the coast and move inland for sixty miles, leaving a visible coating of seawater salt on the ground, buildings and foliage in its wake.
Now, worst case scenario – not only will the next hurricane crossing the Gulf and making landfall from Texan to Florida coat everything with nasty unctuous crude oil but also the super-toxic Coreshite 9500 dispersant chemical. No shit, just wait until that crap gets into the food chain – and your kid’s DNA.
Carbon Credit Cap & Trade Exchange (aka Pollution Reduction Scam) declaration: During the posting of this message a further fifty zillion barrels of crude oil spewed out of the BP well into the once-pristine azure waters of the Gulf of Mexico causing a mass extinction level event of marine life – including fish, birds, corals etc.
Allergy warning: This article was written in an oil-infested area and may contain traces of unctuous brown hydrocarbon slime and festering political bullshit mixed with lashings of PR spin and given a final veneer coating of criminal conspiracy.
Thought for the day: Could the dynamic duo of engineering bodge-up geniuses Wallace and Gromit be the answer to solving and curing the BP oil leak?
Thought for tomorrow: Three weeks before the Deepshit Horizon ‘accident’ Scalliburton negotiated the hostile buyout of the world's largest oil-spill cleanup firm Boots & Coots at the exact time financial intelligence agents at Gold in Sacks unloaded 44% of their investment stock in BP – and then something conveniently went ‘BANG!’
Rusty’s Skewed News Views – Purveyors of Bespoke Satire – enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of political incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist lobby.
According to reports in this morning’s copies of the Daily Shitraker and the Scandalmonger’s Gazette – plus a dozen other red top gutter press tabloids - the federal judge who over-ruled and lifted President Barky O’Barmy's six-month drilling moratorium has personal financial interests in Transocean – the owner / operators of the doomed Deepshit Horizon drilling rig responsible for the current Gulf of Mexico oil-belching catastrophe - plus a significant number of other offshore energy companies.
Seymour Scumbaum Feldman, a career kikester and U.S. District Court Judge for the Eastern District of Redneck County, Louisiana, stated for the record when over-ruling the ban “Oil and gas production is quite simply elemental to Gulf communities so let’s not lose sight of our commercial objectives and contracts simply due another ‘minor’ oil spill.”
Hence with human avarice grasping for lucre regardless of consequences, the worshippers of Mammon have opened (or rather drilled a hole into) Pandora’s box by sinking a well into an immense reservoir of abiotic oil and gas capped by a pre-fractured and unstable sea bed geology that’s prerssurised to 100,000 psi by the volcanic magma chamber below.
But Judge Feldman was just looking after the interests of his industry buddies – plus himself – as he has energy stocks in Transocean, Scalliburton and Scumbaum Drilling (no relation) as well as two of BP's largest U.S. private shareholders -- BlackCock and JP Morgan (cut to the) Chase.
Below is a list of stocks from the Scumbaum’s personal oil and gas related portfolio.
JP Morgan Chase, BlackCock; Ocean Energy; NGP Capital Resources; Quicksilver Resources; Hercules Offshore, Provident Energy; Peabody Energy; PenGrowth Energy; RPC Inc.; Atlas Energy Resources; Parker Drilling; TXCO Resources; EV Energy Partners; Rowan Companies; BPZ Resources; El Paso Corp; KBR Inc; Chesapeake Energy and ATP Oil & Gas.
Hmmm, perhaps it’s just me - can anyone else smell a rat around here - or is it the fectal stench of ‘conflict of interest’?
The new Presidential law that Judge Feldman overturned would have halted the approval of any further permits and suspended deepwater drilling at 33 existing exploratory wells in the Gulf of Mexico, four of which are dodgy BP rigs – until some geo-rocket scientist comes up with a method of halting the zillion gallons per day leak of crude from the sea bed caused by BP’s disgraceful lack of initiative and due diligence in ignoring the warnings of the geophysicists regarding the inherent pre-fractured weaknesses of the sub sea strata.
"It's a pretty damning piece of evidence of conflict of interest," claims Betsy Titwank, Vice President for Energy Policy at American Progress. "Transocean is the world's largest offshore drilling company and holds most of the offshore drilling rigs in the world. Now straight after they sabotaged the Deepshit Horizon rig Scumbaum-Feldman is letting them continue drilling in other areas of the Gulf – that’s more fucked up than having a wank with a condom on.”
Thirty-seven of the thirty-eight active or senior judges in key Gulf Coast districts in Louisiana, Texas, Alabama, Mississippi and Florida have links to oil, gas and related energy industries – all of which own substantial amounts of stocks or bonds in these major oil companies they lobby for and return favourable judgements to – including BP, Scalliburton and Transocean.
Thus with the oil and gas industry ties among federal judges being so widespread and corruptly enmeshed, this has jeopardizing a law courts' ability to do routine business in anything resembling an honest fashion.
Meanwhile back at Idiocy Central in Washington, the Environmental Protection Agency has its spin doctors on 24/7 alert to dispel the truth that the Deepshit Horizon rig disaster was a planned scenario to create the cataclysmic mess that is now beginning to manifest itself, with the sub-sea flows burgeoning at such a geometric rate the sea floor will eventually burst in an apocalyptic volcanic type eruption, spewing a blanket of deadly toxic gases that will sweep inland and snuff everyone old enough to cough – immediately followed by an 80 to 120 foot high tsunami radiating out from the Deepshit Horizon drill site – that will definitely wash Florida off the map and also clean out the Cajun country mutants.
Hmmm, and the White House is allowing BP to administer the ‘impossible’ capping of its own sub-sea disaster – and supervise the cleanup with the Coreshite 9500 ‘dispersant’ (nope- not a solvent) that’s ten times more toxic than the crude itself.
A point in fact: stuff using Coreshite 9500 - there are currently 2000 oil skimmers in the United States that could be sailed around to the Gulf and at least attempt to keep on top of the ever-expanding mess of oil plumes.
So, why is this? President O’Barmy’s response was, “We can’t just take these skimmers from other places around the US coastline as they might have an oil spill themselves!” Que – is this guy for real? Oh yes, yet another case of the lunatics being placed in charge of the asylum.
But when BP can choose their own pet judge to adjudicate on all the oil damage lawsuits filed against them then something’s fucked up with a capital F.
Facing more than 100 lawsuits to date following the Deepshit Horizon explosion which killed 11 workers, countless fish, turtles and pelicans, and threatens four coastal states – plus Mexico itself - BP wants to place every pre-trial issue in the hands of a single federal judge in Houston – specifically District Judge Lynn Hughes.
Hughes travels the world giving ‘paid’ lectures on ‘ethics’ for the American Association of Petroleum Geologists, a professional association and research group that is so totally in bed with BP and other oil companies that it constitutes an incestuous relationship.
So, we have parties of oil industry self-interest – their PR propaganda spin doctors - and too the O’Barmy government’s sophistry spinster quacks – spewing out disingenuous optimism with regard to the continuing and unstoppable mega-flow of oil from the fractured seabed - and the cleanup operations.
But the critics are wisely silent and simply point a finger at the burgeoning environmental disaster zone – with nary a one wishing to be labelled a Doomsayer by making mention that the region’s hurricane season has already started.
Hurricane, cyclone, typhoon – they’re all the same ocean-generated ‘divine winds’. In Asia I’ve observed a typhoon blast in from the Pacific, batter the coast and move inland for sixty miles, leaving a visible coating of seawater salt on the ground, buildings and foliage in its wake.
Now, worst case scenario – not only will the next hurricane crossing the Gulf and making landfall from Texan to Florida coat everything with nasty unctuous crude oil but also the super-toxic Coreshite 9500 dispersant chemical. No shit, just wait until that crap gets into the food chain – and your kid’s DNA.
Carbon Credit Cap & Trade Exchange (aka Pollution Reduction Scam) declaration: During the posting of this message a further fifty zillion barrels of crude oil spewed out of the BP well into the once-pristine azure waters of the Gulf of Mexico causing a mass extinction level event of marine life – including fish, birds, corals etc.
Allergy warning: This article was written in an oil-infested area and may contain traces of unctuous brown hydrocarbon slime and festering political bullshit mixed with lashings of PR spin and given a final veneer coating of criminal conspiracy.
Thought for the day: Could the dynamic duo of engineering bodge-up geniuses Wallace and Gromit be the answer to solving and curing the BP oil leak?
Thought for tomorrow: Three weeks before the Deepshit Horizon ‘accident’ Scalliburton negotiated the hostile buyout of the world's largest oil-spill cleanup firm Boots & Coots at the exact time financial intelligence agents at Gold in Sacks unloaded 44% of their investment stock in BP – and then something conveniently went ‘BANG!’
Rusty’s Skewed News Views – Purveyors of Bespoke Satire – enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of political incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist lobby.
New Crapple iPhone 4 Released
Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
More than a billion people were queuing up outside Crapple's flagship London store yesterday for the launch of their all-new iPhone 4, causing massive traffic jams from Regent Street as far back as Wimbledon - with several million yuppie-types sleeping rough overnight in Hyde Park only to end up with tickets to the centre court tennis tournament as they joined the wrong queue.
The phone went on sale at 0700 hours on the 24th June and is smaller and lighter than the old 3GS overheating self-destruct version iPhone.
Crapple CEO Steve Blobbs told one reporter from the Spendthrifts Gazette that the stainless steel body of the handset will act as an antenna and give off one hell of an electric shock if used in the rain – which is apparently now highly recommended by cardio surgeons – as long as the user doesn’t have a pacemaker fitted.
Just to impress the fact that the world has gone totally bonkers, several thousand people started queuing outside the store on Regent Street 24 hours before the phone actually went on sale.
Wayne, a Canadian who works in Dubai for Morons-R-Us, took a seven hour flight to London especially for the launch – then spent the night sleeping on the pavement outside Crapple’s Regent Street branch.
He told a reporter from the Headbangers Weekly that he had become a regular at Crapple events and launches.
"I like meeting other nutters at gigs like this – they’re always full of eccentrics and squirly techie types with more money than sense. Believe me, this new iPhone 4 is orgasmic – better than sex in fact – especially if you’re a die hard wanker who can’t pull the birds - like me.”
In the sales brochures pushing the new unit Crapple claims to have made a number of innovative changes to their iPhone 4 – such as curing them of the old 3 GS handset’s self-destruct tendency which left hundreds with an ear and a couple of fingers missing – plus an unfinished conversation.
Crapple states its plasma screen display and mega-sized battery – which is carried separately in a backpack - gives the phone 40% more talk time - with owners able to browse an iOS 4 / 3G network for over an hour before recharging.
The built-in camera - which came in for criticism for its poor photo quality by cretins who didn’t realise that actual digital still and web cameras were available separately - has also been improved.
Too, it was idiots of a similar ilk that earlier this year condemned the Canon PowerShot SX210 IS camera for having such poor coverage and texting ability on its integral mobile phone component feature.
Did you buy an iPhone 4 or waste your money in like fashion by flying to South Africa to watch the Three Lions team play like a bunch of spastics? What are your impressions so far – should Rooney have an iPhone 4 rammed up his back passage? Do you think Fabio Capello has an iPhone 4? Why does the England team have an Italian manager? Whatever happened to Sven Gore-Tex Eriksson – did his iPhone 3 blow up? Would Alexander Graham Bell queue up to buy an iPhone 4 – or stick with his two cocoa tins and a piece of starched string?
Thought for the day: At US $699 for a 32GB iPhone 4 (Black or White) we’ll stay with the old Nokia housebrick, thank you.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and misaligned references.
More than a billion people were queuing up outside Crapple's flagship London store yesterday for the launch of their all-new iPhone 4, causing massive traffic jams from Regent Street as far back as Wimbledon - with several million yuppie-types sleeping rough overnight in Hyde Park only to end up with tickets to the centre court tennis tournament as they joined the wrong queue.
The phone went on sale at 0700 hours on the 24th June and is smaller and lighter than the old 3GS overheating self-destruct version iPhone.
Crapple CEO Steve Blobbs told one reporter from the Spendthrifts Gazette that the stainless steel body of the handset will act as an antenna and give off one hell of an electric shock if used in the rain – which is apparently now highly recommended by cardio surgeons – as long as the user doesn’t have a pacemaker fitted.
Just to impress the fact that the world has gone totally bonkers, several thousand people started queuing outside the store on Regent Street 24 hours before the phone actually went on sale.
Wayne, a Canadian who works in Dubai for Morons-R-Us, took a seven hour flight to London especially for the launch – then spent the night sleeping on the pavement outside Crapple’s Regent Street branch.
He told a reporter from the Headbangers Weekly that he had become a regular at Crapple events and launches.
"I like meeting other nutters at gigs like this – they’re always full of eccentrics and squirly techie types with more money than sense. Believe me, this new iPhone 4 is orgasmic – better than sex in fact – especially if you’re a die hard wanker who can’t pull the birds - like me.”
In the sales brochures pushing the new unit Crapple claims to have made a number of innovative changes to their iPhone 4 – such as curing them of the old 3 GS handset’s self-destruct tendency which left hundreds with an ear and a couple of fingers missing – plus an unfinished conversation.
Crapple states its plasma screen display and mega-sized battery – which is carried separately in a backpack - gives the phone 40% more talk time - with owners able to browse an iOS 4 / 3G network for over an hour before recharging.
The built-in camera - which came in for criticism for its poor photo quality by cretins who didn’t realise that actual digital still and web cameras were available separately - has also been improved.
Too, it was idiots of a similar ilk that earlier this year condemned the Canon PowerShot SX210 IS camera for having such poor coverage and texting ability on its integral mobile phone component feature.
Did you buy an iPhone 4 or waste your money in like fashion by flying to South Africa to watch the Three Lions team play like a bunch of spastics? What are your impressions so far – should Rooney have an iPhone 4 rammed up his back passage? Do you think Fabio Capello has an iPhone 4? Why does the England team have an Italian manager? Whatever happened to Sven Gore-Tex Eriksson – did his iPhone 3 blow up? Would Alexander Graham Bell queue up to buy an iPhone 4 – or stick with his two cocoa tins and a piece of starched string?
Thought for the day: At US $699 for a 32GB iPhone 4 (Black or White) we’ll stay with the old Nokia housebrick, thank you.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and misaligned references.
Thursday, 24 June 2010
Princess Witchiepoo Marries Peasant
Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
The commoner who got hitched to Sweden's Crown Princess Witchiepoo last weekend might well also have a claim to aristocratic roots, according to an article in this week’s Inbred Mutants Gazette.
Royal suitor Daniel Donkeydork has been mocked by Sweden’s gutter press throughout the courtship for his provincial roots, coarse manners and country yokel accent.
However he has since undergone careful grooming by courtiers ahead of his marriage to the Crown Princess Witchiepoo on June 19. Such included tuition in how to eat with a knife ‘and’ fork, how to use a handkerchief, how to wipe his arse on toilet tissue and not the bathroom mat – plus the strict observation of other such delicate protocols as not dragging his knuckles along the ground while walking upright, nor farting at the dining table, nor scratching one’s arse during the wedding ceremony - or hawking in public then spitting on the carpet.
Sweden's King Carl Gustaf XVI, the bride’s father, was reported to be initially hostile to the idea of his 32-year-old pointy-chinned slapper of a daughter marrying a penniless peasant and producing kids with mongrel genes but had his objections mollified by reports from the Crown Office genealogist Bjorn Burgersbunn that the 36-year-old former farm labourer has historic connections to both Swedish and Norwegian aristocracy.
Apparently Mr Donkeydork can count among his distant relatives members of parliament, courtiers, royal retainers, pikey swan poachers and firewood vendors.
One of Donkeydork's predecessors was a senior back scratcher at the court of the 17th century Swedish King Kuntt IX – plus he can trace lineage back to the aristocratic Quisling family - which means he is distantly related to Vidkunt Quisling, the traitorous Minister President of neighbouring Norway in the 1940’s.
Crown genealogist Burgersbunn explained to the Daily Shitraker "If you look at his ancestors as a whole, they're pretty much a typical lot. There are very few criminal convictions. Someone spent a night in the stocks for buggering a sheep in 1817 and another ancestor was convicted of witchcraft and being drunk in charge of a broomstick."
“Nowadays Donkeydork’s immediate family is of more ordinary standing - his father is a retired benefits cheat and his mother a former award-winning shoplifter.”
The Princess Witchiepoo herself attended the state Enskilda Gymnasiet in Stockholm, graduating in 1996. Following this, she studied Advanced Strapadicktomy for a year at France’s prestigious Institute de Saint Sapphie Dildodo.
During the years 1998–2000, the Princess resided in the United States, where she studied at Dykes University in Connecticut under the tutelage of the famous Russian pole dancer Tekem Orloff and her chief mentor Beverly Titwank – achieving honours degrees in ‘Three Hole Sex’, ‘Advanced Irrumatio’, ‘Interfemoral Masturbation’ and ‘Suck n Swallow Fellatio’.
While being described in European men’s ‘masturbation aid’ magazines as a bit of a two-bagger due her obvious congenital defects including the ‘mango chin’, regardless Witchiepoo is worth what banksters refer to as ‘lots and lots of money’ and carries the title of Witchiepoo Victoria Ingrid Alice Désirée - Crown Princess of Sweden, Duchess of Västergötland – descended from the Royal House of Bernadotte, with a bloodline link to her Danish cousins Rosencrantz and Guildenstern of the House of Hamlet (A Hamlet being a type of gourmet bacon rasher from a very small pig) – hence the Swedish Royal Coat of Arms bearing the conspicuous tin of Spam on an azure background with an escutcheon featuring white and ginger tomcats rampant.
The Daily Shitraker’s Society pages article on the royal wedding concluded “With this bloodline link to the notorious Quisling family hence they are suitably related being cousins fourteen times removed – plus they are also related via marriage and or blood to every other royal lineage in Europe due their centuries of incessant interbreeding which continues to be responsible for the successive generations of hideous mutants they seem to produce as progeny. All in all, a well-suited couple.”
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and misaligned references.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views – Purveyors of Bespoke Satire – enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of political incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist lobby.
The commoner who got hitched to Sweden's Crown Princess Witchiepoo last weekend might well also have a claim to aristocratic roots, according to an article in this week’s Inbred Mutants Gazette.
Royal suitor Daniel Donkeydork has been mocked by Sweden’s gutter press throughout the courtship for his provincial roots, coarse manners and country yokel accent.
However he has since undergone careful grooming by courtiers ahead of his marriage to the Crown Princess Witchiepoo on June 19. Such included tuition in how to eat with a knife ‘and’ fork, how to use a handkerchief, how to wipe his arse on toilet tissue and not the bathroom mat – plus the strict observation of other such delicate protocols as not dragging his knuckles along the ground while walking upright, nor farting at the dining table, nor scratching one’s arse during the wedding ceremony - or hawking in public then spitting on the carpet.
Sweden's King Carl Gustaf XVI, the bride’s father, was reported to be initially hostile to the idea of his 32-year-old pointy-chinned slapper of a daughter marrying a penniless peasant and producing kids with mongrel genes but had his objections mollified by reports from the Crown Office genealogist Bjorn Burgersbunn that the 36-year-old former farm labourer has historic connections to both Swedish and Norwegian aristocracy.
Apparently Mr Donkeydork can count among his distant relatives members of parliament, courtiers, royal retainers, pikey swan poachers and firewood vendors.
One of Donkeydork's predecessors was a senior back scratcher at the court of the 17th century Swedish King Kuntt IX – plus he can trace lineage back to the aristocratic Quisling family - which means he is distantly related to Vidkunt Quisling, the traitorous Minister President of neighbouring Norway in the 1940’s.
Crown genealogist Burgersbunn explained to the Daily Shitraker "If you look at his ancestors as a whole, they're pretty much a typical lot. There are very few criminal convictions. Someone spent a night in the stocks for buggering a sheep in 1817 and another ancestor was convicted of witchcraft and being drunk in charge of a broomstick."
“Nowadays Donkeydork’s immediate family is of more ordinary standing - his father is a retired benefits cheat and his mother a former award-winning shoplifter.”
The Princess Witchiepoo herself attended the state Enskilda Gymnasiet in Stockholm, graduating in 1996. Following this, she studied Advanced Strapadicktomy for a year at France’s prestigious Institute de Saint Sapphie Dildodo.
During the years 1998–2000, the Princess resided in the United States, where she studied at Dykes University in Connecticut under the tutelage of the famous Russian pole dancer Tekem Orloff and her chief mentor Beverly Titwank – achieving honours degrees in ‘Three Hole Sex’, ‘Advanced Irrumatio’, ‘Interfemoral Masturbation’ and ‘Suck n Swallow Fellatio’.
While being described in European men’s ‘masturbation aid’ magazines as a bit of a two-bagger due her obvious congenital defects including the ‘mango chin’, regardless Witchiepoo is worth what banksters refer to as ‘lots and lots of money’ and carries the title of Witchiepoo Victoria Ingrid Alice Désirée - Crown Princess of Sweden, Duchess of Västergötland – descended from the Royal House of Bernadotte, with a bloodline link to her Danish cousins Rosencrantz and Guildenstern of the House of Hamlet (A Hamlet being a type of gourmet bacon rasher from a very small pig) – hence the Swedish Royal Coat of Arms bearing the conspicuous tin of Spam on an azure background with an escutcheon featuring white and ginger tomcats rampant.
The Daily Shitraker’s Society pages article on the royal wedding concluded “With this bloodline link to the notorious Quisling family hence they are suitably related being cousins fourteen times removed – plus they are also related via marriage and or blood to every other royal lineage in Europe due their centuries of incessant interbreeding which continues to be responsible for the successive generations of hideous mutants they seem to produce as progeny. All in all, a well-suited couple.”
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and misaligned references.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views – Purveyors of Bespoke Satire – enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of political incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist lobby.
Canuck PM Harper: #1 Kikester Stooge
Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
Canadian Slime Minister Stephen Harper, who long ago pawned his moral franchise to dark and sinister forces, this week went into one of his customary Hitleresque style frenzied barking and spitting attacks as he castigated NDP House leader Libby Davies in a vehement diatribe after she questioned the outlaw state of Israel’s right to claim Palestine as ‘their’ country considering the 'outlaw refugee' manner they stole it via force of arms and mass bloodshed in 1948 from the rightful historic owners – the Palestinians.
Harper turned on Ms Davies, referring to her as an anti-Semite extremist and then compared her to the Nazi Propaganda Minister Joseph Goebells – finally going totally overboard with his fanatical fractured logic by labelling her a Holohoax denier and a self-hating LGBT dyke rug-muncher – and a Presbyterian.
Harper, a career sycophantic toady and apologist for the Zionist rogue state, has become infamous for his oddball zealous support for the criminal regime running the Knesset regardless of how many children the IDF blast to smithereens in Gaza – or the number of Turkish freedom flotillas they attack – or the bad press such actions generate even in the shylock-owned media. Hence his well deserved and derogatory ‘Israel First – Canada Second’ reputation.
Yet, the truth be known, the Canuck-based Bronfman crime family consortium, in collusion with Abe Foxman’s Anti-Defamation League, have long had Harper by the balls for his past blackmailable criminal offences of kiddie fiddling and other assorted ‘indiscretions’ involving dodgy single-sourced government contracts and outright bribes – plus a reputation for frequenting the company of celebrity sexual perverts and sodomites of various persuasions.
In his asinine verbal assault on Libby Davies, Harper showed his true colours as a lickspittle political whore and a hypocrite when he compared her to Helen Thomas, the long-time Shite House correspondent who was forced to resign recently over controversial remarks about Israel – thanks to Barky O’Barmy’s Kikester-in-Chief Rahm Emanuel – who, alike Harper, is totally brainwashed to promulgate the disingenuous Children of the Covenant myth and refusal to recognize Palestine's right to exist.
Harper’s sophistry led him to demand that her boss, NDP Leader Jack McScrunt, fire Ms. Davies, a Vancouver MP, who is also the party’s deputy leader, over the remarks she made that questioned Israel’s right to exist during an interview at an anti-Israel protest earlier this month.
Her comments, also published in the Intifada Gazette, quite factually state that the Israeli occupation of Palestine began in 1948 and only continues to this day due the kikester-controlled politicians of the West, such as Harper himself, being career Israeli apologists who have accepted ‘tainted coin’ and are forever besmeared with the blood of innocent Palestinian children.
Always a problem with the Truth. While, unlike lies, it never fears exposure to the light of day, its exacting presence is oft an embarrassment.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and misaligned references.
Canadian Slime Minister Stephen Harper, who long ago pawned his moral franchise to dark and sinister forces, this week went into one of his customary Hitleresque style frenzied barking and spitting attacks as he castigated NDP House leader Libby Davies in a vehement diatribe after she questioned the outlaw state of Israel’s right to claim Palestine as ‘their’ country considering the 'outlaw refugee' manner they stole it via force of arms and mass bloodshed in 1948 from the rightful historic owners – the Palestinians.
Harper turned on Ms Davies, referring to her as an anti-Semite extremist and then compared her to the Nazi Propaganda Minister Joseph Goebells – finally going totally overboard with his fanatical fractured logic by labelling her a Holohoax denier and a self-hating LGBT dyke rug-muncher – and a Presbyterian.
Harper, a career sycophantic toady and apologist for the Zionist rogue state, has become infamous for his oddball zealous support for the criminal regime running the Knesset regardless of how many children the IDF blast to smithereens in Gaza – or the number of Turkish freedom flotillas they attack – or the bad press such actions generate even in the shylock-owned media. Hence his well deserved and derogatory ‘Israel First – Canada Second’ reputation.
Yet, the truth be known, the Canuck-based Bronfman crime family consortium, in collusion with Abe Foxman’s Anti-Defamation League, have long had Harper by the balls for his past blackmailable criminal offences of kiddie fiddling and other assorted ‘indiscretions’ involving dodgy single-sourced government contracts and outright bribes – plus a reputation for frequenting the company of celebrity sexual perverts and sodomites of various persuasions.
In his asinine verbal assault on Libby Davies, Harper showed his true colours as a lickspittle political whore and a hypocrite when he compared her to Helen Thomas, the long-time Shite House correspondent who was forced to resign recently over controversial remarks about Israel – thanks to Barky O’Barmy’s Kikester-in-Chief Rahm Emanuel – who, alike Harper, is totally brainwashed to promulgate the disingenuous Children of the Covenant myth and refusal to recognize Palestine's right to exist.
Harper’s sophistry led him to demand that her boss, NDP Leader Jack McScrunt, fire Ms. Davies, a Vancouver MP, who is also the party’s deputy leader, over the remarks she made that questioned Israel’s right to exist during an interview at an anti-Israel protest earlier this month.
Her comments, also published in the Intifada Gazette, quite factually state that the Israeli occupation of Palestine began in 1948 and only continues to this day due the kikester-controlled politicians of the West, such as Harper himself, being career Israeli apologists who have accepted ‘tainted coin’ and are forever besmeared with the blood of innocent Palestinian children.
Always a problem with the Truth. While, unlike lies, it never fears exposure to the light of day, its exacting presence is oft an embarrassment.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and misaligned references.
Wednesday, 23 June 2010
Bus Driver Ousts Rowdy Kid & Preggers Mum
Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
A 15-year old pregnant mother of three told a reporter from the Daily Shitraker that she was forced to get off a bus after the driver became distracted and annoyed by her hyper-active toddler's ‘temper tantrum’ behaviour.
Chantelle McSlagg related to gutter press hacks of how she was told by the driver to keep her two-year-old sprog Troy quiet and under control on the number 666 bus servicing the route between Kuntsborough and Shitford-on-Sea in Smegmashire.
Ms McSlagg claims they were then literally thrown off the bus more than a mile from her stop because she failed to heed the driver's warning.
“Yeah yer know like, we’d just bin down ter the effin’ welfare office in Shitford ter get me DSS benefits giro an’ here’s me loaded down ter the effin’ gills wiv the week’s shoppin’ from Pound Stretcher as well as little Troy in his bleedin’ push chair an’ three heavy bags of Meths Breezers an’ Lambert an’ Butler ciggies an’ big packs of assorted Wanker’s crisps fer the kid’s dinners.”
“Then this knobhead of a driver kicks us off his effin’ bus just cos Troy threw a wobbler an’ spit the dummy cos he was pissed off wiv sittin’ in his push chair an’ I wouldn’t let him have a ciggy or a slurp of the booze til we got home like.”
“So then he wanted ter play wiv his Bob the Builder chain saw wot I got fer him fer Christmas. Okay, maybe it woz a bit smokey an’ noisy when he started it up but all he did woz chop a bit of an effin’ hole in the bus floor wiv it and the driver loses his rag and’ stops the bus an’ shouts – all politically-incorrect like – “Piss off Missus - an’ take that little twat wiv yer!”- an’ that’s not on, callin’ our Troy a little twat – even if he is one.”
The alleged incident happened last Tuesday as part-time pole dancer Chantelle McSlagg, who is six months pregnant with her fourth child, was heading home to the Slumdale Hamlets housing estate following their Shitford-on-Sea excursion.
She got on the bus with the two-year old Troy who was apparently cranky and suffering the effects of a hangover from slurping a couple of cans of his father’s 8% Bitch Thumper lager the previous night while his parents were down the pub watching the pit bull tournament finals on Dogfight Challenge.
Conversely, the bus driver Ghengis O’Moloch told reporters “Just take a butcher’s at the on-board CCTV footage and listen to the audio – they speak volumes and justify my actions in turfing the pair of them off the bus just after the Asbo Gardens roundabout.”
Chantelle’s partner Wayne, 26, an unemployed skateboard mechanic, told a commentator from Channel 69’s ‘Yobsters Review’ “I gets this phone call on me mobile wot wakes me up and it’s Chantelle an she sez “Yer gotta get yer effin’ arse outa bed an’ go an’ nick a car an’ come an’ pick me an’ Troy up from opposite Asbo Gardens cos we’ve just got our arses chucked off the bus.”
“So there I am at 2 o’clock in the afternoon goin’ out in a black tracksuit wiv the hood up ter rip a motor off ter go an’ pick her and that little twat Troy up – an’ in total breach of me effin’ probation agreement.”
Have you ever been thrown off a bus for chain saw vandalism? Do you think Asbo-proof buses should be made available and driven by mindless robots instead of mindless lard-arsed sub-human drivers? Do you agree that the offspring of shit-for-brains parents should be reared in incubators until they’re 14 years old then conscripted to the 21s Cannon Fodder Regiment or the 16th Body Bag Battalion in Afghanistan?
* Carbon Credit Cap & Trade Exchange (aka Pollution Reduction Scam) declaration: No trees, fish, cormorants, bumble bees or small furry mammals were harmed in posting this message. However, a large number of bus drivers were temporarily pissed off.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and misaligned references.
Thought for the day: If a bear shits on the bus will it get tossed off?
Rusty’s Skewed News Views – Purveyors of Bespoke Satire – enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of political incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist lobby.
A 15-year old pregnant mother of three told a reporter from the Daily Shitraker that she was forced to get off a bus after the driver became distracted and annoyed by her hyper-active toddler's ‘temper tantrum’ behaviour.
Chantelle McSlagg related to gutter press hacks of how she was told by the driver to keep her two-year-old sprog Troy quiet and under control on the number 666 bus servicing the route between Kuntsborough and Shitford-on-Sea in Smegmashire.
Ms McSlagg claims they were then literally thrown off the bus more than a mile from her stop because she failed to heed the driver's warning.
“Yeah yer know like, we’d just bin down ter the effin’ welfare office in Shitford ter get me DSS benefits giro an’ here’s me loaded down ter the effin’ gills wiv the week’s shoppin’ from Pound Stretcher as well as little Troy in his bleedin’ push chair an’ three heavy bags of Meths Breezers an’ Lambert an’ Butler ciggies an’ big packs of assorted Wanker’s crisps fer the kid’s dinners.”
“Then this knobhead of a driver kicks us off his effin’ bus just cos Troy threw a wobbler an’ spit the dummy cos he was pissed off wiv sittin’ in his push chair an’ I wouldn’t let him have a ciggy or a slurp of the booze til we got home like.”
“So then he wanted ter play wiv his Bob the Builder chain saw wot I got fer him fer Christmas. Okay, maybe it woz a bit smokey an’ noisy when he started it up but all he did woz chop a bit of an effin’ hole in the bus floor wiv it and the driver loses his rag and’ stops the bus an’ shouts – all politically-incorrect like – “Piss off Missus - an’ take that little twat wiv yer!”- an’ that’s not on, callin’ our Troy a little twat – even if he is one.”
The alleged incident happened last Tuesday as part-time pole dancer Chantelle McSlagg, who is six months pregnant with her fourth child, was heading home to the Slumdale Hamlets housing estate following their Shitford-on-Sea excursion.
She got on the bus with the two-year old Troy who was apparently cranky and suffering the effects of a hangover from slurping a couple of cans of his father’s 8% Bitch Thumper lager the previous night while his parents were down the pub watching the pit bull tournament finals on Dogfight Challenge.
Conversely, the bus driver Ghengis O’Moloch told reporters “Just take a butcher’s at the on-board CCTV footage and listen to the audio – they speak volumes and justify my actions in turfing the pair of them off the bus just after the Asbo Gardens roundabout.”
Chantelle’s partner Wayne, 26, an unemployed skateboard mechanic, told a commentator from Channel 69’s ‘Yobsters Review’ “I gets this phone call on me mobile wot wakes me up and it’s Chantelle an she sez “Yer gotta get yer effin’ arse outa bed an’ go an’ nick a car an’ come an’ pick me an’ Troy up from opposite Asbo Gardens cos we’ve just got our arses chucked off the bus.”
“So there I am at 2 o’clock in the afternoon goin’ out in a black tracksuit wiv the hood up ter rip a motor off ter go an’ pick her and that little twat Troy up – an’ in total breach of me effin’ probation agreement.”
Have you ever been thrown off a bus for chain saw vandalism? Do you think Asbo-proof buses should be made available and driven by mindless robots instead of mindless lard-arsed sub-human drivers? Do you agree that the offspring of shit-for-brains parents should be reared in incubators until they’re 14 years old then conscripted to the 21s Cannon Fodder Regiment or the 16th Body Bag Battalion in Afghanistan?
* Carbon Credit Cap & Trade Exchange (aka Pollution Reduction Scam) declaration: No trees, fish, cormorants, bumble bees or small furry mammals were harmed in posting this message. However, a large number of bus drivers were temporarily pissed off.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and misaligned references.
Thought for the day: If a bear shits on the bus will it get tossed off?
Rusty’s Skewed News Views – Purveyors of Bespoke Satire – enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of political incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist lobby.
Greedy Grocers Join Anti-Labelling Lobby
Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
A legion of food companies including the UK’s Greedy Grocer supermarket chains of Pestco, Pukesburys, Shiteland and Mamon & Snobfords are in the process of lashing out £50 zillion quid to kill off a system of 'traffic light' warning labels that would help customers identify unhealthy products.
Doctors, veterinarians and consumer groups maintain the labelling is vital to helping families with the collective IQ of a flock of sheep to choose a healthy diet and avoid products high in fat, sugar, salt and depleted uranium – and a host of other carcinogenic nasties that have proved to play havoc with both the mental and physical aspects of human physiology.
The gospel according to research by the Food Standards Agency and consumer group Which Shit? shoppers support the red, amber and green colour coding on the front of packs so they know what to feed Granny so she kicks the bucket in the not too distant future and stops her shitting on the patio – plus what ‘not’ to feed the kids so they don’t get hyper on aspartame and other toxic sweeteners and go around setting fire to pensioners.
Conversely, food giants, including Pestco, Crapsi-Cola and Bollogg's, have spent tens of zillions of pounds on a vast lobbying campaign to put an end to the scheme, fearing the regime - that would force them to put red warnings on their currently best-selling sugary drinks and salty snacks - would hit sales and profits as soon as the shit-for brains public found out that eating such crap was the reason they had high blood pressure, chronic depression and cancerous tumours the size of duckeggs.
Processed food industry bosses will learn early next week if their campaign has succeeded with a vote on the future of European food and nutrition labelling by the EUSSR Parliament’s Ministry for Graft & Corruption.
However, consumer organisations fear MEPs will bow to the pressure of such attractive bribes and reject the traffic lights scheme in favour of an industry dodge that will leave things more or less as they are already – totally fucked up.
The Brussels-based European consumer group LARD-ARSES claims the traffic lights labelling system is a vital tool to help cope with rising levels of obesity and diet-orientated medical complaints – with the Director-General, Fellattia van der Gamm telling one reporter from the Fat Twats Review “Consumers have a right to clear and easy colour code labelling to understand information on packaging and to realise how much toxins they’re pouring – or shovelling – down their dumb-arsed red necks.”
“At a time when four out of five Europeans are fatter than a beached whale, there should exist a sound reason to empower individuals to improve their diets before they end up with blood the thickness of ketchup and a massive coronary or a brain-bursting stroke.”
Alas, certain critics claim this simply constitutes yet another intrusion into the public’s free will domain and if consumers don’t possess the common sense to realise that the secret to healthy nutrition simply lies in moderation, then they deserve to die. So, that’s the answer – Moderation.
Well, on reflection, the gospel according to the ancient maxims of Bud Wiser – Buddha’s elder brother states – “Everything in moderation – including Moderation.”
Allergy warning: This article was written in a nut-infested area and may contain traces of high cholesterol lunacy.
A legion of food companies including the UK’s Greedy Grocer supermarket chains of Pestco, Pukesburys, Shiteland and Mamon & Snobfords are in the process of lashing out £50 zillion quid to kill off a system of 'traffic light' warning labels that would help customers identify unhealthy products.
Doctors, veterinarians and consumer groups maintain the labelling is vital to helping families with the collective IQ of a flock of sheep to choose a healthy diet and avoid products high in fat, sugar, salt and depleted uranium – and a host of other carcinogenic nasties that have proved to play havoc with both the mental and physical aspects of human physiology.
The gospel according to research by the Food Standards Agency and consumer group Which Shit? shoppers support the red, amber and green colour coding on the front of packs so they know what to feed Granny so she kicks the bucket in the not too distant future and stops her shitting on the patio – plus what ‘not’ to feed the kids so they don’t get hyper on aspartame and other toxic sweeteners and go around setting fire to pensioners.
Conversely, food giants, including Pestco, Crapsi-Cola and Bollogg's, have spent tens of zillions of pounds on a vast lobbying campaign to put an end to the scheme, fearing the regime - that would force them to put red warnings on their currently best-selling sugary drinks and salty snacks - would hit sales and profits as soon as the shit-for brains public found out that eating such crap was the reason they had high blood pressure, chronic depression and cancerous tumours the size of duckeggs.
Processed food industry bosses will learn early next week if their campaign has succeeded with a vote on the future of European food and nutrition labelling by the EUSSR Parliament’s Ministry for Graft & Corruption.
However, consumer organisations fear MEPs will bow to the pressure of such attractive bribes and reject the traffic lights scheme in favour of an industry dodge that will leave things more or less as they are already – totally fucked up.
The Brussels-based European consumer group LARD-ARSES claims the traffic lights labelling system is a vital tool to help cope with rising levels of obesity and diet-orientated medical complaints – with the Director-General, Fellattia van der Gamm telling one reporter from the Fat Twats Review “Consumers have a right to clear and easy colour code labelling to understand information on packaging and to realise how much toxins they’re pouring – or shovelling – down their dumb-arsed red necks.”
“At a time when four out of five Europeans are fatter than a beached whale, there should exist a sound reason to empower individuals to improve their diets before they end up with blood the thickness of ketchup and a massive coronary or a brain-bursting stroke.”
Alas, certain critics claim this simply constitutes yet another intrusion into the public’s free will domain and if consumers don’t possess the common sense to realise that the secret to healthy nutrition simply lies in moderation, then they deserve to die. So, that’s the answer – Moderation.
Well, on reflection, the gospel according to the ancient maxims of Bud Wiser – Buddha’s elder brother states – “Everything in moderation – including Moderation.”
Allergy warning: This article was written in a nut-infested area and may contain traces of high cholesterol lunacy.
Tuesday, 22 June 2010
A Nuclear 9/11 - Will the Kikesters Go That Far?
Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
Whenever the Masonic-Illuminati-controlled criminals currently running the illegal State of Israel Corporation franchise get the nudge that it’s time to advance the Protocols of Zion agenda a couple of notches to achieve domination of not only the Middle East but the entire region of Central Asia (er - they already control the EUSSR and the United States of AIPAC) – they reach into their big bag of dirty tricks and something nasty goes BANG! with a large capital B – and the CCTV cameras capture some convenient conjured footage of Mohammed bin Patsy up to his usual tricks again.
Seriously, for a supposed super-smart intelligence organisation, Mossad’s false flag op’s are getting pretty hackneyed. Some fantasy land Jolly Jihad terrorist group with no planning ability, no logistics and no influence or history of being able to move men or materials, show up on doctored CCTV tapes - getting pissed in a lap dancing bar, buying return tickets for their suicide trip – and leaving Korans and “Suicide Vests for Dummies” manuals lying around in hire cars.
New York, Bali, Jakarta, Madrid, London, Mumbai, Detroit or Dubai – plus countless times inside Iraq and Afghanistan.
The false flag signature is always the same, with these ‘terrorist’ attacks occurring on some propitious occult date – 9/11, 12/10, 3/11, 7/7, 26/11 – and all timed perfectly to advance the Rothshite’s Satanic New World Order agenda.
So, with the word on the street from those in the know, these foul and foreign Islamic terrorist who hate our Democratic freedoms so much they could spit, now have access to one or mores dirty nukes and are planning to detonate it / them in some European and / or hapless North American city. Thus, with ‘three’ stolen nuclear weapons in play, 50 kiloton devices machined at Dimona and Yodefat, and assembled in 1975 at Pelindaba in South Africa by Israeli technicians mentoring their ultra-apartheid Boer counterparts, we have cause again to pause and ponder “Would Israel actually go this far?”
Well, according to the dark and sinister precepts of Game Theory we have to raise that inevitable question - would the kikesters be prepared to – even dare to - go that far? And the answer is - Absolutely. Definitely. Of course they would – without one moment’s hesitation or reflection on consequences – or moral dilemmas concerning the mass slaughter of their goyim victims. They didn’t exhibit any reticence or compunctions over exploding a false flag micro-nuke in the monsoon drain outside the Kuta Beach-based Sari Club in Bali in 2002 to galvanise the Aussies into joining their Coalition of the Coerced in Operation Never-Ending Warfare against the Islamic states of Afghanistan and Iraq. Nor will they over detonating a strategic 50 kiloton nuclear device in a major Western city.
It’s all part of their sick psychotic paranoid nihilistic mindset. To them it’s just ‘business as usual’ – yet another false flag op’ to blame on the hapless Muslim Jihadists patsies and thus advance their insidious agenda. No matter if it’s C4 going Ka-Boom! under passenger trains in Madrid or London’s Tube system – or a micro-nuke in a Balinese storm drain – or under a Jakarta hotel lobby, or super-thermate slicing the I-beams of the WTC Towers 1 and 2 – or a chain of micro-nukes exploding in a 'vertical down / series parallel' detonation pattern along the tower’s central steel cores – or a directed energy scalar beam weapon turning the concrete into a fountain of talcum powder via molecular dissociation.
This ultra-nationalist brazen hubris that manifests itself as ‘Kikesterism’ has evolved around a Hobbesian ‘State of Nature’ philosophy since 1948 and seen them become ignorant of, and unhampered by, any and all of the legal, moral and ethical restrictions that govern civilised societies.
The three stolen nukes from Pelindaba are part of the original ten weapons, Uranium-235 based, machined in Dimona and Yodefat, then assembled by shylock technicians in South Africa. The first one was tested on 22nd September 1979 in the Indian Ocean and the blast picked up by an array of seismic sensors and satellites.
Israel’s AIPAC lobby in the US suppressed any official negative reaction and kept the story out of the yidster-owned press and media. However the story of these illicit nuclear weapons is now a well established fact within international intelligence network circles and, as usual, all roads lead back to Yodefat and Mossad.
Hence with this entire controversy being the subject matter of a recent speech by President Barky ‘Teleprompter’ O’Barmy concerning South Africa’s rejection of a nuclear capability, then denial is a waste of time. But what the Kenyan cuckoo wasn’t made aware of when he thanked SA for destroying these weapons is that three of them went AWOL – following their top secret shipment from Pelindaba to Oman – after being paid for and compensated by the British Thatcher Conservative government of the day, and accompanied to Muscat by guess who?
Why, none other than Dr David Kelly – he of the Weapons of Mass Distraction dodgy dossier fame whom unfortunately succumbed to a fatal attack of assisted suicide in the Grassy Knoll Woods near his Oxfordshire home in 2003 – right after the criminally illegal invasion of Iraq kicked off big time.
Alas, perhaps the only honest man to be mentioned in this farrago of disingenuous deceits and blatant lies - Dr. David Kelly - the man who knew too much!
Kelly was the technician who authenticated and certified the provenance and destructive capacity of these three battlefield-ready nuclear devices and oversaw their purchase. Further it was his purview and responsibility to babysit and ensure their safe sea voyage in three separate containers from Durban to Oman. Receive them, prove their fissionable capability, check their status upon arrival and sign them off as having arrived in Oman in an ‘intact’ condition and therein placed in ‘private storage’.
Nuclear weapons – in ‘private storage’ – and the rogue state of Israel involved? Little wonder Dr Kelly had an axe to grind with Tony Bliar & Co concerning WMD – and little wonder he ended up ‘Grassy Knolled’.
Thus while six weapons were shipped to the US and ‘purportedly’ dismantled, three were in British hands but were reported to have been hijacked and stolen from the ‘private storage’ facility in Oman by Saddam Hussein’s Mukhabarat and later passed on to the Assad’s in Syria - hence the concocted reason for the invasion of Iraq. A kikester lie that finally killed off Israel’s main rival for military hegemony in the Mid-East region – and the same lie responsible for the deaths of 5,000 American troops. But like all lies, if told often enough, will eventually replace the Truth – that the nukes had ended up in Israel all along, for the past 18 years.
Hence, with the 9/11 Truth Movement breathing down the Barky O’Barmy administration’s – and too Tel Aviv’s - necks concerning Israeli involvement with the 9/11 terrorist attacks – (for wherever one turns on this issue there were kikesters by the score involved – from Larry Silverslime to Mossad’s hi-fivers ‘recording the event’ to Israeli ‘art students’ carrying out building modifications to WTC Towers 1 and 2 in the weeks prior to the Al Qaeda ‘attack’) – we are reaching a star-crossed situation wherein another major false flag operation is required to distract the world’s eyes away from the starving beleaguered population of Gaza and IDF pirate attacks on freedom flotillas, and Hamas members dead in Dubai hotels rooms, and counterfeit European passports used by Mossad’s assassins.
Yep, divert public focus and attentions away from their crimes against humanity – and onto the next terrorist travesty carried out by Muslim Jihadist patsies against the West to refresh the Christian public’s hatreds against – and to further demonise – Islam and its adherents.
“America’s a sitting duck – Hezbollah has nukes from Iran – We need to attack them first.” These are the scaremongering fairy stories, the daily fabrications, that the Israeli security forces feed America’s intelligence network and mainstream media via the likes of ultra-kikester Rita Katz of the Maryland-based private intelligence group cum Mossad propaganda front ‘SITE’ (Search for International Terrorist Entities).
Then we have a myriad of Israeli propaganda assets in the US, such as the shylock apologists O’Barmy, Biden and McCain and 15 yidster Senators – including Schumer, Kohl, Lieberman, backed by 34 yidster Congressmen - to the emaciated Michael Chertoff, chief of Homeland Insecurity, to the Shite House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel, to the Khazar kike storytellers of Hollywood - the fiction of a rogue Al Qaeda dirty nuke has been firmly planted in the minds of every American – and too European - unable to think for themselves.
Now, with the Sentinels of Conscience of the world issuing International Arrest Warrants against the war criminals running Israel it is getting time to worry, for rabid dogs driven mad and cornered have a habit of biting any and all. Just wait for a series of big bangs and the inevitable mushroom clouds – coming soon to a city near you - courtesy of God's Chosen people.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views – Purveyors of Bespoke Satire – enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of political incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist lobby.
Whenever the Masonic-Illuminati-controlled criminals currently running the illegal State of Israel Corporation franchise get the nudge that it’s time to advance the Protocols of Zion agenda a couple of notches to achieve domination of not only the Middle East but the entire region of Central Asia (er - they already control the EUSSR and the United States of AIPAC) – they reach into their big bag of dirty tricks and something nasty goes BANG! with a large capital B – and the CCTV cameras capture some convenient conjured footage of Mohammed bin Patsy up to his usual tricks again.
Seriously, for a supposed super-smart intelligence organisation, Mossad’s false flag op’s are getting pretty hackneyed. Some fantasy land Jolly Jihad terrorist group with no planning ability, no logistics and no influence or history of being able to move men or materials, show up on doctored CCTV tapes - getting pissed in a lap dancing bar, buying return tickets for their suicide trip – and leaving Korans and “Suicide Vests for Dummies” manuals lying around in hire cars.
New York, Bali, Jakarta, Madrid, London, Mumbai, Detroit or Dubai – plus countless times inside Iraq and Afghanistan.
The false flag signature is always the same, with these ‘terrorist’ attacks occurring on some propitious occult date – 9/11, 12/10, 3/11, 7/7, 26/11 – and all timed perfectly to advance the Rothshite’s Satanic New World Order agenda.
So, with the word on the street from those in the know, these foul and foreign Islamic terrorist who hate our Democratic freedoms so much they could spit, now have access to one or mores dirty nukes and are planning to detonate it / them in some European and / or hapless North American city. Thus, with ‘three’ stolen nuclear weapons in play, 50 kiloton devices machined at Dimona and Yodefat, and assembled in 1975 at Pelindaba in South Africa by Israeli technicians mentoring their ultra-apartheid Boer counterparts, we have cause again to pause and ponder “Would Israel actually go this far?”
Well, according to the dark and sinister precepts of Game Theory we have to raise that inevitable question - would the kikesters be prepared to – even dare to - go that far? And the answer is - Absolutely. Definitely. Of course they would – without one moment’s hesitation or reflection on consequences – or moral dilemmas concerning the mass slaughter of their goyim victims. They didn’t exhibit any reticence or compunctions over exploding a false flag micro-nuke in the monsoon drain outside the Kuta Beach-based Sari Club in Bali in 2002 to galvanise the Aussies into joining their Coalition of the Coerced in Operation Never-Ending Warfare against the Islamic states of Afghanistan and Iraq. Nor will they over detonating a strategic 50 kiloton nuclear device in a major Western city.
It’s all part of their sick psychotic paranoid nihilistic mindset. To them it’s just ‘business as usual’ – yet another false flag op’ to blame on the hapless Muslim Jihadists patsies and thus advance their insidious agenda. No matter if it’s C4 going Ka-Boom! under passenger trains in Madrid or London’s Tube system – or a micro-nuke in a Balinese storm drain – or under a Jakarta hotel lobby, or super-thermate slicing the I-beams of the WTC Towers 1 and 2 – or a chain of micro-nukes exploding in a 'vertical down / series parallel' detonation pattern along the tower’s central steel cores – or a directed energy scalar beam weapon turning the concrete into a fountain of talcum powder via molecular dissociation.
This ultra-nationalist brazen hubris that manifests itself as ‘Kikesterism’ has evolved around a Hobbesian ‘State of Nature’ philosophy since 1948 and seen them become ignorant of, and unhampered by, any and all of the legal, moral and ethical restrictions that govern civilised societies.
The three stolen nukes from Pelindaba are part of the original ten weapons, Uranium-235 based, machined in Dimona and Yodefat, then assembled by shylock technicians in South Africa. The first one was tested on 22nd September 1979 in the Indian Ocean and the blast picked up by an array of seismic sensors and satellites.
Israel’s AIPAC lobby in the US suppressed any official negative reaction and kept the story out of the yidster-owned press and media. However the story of these illicit nuclear weapons is now a well established fact within international intelligence network circles and, as usual, all roads lead back to Yodefat and Mossad.
Hence with this entire controversy being the subject matter of a recent speech by President Barky ‘Teleprompter’ O’Barmy concerning South Africa’s rejection of a nuclear capability, then denial is a waste of time. But what the Kenyan cuckoo wasn’t made aware of when he thanked SA for destroying these weapons is that three of them went AWOL – following their top secret shipment from Pelindaba to Oman – after being paid for and compensated by the British Thatcher Conservative government of the day, and accompanied to Muscat by guess who?
Why, none other than Dr David Kelly – he of the Weapons of Mass Distraction dodgy dossier fame whom unfortunately succumbed to a fatal attack of assisted suicide in the Grassy Knoll Woods near his Oxfordshire home in 2003 – right after the criminally illegal invasion of Iraq kicked off big time.
Alas, perhaps the only honest man to be mentioned in this farrago of disingenuous deceits and blatant lies - Dr. David Kelly - the man who knew too much!
Kelly was the technician who authenticated and certified the provenance and destructive capacity of these three battlefield-ready nuclear devices and oversaw their purchase. Further it was his purview and responsibility to babysit and ensure their safe sea voyage in three separate containers from Durban to Oman. Receive them, prove their fissionable capability, check their status upon arrival and sign them off as having arrived in Oman in an ‘intact’ condition and therein placed in ‘private storage’.
Nuclear weapons – in ‘private storage’ – and the rogue state of Israel involved? Little wonder Dr Kelly had an axe to grind with Tony Bliar & Co concerning WMD – and little wonder he ended up ‘Grassy Knolled’.
Thus while six weapons were shipped to the US and ‘purportedly’ dismantled, three were in British hands but were reported to have been hijacked and stolen from the ‘private storage’ facility in Oman by Saddam Hussein’s Mukhabarat and later passed on to the Assad’s in Syria - hence the concocted reason for the invasion of Iraq. A kikester lie that finally killed off Israel’s main rival for military hegemony in the Mid-East region – and the same lie responsible for the deaths of 5,000 American troops. But like all lies, if told often enough, will eventually replace the Truth – that the nukes had ended up in Israel all along, for the past 18 years.
Hence, with the 9/11 Truth Movement breathing down the Barky O’Barmy administration’s – and too Tel Aviv’s - necks concerning Israeli involvement with the 9/11 terrorist attacks – (for wherever one turns on this issue there were kikesters by the score involved – from Larry Silverslime to Mossad’s hi-fivers ‘recording the event’ to Israeli ‘art students’ carrying out building modifications to WTC Towers 1 and 2 in the weeks prior to the Al Qaeda ‘attack’) – we are reaching a star-crossed situation wherein another major false flag operation is required to distract the world’s eyes away from the starving beleaguered population of Gaza and IDF pirate attacks on freedom flotillas, and Hamas members dead in Dubai hotels rooms, and counterfeit European passports used by Mossad’s assassins.
Yep, divert public focus and attentions away from their crimes against humanity – and onto the next terrorist travesty carried out by Muslim Jihadist patsies against the West to refresh the Christian public’s hatreds against – and to further demonise – Islam and its adherents.
“America’s a sitting duck – Hezbollah has nukes from Iran – We need to attack them first.” These are the scaremongering fairy stories, the daily fabrications, that the Israeli security forces feed America’s intelligence network and mainstream media via the likes of ultra-kikester Rita Katz of the Maryland-based private intelligence group cum Mossad propaganda front ‘SITE’ (Search for International Terrorist Entities).
Then we have a myriad of Israeli propaganda assets in the US, such as the shylock apologists O’Barmy, Biden and McCain and 15 yidster Senators – including Schumer, Kohl, Lieberman, backed by 34 yidster Congressmen - to the emaciated Michael Chertoff, chief of Homeland Insecurity, to the Shite House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel, to the Khazar kike storytellers of Hollywood - the fiction of a rogue Al Qaeda dirty nuke has been firmly planted in the minds of every American – and too European - unable to think for themselves.
Now, with the Sentinels of Conscience of the world issuing International Arrest Warrants against the war criminals running Israel it is getting time to worry, for rabid dogs driven mad and cornered have a habit of biting any and all. Just wait for a series of big bangs and the inevitable mushroom clouds – coming soon to a city near you - courtesy of God's Chosen people.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views – Purveyors of Bespoke Satire – enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of political incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist lobby.
‘Jones the Bomb’ Blows up School
Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
A teacher in Welsh Wales who planted a bomb in the school where he worked, blasting it to smithereens, has received a police caution and a 30 hour Community Service Order from the court after he explained that it all started out as a joke.
Apparently there had been a bomb hoax call to the police the previous week from someone – thought to be a Year 6 male pupil - claiming to be Mohammed bin Hughes and a member of an ultra-radical Llandudno-based Jihadist group calling themselves the Islamic Front for the Liberation of Betws-y-Coed.
The evening after the hoax call, following which the school had been evacuated and searched by police, the teaching staff were downing a few pints of Old Headbanger and Bitch Thumper at their local Scallies Arms and inadvertently discussed what a good thing it would have been if the school was blown up by terrorists as it presented a dilapidated ruin that was scheduled to be demolished and a new one built in its place over three years previously by the disingenuous Labour government of the day.
This apparently gave Chemistry teacher Owen Fawkes-Jones the idea to build a real bomb and plant it in the school cellars - next to the rat-infested boiler room.
The explosive device, comprised of a second-hand Plutonium 239 nuclear core bought from a Ukraine-based home appliances dealer on E-Bay, was detonated in the early hours of the morning – levelling the entire structure with the only loss of life being the school’s rodent population.
Post-explosion, the next morning Mr Fawkes-Jones muffled his voice and called the local Anarchists Gazette, assuming the fictitious persona of a certain Taffy bin Laden – the spokesman for the Islamic Front for the Liberation of Betws-y-Coed – and claimed responsibility for the bombing and destruction of the Ysgolly Cruddy Asbo Central High School – stating it was in protest against decadent Western democratic freedoms, the lewd habits of their wanton womenfolk - and the Welsh National Assembly’s 2007 (Cynulliad Cenedlaethol Cymru 2007) Wooly Animals Act’s scandalous Amendment LXIX (69) legalising consensual sex with sheep.
Unfortunately Fawkes-Jones used his mother’s house phone to place the call, which was then traced back to him by the Ysgolly Cruddy Police’s Anti-Terrorist Unit. When confronted with the facts he confessed his involvement in the plot, stating for the record it was carried out in a community sense spirit.
Ms Fellattia Titwank, the post-op’ transgender headmistress of the Ysgolly Cruddy Asbo Central High, had earlier informed the court that the prank was stupid but Mr Fawkes-Jones was a hard-working and conscientious teacher who was highly popular with both staff and pupils, and only wanted to achieve what was best for the community – by blowing the school up so they could get their long-promised and overdue new one built by Plaid Cymru at last.
Regardless of the court’s leniency towards Mr Fawkes-Jones, the General Teaching Council for Wales is considering if he should face further official disciplinary measures for using a tactical nuclear explosive device to demolish the school without first obtaining IAEA and too local HSE approval - and failing to submit a full risk assessment compliance audit form in advance of his anarchist actions.
The court further ordered Fawkes-Jones to make an official apology to the Islamic Front for the Liberation of Betws-y-Coed for besmearing their good name in a false flag terrorist attack that bore all the classical markings of an Israeli Mossad hi-fivers operation.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and misaligned references.
A teacher in Welsh Wales who planted a bomb in the school where he worked, blasting it to smithereens, has received a police caution and a 30 hour Community Service Order from the court after he explained that it all started out as a joke.
Apparently there had been a bomb hoax call to the police the previous week from someone – thought to be a Year 6 male pupil - claiming to be Mohammed bin Hughes and a member of an ultra-radical Llandudno-based Jihadist group calling themselves the Islamic Front for the Liberation of Betws-y-Coed.
The evening after the hoax call, following which the school had been evacuated and searched by police, the teaching staff were downing a few pints of Old Headbanger and Bitch Thumper at their local Scallies Arms and inadvertently discussed what a good thing it would have been if the school was blown up by terrorists as it presented a dilapidated ruin that was scheduled to be demolished and a new one built in its place over three years previously by the disingenuous Labour government of the day.
This apparently gave Chemistry teacher Owen Fawkes-Jones the idea to build a real bomb and plant it in the school cellars - next to the rat-infested boiler room.
The explosive device, comprised of a second-hand Plutonium 239 nuclear core bought from a Ukraine-based home appliances dealer on E-Bay, was detonated in the early hours of the morning – levelling the entire structure with the only loss of life being the school’s rodent population.
Post-explosion, the next morning Mr Fawkes-Jones muffled his voice and called the local Anarchists Gazette, assuming the fictitious persona of a certain Taffy bin Laden – the spokesman for the Islamic Front for the Liberation of Betws-y-Coed – and claimed responsibility for the bombing and destruction of the Ysgolly Cruddy Asbo Central High School – stating it was in protest against decadent Western democratic freedoms, the lewd habits of their wanton womenfolk - and the Welsh National Assembly’s 2007 (Cynulliad Cenedlaethol Cymru 2007) Wooly Animals Act’s scandalous Amendment LXIX (69) legalising consensual sex with sheep.
Unfortunately Fawkes-Jones used his mother’s house phone to place the call, which was then traced back to him by the Ysgolly Cruddy Police’s Anti-Terrorist Unit. When confronted with the facts he confessed his involvement in the plot, stating for the record it was carried out in a community sense spirit.
Ms Fellattia Titwank, the post-op’ transgender headmistress of the Ysgolly Cruddy Asbo Central High, had earlier informed the court that the prank was stupid but Mr Fawkes-Jones was a hard-working and conscientious teacher who was highly popular with both staff and pupils, and only wanted to achieve what was best for the community – by blowing the school up so they could get their long-promised and overdue new one built by Plaid Cymru at last.
Regardless of the court’s leniency towards Mr Fawkes-Jones, the General Teaching Council for Wales is considering if he should face further official disciplinary measures for using a tactical nuclear explosive device to demolish the school without first obtaining IAEA and too local HSE approval - and failing to submit a full risk assessment compliance audit form in advance of his anarchist actions.
The court further ordered Fawkes-Jones to make an official apology to the Islamic Front for the Liberation of Betws-y-Coed for besmearing their good name in a false flag terrorist attack that bore all the classical markings of an Israeli Mossad hi-fivers operation.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and misaligned references.
Monday, 21 June 2010
Israel Threatens New Gaza Aid Convoy
Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
As righteous international moral outrage and condemnation continues to be broadcast over the pariah state of Israel's deadly attack on a ‘Freedom Flotilla’ carrying humanitarian aid to the marginalised Palestinian population of the Gaza Strip, the mad dog kikesters once again threaten to halt any ship trying to break their illegal blockade.
In a letter to the United Nations Secretary General Ban Kike-Moonie, Israel's emaciated Ambassador to the UN, Gabriela ‘Kus Zonah’ Shalev – aka Lady Skeletor - called for a halt to fresh aid ships scheduled to set sail from Lebanon to break the siege of Gaza, warning that the rogue IDF military would use "all necessary means" to stop the convoy – letting slip their rabid commandos again – or torpedoing the offending humanitarian aid vessels.
Ms Jenny Cidal, a spokeswoman for the mutant-like Ambassador Shalev, told one reporter from the Bully Boys Gazette that "We are Jehovah’s Chosen People and the Holy Land belongs to us – not some bunch of filthy Palestinian refugees – and we intend to use all necessary means to prevent these ships from violating the existing naval blockade we imposed on Hamas and their Gaza Gangsters."
The warning comes as a group of female Lebanese activists – a stalwart mix of Christians and Muslims of conscience from the Jaysh al-Hisbah (Army of Suffering) – announced their plan to sail an aid ship loaded with medical supplies to Gaza, which has been under siege since the despotic Israeli tyrants started building their Great Apartheid Wall around the beleaguered enclave in 2007 converting it into one of the Nazi’s ‘Auschwitz’ style concentration camps and the biggest open prison on Earth.
According to the flotilla’s organizers, fifty Lebanese and foreign ‘peaceful’ activists would be aboard the first humanitarian aid ship – the MV Kus Ima Shelcha.
The new aid convoy was mobilised after the IDF’s 21st Ratsach Mamzer Commando Brigade stormed the Gaza Freedom Flotilla at the end of May, slaughtering or wounding every fucker old enough to bleed – and arbitrarily tossed dozens of injured activists over the side for shark fodder.
In a typical customary display of Jewish whingeing and posing as the perennial ‘victims’ of prejudice and oppression, Ambassador Skeletor claimed this latest humanitarian aid flotilla was linked to the Lebanese resistance movement of Hezbollah and attempting to smuggle weapons and explosives into the Gaza Strip disguised as medical supplies to restock Hamas’ diminished arsenals.
Conversely, Sheikh Fizzy Al Kaseltzer, the official Hezbollah spokesman in Beirut, denied their militant forces had any links to the mission as they did not wish to provide Israel with a valid excuse to attack the Gaza campaigners – as if the psychopaths in charge of the Knesset and the IDF ever need one when they go into homicide mode.
The warning from the ectomorphic UN Ambassador Skeletor comes directly after the Israeli Minister for Ethnic Cleansing Ehud ‘Zayin’ Barak threatened – with a customary display of Israeli unqualified arrogance - dire consequences against Lebanese Prime Minister Saad Hariri’s March 14th Alliance coalition government – comprised of Shite’s, Sunni’s and Cher’s, Maronites and Marmites, Druzes and Droolers - if they allowed any blockade-breaking humanitarian aid convoys bound for Gaza to assemble and sail from Beirut.
Are you thinking of getting a small armada of humanitarian aid vessels together to breach the kikesters illegal blockade of the Gaza Strip? Don’t forget the body armour and increase your IATA travel insurance to include shipwrecks and bullet wounds.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and misaligned references.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views – Purveyors of Bespoke Satire – enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of political incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist lobby.
As righteous international moral outrage and condemnation continues to be broadcast over the pariah state of Israel's deadly attack on a ‘Freedom Flotilla’ carrying humanitarian aid to the marginalised Palestinian population of the Gaza Strip, the mad dog kikesters once again threaten to halt any ship trying to break their illegal blockade.
In a letter to the United Nations Secretary General Ban Kike-Moonie, Israel's emaciated Ambassador to the UN, Gabriela ‘Kus Zonah’ Shalev – aka Lady Skeletor - called for a halt to fresh aid ships scheduled to set sail from Lebanon to break the siege of Gaza, warning that the rogue IDF military would use "all necessary means" to stop the convoy – letting slip their rabid commandos again – or torpedoing the offending humanitarian aid vessels.
Ms Jenny Cidal, a spokeswoman for the mutant-like Ambassador Shalev, told one reporter from the Bully Boys Gazette that "We are Jehovah’s Chosen People and the Holy Land belongs to us – not some bunch of filthy Palestinian refugees – and we intend to use all necessary means to prevent these ships from violating the existing naval blockade we imposed on Hamas and their Gaza Gangsters."
The warning comes as a group of female Lebanese activists – a stalwart mix of Christians and Muslims of conscience from the Jaysh al-Hisbah (Army of Suffering) – announced their plan to sail an aid ship loaded with medical supplies to Gaza, which has been under siege since the despotic Israeli tyrants started building their Great Apartheid Wall around the beleaguered enclave in 2007 converting it into one of the Nazi’s ‘Auschwitz’ style concentration camps and the biggest open prison on Earth.
According to the flotilla’s organizers, fifty Lebanese and foreign ‘peaceful’ activists would be aboard the first humanitarian aid ship – the MV Kus Ima Shelcha.
The new aid convoy was mobilised after the IDF’s 21st Ratsach Mamzer Commando Brigade stormed the Gaza Freedom Flotilla at the end of May, slaughtering or wounding every fucker old enough to bleed – and arbitrarily tossed dozens of injured activists over the side for shark fodder.
In a typical customary display of Jewish whingeing and posing as the perennial ‘victims’ of prejudice and oppression, Ambassador Skeletor claimed this latest humanitarian aid flotilla was linked to the Lebanese resistance movement of Hezbollah and attempting to smuggle weapons and explosives into the Gaza Strip disguised as medical supplies to restock Hamas’ diminished arsenals.
Conversely, Sheikh Fizzy Al Kaseltzer, the official Hezbollah spokesman in Beirut, denied their militant forces had any links to the mission as they did not wish to provide Israel with a valid excuse to attack the Gaza campaigners – as if the psychopaths in charge of the Knesset and the IDF ever need one when they go into homicide mode.
The warning from the ectomorphic UN Ambassador Skeletor comes directly after the Israeli Minister for Ethnic Cleansing Ehud ‘Zayin’ Barak threatened – with a customary display of Israeli unqualified arrogance - dire consequences against Lebanese Prime Minister Saad Hariri’s March 14th Alliance coalition government – comprised of Shite’s, Sunni’s and Cher’s, Maronites and Marmites, Druzes and Droolers - if they allowed any blockade-breaking humanitarian aid convoys bound for Gaza to assemble and sail from Beirut.
Are you thinking of getting a small armada of humanitarian aid vessels together to breach the kikesters illegal blockade of the Gaza Strip? Don’t forget the body armour and increase your IATA travel insurance to include shipwrecks and bullet wounds.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and misaligned references.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views – Purveyors of Bespoke Satire – enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of political incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist lobby.
US Unemployment Benefits Slashed
Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
With 12 Scumocrats joining the unanimous Repulsivecan’s Graft & Corruption bloc, the US Senate voted on Wednesday to defeat a proposed extension of unemployment benefits for the hapless peasants who have been out of work for more than a month.
The bill would have extended Jobseeker Allowances for the unemployed but the Rothshite-controlled Federal Reserve ordered the Kenyan cuckoo currently squatting in the White House to ensure the welfare cash was diverted and ready for the next big Gall Street bank bailout - and to pay the military-industrial cabal’s bills for supplying an assortment of hi-tech’ weaponry and the all-new ‘Baby Blaster’ bombs to Israel in readiness for their joint sneak attack on Iran.
Since the beginning of June, when the last welfare benefit extension expired, an excess of 900,000 workers have seen their benefits arbitrarily cut off like some eunuch slave’s bollocks – which by the first week of July will top 1.2 million very frustrated and angry peons. Yep, and that’s 10% of the nation’s current 12 million unemployed.
One problem with this ‘Old Mother Hubbard / The cupboard was bare’ policy is the fact that the Federal tax deductions contributed for years at salary source by workers who have been cast into unemployment due the kikesters New World Order-engineered global recession, was their self-funded insurance policy that provided unemployment benefit – and Medicare – and a pension – and now the government reneges on its mandated duty to provide.
Well, perhaps like Old Mother Hubbard’s dog – the disaffected and marginalised masses of penniless out-of-workers might just turn nasty and take a chunk out of the administration’s leg.
What a paradox and too a shameful exhibition of institutionalised hypocrisy when Congress can rush through a $700 billion bailout for Gall Street in October 2008 in a couple of days, and authorize a further mega-bucks financial windfall of zillions of dollars to the kikester banks and speculators (read gamblers) five months later, yet is unable to bring itself to support even the most meagre subsistence for the unemployed workers who are the victims, not the perpetrators, of the economic crisis – especially so with the number of new claims for unemployment compensation clocking in at 472,000 last week.
Ah, Capitalism and the ‘American Dream’ – obviously someone hasn’t been praying hard enough to Mammon - the God of Materialism – namely the 5.7 million long-term unemployed who are now cut off completely. Either way, those deprived of work by the kikester-generated economic crisis of capitalism - the most vulnerable section of the peasant class - will suffer greatest for the mistake of once believing in the credo “In God we trust”.
According to reports in the gutter press 28 states out of 50 have ordered across-the-board budget cuts, with the remaining 22 states imposing payless furloughs on employees, and 25 states and Puerto Rico have commenced massive layoffs of state workers – specifically, and too, ominously - teachers, police and firefighters – all of whom will now be freed up to join the mob and man the barricades - and haul the tumbrels to the gallows.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and misaligned references.
Thought for the day: With reflective references to 1789 and 1917, what pity that common sense and logic are not constants in the behaviour of nations and History is forced to repeat itself at their myopic expense.
With 12 Scumocrats joining the unanimous Repulsivecan’s Graft & Corruption bloc, the US Senate voted on Wednesday to defeat a proposed extension of unemployment benefits for the hapless peasants who have been out of work for more than a month.
The bill would have extended Jobseeker Allowances for the unemployed but the Rothshite-controlled Federal Reserve ordered the Kenyan cuckoo currently squatting in the White House to ensure the welfare cash was diverted and ready for the next big Gall Street bank bailout - and to pay the military-industrial cabal’s bills for supplying an assortment of hi-tech’ weaponry and the all-new ‘Baby Blaster’ bombs to Israel in readiness for their joint sneak attack on Iran.
Since the beginning of June, when the last welfare benefit extension expired, an excess of 900,000 workers have seen their benefits arbitrarily cut off like some eunuch slave’s bollocks – which by the first week of July will top 1.2 million very frustrated and angry peons. Yep, and that’s 10% of the nation’s current 12 million unemployed.
One problem with this ‘Old Mother Hubbard / The cupboard was bare’ policy is the fact that the Federal tax deductions contributed for years at salary source by workers who have been cast into unemployment due the kikesters New World Order-engineered global recession, was their self-funded insurance policy that provided unemployment benefit – and Medicare – and a pension – and now the government reneges on its mandated duty to provide.
Well, perhaps like Old Mother Hubbard’s dog – the disaffected and marginalised masses of penniless out-of-workers might just turn nasty and take a chunk out of the administration’s leg.
What a paradox and too a shameful exhibition of institutionalised hypocrisy when Congress can rush through a $700 billion bailout for Gall Street in October 2008 in a couple of days, and authorize a further mega-bucks financial windfall of zillions of dollars to the kikester banks and speculators (read gamblers) five months later, yet is unable to bring itself to support even the most meagre subsistence for the unemployed workers who are the victims, not the perpetrators, of the economic crisis – especially so with the number of new claims for unemployment compensation clocking in at 472,000 last week.
Ah, Capitalism and the ‘American Dream’ – obviously someone hasn’t been praying hard enough to Mammon - the God of Materialism – namely the 5.7 million long-term unemployed who are now cut off completely. Either way, those deprived of work by the kikester-generated economic crisis of capitalism - the most vulnerable section of the peasant class - will suffer greatest for the mistake of once believing in the credo “In God we trust”.
According to reports in the gutter press 28 states out of 50 have ordered across-the-board budget cuts, with the remaining 22 states imposing payless furloughs on employees, and 25 states and Puerto Rico have commenced massive layoffs of state workers – specifically, and too, ominously - teachers, police and firefighters – all of whom will now be freed up to join the mob and man the barricades - and haul the tumbrels to the gallows.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and misaligned references.
Thought for the day: With reflective references to 1789 and 1917, what pity that common sense and logic are not constants in the behaviour of nations and History is forced to repeat itself at their myopic expense.
Sunday, 20 June 2010
UK Libservative Policy = Hypocrisy Central
Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
In total conflict to the benign approach accorded to Israeli military officers and Knesset politicos with International Arrest Warrants for Nazi-style war crimes against humanity sat on a Borders Agency immigration desk under a pair of handcuffs waiting to be served if they dare set foot in Britain, the UK’s all-new Libservative government has authorised the arrest and detention of Kyrgyzstan political exile Maxim Bakiyev (a man whose appointment with Destiny has so far been long postponed – even at Blackpool FC) when he landed at Farnborough airport in his private executive jet on Sunday.
Unlike the rogue state of Israel’s kikester criminals who are protected by the all-pervasive corrupt influence of the Rothshite crime family consortium, Maxim Bakiyev, son of the deposed Kyrgyzstan premier, now stands alone – and accused of stirring up violent dissent in his homeland – plus charges of being an utter twat who got his sticky fingers into the national treasury's piggy bank.
Further, and to get Uncle Sam’s attentions focused on the problem, the ruling politicos are threatening to shut down the singular US base inside the country unless Bakiyev Junior, the ex-president's son, is extradited from the UK and back to Bishkek – the nation’s capital – for an interview with the KGB-taught secret police - and a spot of extraordinary rendition as he stands accused of organising and supporting the violence ravaging the country's southern regions between Kyrgyz and Uzbek ethnic factions.
Threats aside, resupply flights into the Manas airbase have not been stopped nor adversely affected in any way despite the violence in the south, with Washington distributing thousands of AK47 assault rifles and zillions of rounds of ammunition through the base since the unrest began.
So, let’s just get this straight. The Kyrgyz government of Premier Roza Oddcuntayeva is threatening to shut down the US base at Manas, its main transit hub for troops and equipment destined for Afghanistan, unless the ex-president's son Maxim Bakiyev is deported from the UK to Bishkek to undergo torture sessions to make him admit to something he may or may not be responsible for – then subject him to a show trial regardless and stand the hapless git in front of a firing squad.
Hmmm, er hang on a minute here – doesn’t this present a bit of a legal / asylum / sovereignty dilemma ?
Well, for William Vague, the new Foreign Secretary, perhaps not – but what’s a bit of hypocrisy between oiks, career criminals and political scumsters.
Willy Vague, a lifetime member of the Conservative Friends of Israel and founder of the Pro-Zionist Tory Toadies Club is currently on a mission to get the laws changed so that Israeli war criminals with International Arrest Warrants issued in their names – such as Tipzi Livid, Ehud Scumbagstein and even the Prime Minister Binbag Nuttyahoo (all involved and responsible for the ethnic cleansing cum genocidal dry run on the civilian population of Gaza during the 2008-2009 Xmas festive season ‘Operation Kill Every Fucker’) – will be able to visit the UK with impunity from the hands of justice.
Hmmm, a noticeable sore-thumb fact that Willy’s ‘personal’ attentions to the Israeli kikesters travel problems viz International Arrest Warrants haven’t been reflected in the direction of the disgraceful extradition order hanging over disabled computer hacker Gary McKinnon – wanted for trial in the good ole US of AIPAC for accessing the Pentagon’s and NASA’s top secret UFO X-Files looking for little green men and discovering their firewalls and security systems were as efficient as the Chinese cash register in a 7/11 Stop n Rob.
Further in the order of specific interest, apparently Foreign Secretary Vague isn’t currently a paid-up member of the Friends of Maxim Bakiyev Fan Club either, Hence where international arrest warrants and deportation requests from Bishkek are concerned, Bakiyev Junior might just be shit out of luck.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and misaligned references.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views – Purveyors of Bespoke Satire – enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of political incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist lobby.
In total conflict to the benign approach accorded to Israeli military officers and Knesset politicos with International Arrest Warrants for Nazi-style war crimes against humanity sat on a Borders Agency immigration desk under a pair of handcuffs waiting to be served if they dare set foot in Britain, the UK’s all-new Libservative government has authorised the arrest and detention of Kyrgyzstan political exile Maxim Bakiyev (a man whose appointment with Destiny has so far been long postponed – even at Blackpool FC) when he landed at Farnborough airport in his private executive jet on Sunday.
Unlike the rogue state of Israel’s kikester criminals who are protected by the all-pervasive corrupt influence of the Rothshite crime family consortium, Maxim Bakiyev, son of the deposed Kyrgyzstan premier, now stands alone – and accused of stirring up violent dissent in his homeland – plus charges of being an utter twat who got his sticky fingers into the national treasury's piggy bank.
Further, and to get Uncle Sam’s attentions focused on the problem, the ruling politicos are threatening to shut down the singular US base inside the country unless Bakiyev Junior, the ex-president's son, is extradited from the UK and back to Bishkek – the nation’s capital – for an interview with the KGB-taught secret police - and a spot of extraordinary rendition as he stands accused of organising and supporting the violence ravaging the country's southern regions between Kyrgyz and Uzbek ethnic factions.
Threats aside, resupply flights into the Manas airbase have not been stopped nor adversely affected in any way despite the violence in the south, with Washington distributing thousands of AK47 assault rifles and zillions of rounds of ammunition through the base since the unrest began.
So, let’s just get this straight. The Kyrgyz government of Premier Roza Oddcuntayeva is threatening to shut down the US base at Manas, its main transit hub for troops and equipment destined for Afghanistan, unless the ex-president's son Maxim Bakiyev is deported from the UK to Bishkek to undergo torture sessions to make him admit to something he may or may not be responsible for – then subject him to a show trial regardless and stand the hapless git in front of a firing squad.
Hmmm, er hang on a minute here – doesn’t this present a bit of a legal / asylum / sovereignty dilemma ?
Well, for William Vague, the new Foreign Secretary, perhaps not – but what’s a bit of hypocrisy between oiks, career criminals and political scumsters.
Willy Vague, a lifetime member of the Conservative Friends of Israel and founder of the Pro-Zionist Tory Toadies Club is currently on a mission to get the laws changed so that Israeli war criminals with International Arrest Warrants issued in their names – such as Tipzi Livid, Ehud Scumbagstein and even the Prime Minister Binbag Nuttyahoo (all involved and responsible for the ethnic cleansing cum genocidal dry run on the civilian population of Gaza during the 2008-2009 Xmas festive season ‘Operation Kill Every Fucker’) – will be able to visit the UK with impunity from the hands of justice.
Hmmm, a noticeable sore-thumb fact that Willy’s ‘personal’ attentions to the Israeli kikesters travel problems viz International Arrest Warrants haven’t been reflected in the direction of the disgraceful extradition order hanging over disabled computer hacker Gary McKinnon – wanted for trial in the good ole US of AIPAC for accessing the Pentagon’s and NASA’s top secret UFO X-Files looking for little green men and discovering their firewalls and security systems were as efficient as the Chinese cash register in a 7/11 Stop n Rob.
Further in the order of specific interest, apparently Foreign Secretary Vague isn’t currently a paid-up member of the Friends of Maxim Bakiyev Fan Club either, Hence where international arrest warrants and deportation requests from Bishkek are concerned, Bakiyev Junior might just be shit out of luck.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and misaligned references.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views – Purveyors of Bespoke Satire – enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of political incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist lobby.
PC McTosser’s On-the-Spot Sex Fine
Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
A Smegmadale-on-the-Wold traffic police officer has been given a caution, fined £10 quid and slapped with a 50 hour Community Service Order sentence for having unprotected rampant sex with female drivers in exchange for excusing their motoring offences.
Constable Barry McTosser, 33, of Twatsford Terraces appeared at Smegmashire Crown Court on charges of misconduct while in public office.
The court heard how the accused contacted the women after pulling them over and played a sick game of ‘Deal or No Deal’ by offering to overlook their idiotic driving offences if they consented to having perverted al fresco sessions of three-hole sex with him.
The court was presented with evidence of how the Smegmadale officer used the police force’s new Inter-Plod national computer network to access personal data on his victims.
PC McTosser, a self-confessed chronic masturbator whose previous carnal experiences had been limited to a long-term relationship with his right hand, stopped dozens of women for minor motoring offences and requested their mobile phone numbers. He later sent the women drivers text messages demanding they meet him for sex – or else.
Sir Irwin Bogbrush QC, prosecuting, informed the court that McTosser’s victims had felt powerless to complain and quite overawed as he was a police officer in uniform and made great display of his twelve inch truncheon.
The court heard evidence of how one woman, Ms Beverly Titwank of Doggers Wood was driving with only a provisional licence and no L plates or accompanying qualified driver when McTosser pulled her over for doing three circuits of a five branch roundabout as she attempted to discern which exit to take.
When he informed her that the car would be impounded Ms Titwank began a big sob-sob act – and it was then that McTosser offered to let her off with a warning if she gave him a blow job on the rear seat of his patrol car.
Ms Titwank told the court “So I gets inter the back of his effin’ panda car an’ he drops his pants an’ his skiddies round his ankles like an’ there’s this tiny little cock peepin’ out of his pubic hair an’ I starts laughin’ me effin’ head off cos I’d never seen a dick that small before an’ sez ter him “That might be all-right for keyholes and little girlie’s pee holes but no good for me, darling.”
“That’s when he gets all nasty like an’ sticks his mini-weiner in me ear an’ sez “Yer cunt – I’m gonna fuck some sense inter yer!” – an’ that’s when I grabbed hold of his bollocks an’ started squeezin’ an’ tuggin’ til he passed out – so I nicked his effin’ Plod Squad ID card an’ got his cellphone number.”
Ms Titwank added that when she informed her husband about the incident he started sending PC McTosser a series of taunting text messages and posted details of the incident on the Twitter social networking website that led to two other women – Ms Chlamydia Muffitch, a 17-year old mother of three, and the 96-year old Ms Candida Twatrot - filing charges against him.
In closing Sir Irwin Bogbrush QC told the court "Ms Titwank was left unnerved by the sordid events and maintains she will never get into a police vehicle again, having lost faith in the police as a protective force of capable men if they all have penises that small."
Mr Armitage Shanks, defending, told the court that McTosser was full of remorse for breaking the 11th Commandment and getting his sorry arse caught.
"It was PC McTosser’s long-standing ambition to be a police officer and the fulfilment of a dream to hold arbitrary power over defenceless women and demand all manner of perverted sex that he couldn’t get while out on the moors chasing sheep."
Do you live in the Smegmashire area? Have you been pulled over by traffic police and given a choice between an on-the-spot fine and three points on your licence or give the plod a blow job? Have you seen anyone in a blue uniform out on the moors, zapped up on a Viagra high and chasing sheep?
Send your comments using the online reply form below and you could win a huge amount in compensation for the psychological distress suffered.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and misaligned references.
A Smegmadale-on-the-Wold traffic police officer has been given a caution, fined £10 quid and slapped with a 50 hour Community Service Order sentence for having unprotected rampant sex with female drivers in exchange for excusing their motoring offences.
Constable Barry McTosser, 33, of Twatsford Terraces appeared at Smegmashire Crown Court on charges of misconduct while in public office.
The court heard how the accused contacted the women after pulling them over and played a sick game of ‘Deal or No Deal’ by offering to overlook their idiotic driving offences if they consented to having perverted al fresco sessions of three-hole sex with him.
The court was presented with evidence of how the Smegmadale officer used the police force’s new Inter-Plod national computer network to access personal data on his victims.
PC McTosser, a self-confessed chronic masturbator whose previous carnal experiences had been limited to a long-term relationship with his right hand, stopped dozens of women for minor motoring offences and requested their mobile phone numbers. He later sent the women drivers text messages demanding they meet him for sex – or else.
Sir Irwin Bogbrush QC, prosecuting, informed the court that McTosser’s victims had felt powerless to complain and quite overawed as he was a police officer in uniform and made great display of his twelve inch truncheon.
The court heard evidence of how one woman, Ms Beverly Titwank of Doggers Wood was driving with only a provisional licence and no L plates or accompanying qualified driver when McTosser pulled her over for doing three circuits of a five branch roundabout as she attempted to discern which exit to take.
When he informed her that the car would be impounded Ms Titwank began a big sob-sob act – and it was then that McTosser offered to let her off with a warning if she gave him a blow job on the rear seat of his patrol car.
Ms Titwank told the court “So I gets inter the back of his effin’ panda car an’ he drops his pants an’ his skiddies round his ankles like an’ there’s this tiny little cock peepin’ out of his pubic hair an’ I starts laughin’ me effin’ head off cos I’d never seen a dick that small before an’ sez ter him “That might be all-right for keyholes and little girlie’s pee holes but no good for me, darling.”
“That’s when he gets all nasty like an’ sticks his mini-weiner in me ear an’ sez “Yer cunt – I’m gonna fuck some sense inter yer!” – an’ that’s when I grabbed hold of his bollocks an’ started squeezin’ an’ tuggin’ til he passed out – so I nicked his effin’ Plod Squad ID card an’ got his cellphone number.”
Ms Titwank added that when she informed her husband about the incident he started sending PC McTosser a series of taunting text messages and posted details of the incident on the Twitter social networking website that led to two other women – Ms Chlamydia Muffitch, a 17-year old mother of three, and the 96-year old Ms Candida Twatrot - filing charges against him.
In closing Sir Irwin Bogbrush QC told the court "Ms Titwank was left unnerved by the sordid events and maintains she will never get into a police vehicle again, having lost faith in the police as a protective force of capable men if they all have penises that small."
Mr Armitage Shanks, defending, told the court that McTosser was full of remorse for breaking the 11th Commandment and getting his sorry arse caught.
"It was PC McTosser’s long-standing ambition to be a police officer and the fulfilment of a dream to hold arbitrary power over defenceless women and demand all manner of perverted sex that he couldn’t get while out on the moors chasing sheep."
Do you live in the Smegmashire area? Have you been pulled over by traffic police and given a choice between an on-the-spot fine and three points on your licence or give the plod a blow job? Have you seen anyone in a blue uniform out on the moors, zapped up on a Viagra high and chasing sheep?
Send your comments using the online reply form below and you could win a huge amount in compensation for the psychological distress suffered.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and misaligned references.
Saturday, 19 June 2010
Quango Promoting Sex Ed’ for 5-Year Olds
In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
In what has got to be their most morally-questionable and asinine scheme to date, the Government’s controversial health watchdog NICE - the National Institute for Clinical Eccentricity – whose original intended role was to ration NHS drugs – is to write to every primary school instructing them to commence sex education classes when pupils are five years old.
This promiscuity-promoting agenda being pushed by the not very NICE quango is rumoured to be the brainchild of the Common Purpose social engineering group and assumes to tell teachers that children ought not be taught to say no to sex – but should learn how to avoid ‘unwanted’ pregnancies, catching doses of the clap, the dreaded pox, and galloping twatrot – plus discover the value and joys of ‘mutually rewarding erotic sexual relationships’ – whether homo or hetero-sexual.
Yep, you read it correctly the first time: “the value of ‘mutually rewarding erotic sexual relationships” – that’s it – not part of the parody. Just what a bunch of five-year old kids need.
So, what kind of hackneyed cliches are going to be revived behind the bike sheds or under the hedges of the playing fields, uttered from the mouths of veritable babes? “Did the Earth move for you too?” “Will you still respect me after playtime?” “I’ll give you half me dinner money for a quick blow job.”
Oh yes, just imagine a five-year old Simon coming out of school with a long face and having to self-out by declaring “Mum, I’ve just discovered I’m a raving poofter who prefers the smell of shit to the taste of pussy and just love a cock up me bum.”
Likewise Peggy Sue proclaiming for all to hear “I’ve got a crush on Sapphie Dildodo in Class 2 and we don’t care if you do call us rug-munching lezbo dykes.”
Sex education for five-year olds indeed. No effing wonder we have so many adolescent and teenage slappers up the tub. What the fuck happened to gooseberry bushes, our old friend the stork, and the birds n the bees?
Next we’re going to have parents complaining their 6-year old daughter wants a boob job for Christmas – plus her own jolly jackrabbit vibrator with a big-ears clitty tickler.
Little boys borrowing the Dad’s vacuum pump penis enlarger and pilfering his Viagra stash. Kids on the scam in Boots Chemists – shoplifting condoms and KY jelly anal lubricant.
While the 740-page document – which also deals with how to perform an ‘at home’ abortion with a pair of barbequeue tongs and a kitchen grater - was produced on NICE’s own initiative by claiming that public health is part of its core remit and that cutting teenage pregnancy and sexually transmitted disease might just save the NHS money, it has obviously overlooked the stark, staring facts concerning human curiosity and its propensity for ‘experimentation’ when these kids get into private – or group - ‘comparative anatomy’ sessions behind locked doors - or the lofty isolation of their community tree house.
So, what’s next on the ‘sex education’ agenda? The ‘mutually rewarding erotic sexual experiences’ that can be derived from fetishism, group sex, bondage, voyeurism, dogging or BD/SM games?
Whatever, the mind actually boggles at the possible permutations with sex education for pre-pubescent school pupils who can't yet grow hair they can sit on.
Just guess what that little nymphomaniac bitch Jezebel did at school today? “Mummy. Mummy, I got a gold star in the sex education class today cos I was the only one able to slip a condom on Johnnie’s cock without ripping it an’ all the other stupid slappers in the class – an’ that little gayboy faggot Simon couldn’t – cos Johhnie’s cock was sooo flaccid an’ Mrs Titwank sez he’s like her husband and needs a dose of Viagra to get ‘it’ up.”
One factor that emerges from NICE’s promotion of the scheme - guess who’s pushing this immoral and insidious agenda? Why none other than Mr Tariq Ahmed – the Project Director of Brent Education Action Zone – in whose country of origin arranged marriages are commonplace –between 6-year olds. Hmmm, obviously a bit of a cultural clash here, perhaps.
Hey, but let’s not forget Soctland’s Grampian area – especially so Aberdeen where the Ferryhill Kiddie Fiddlers Masonic Lodge started teaching sex education to disabled and special needs school children twenty-plus years ago – including violent rape scenes involving three-hole sex (vaginal, anal and fellatio through irrumatio) – and not only lessons off the teachers themselves but an entire community effort by the ranking establishment of local worthies –from teachers to social care workers, doctors, nurses, socilitors, councillors, the dodgy plods constabulary and even the Sherrif himself.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and misaligned references.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views – Purveyors of Bespoke Satire – enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of political incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist lobby.
In what has got to be their most morally-questionable and asinine scheme to date, the Government’s controversial health watchdog NICE - the National Institute for Clinical Eccentricity – whose original intended role was to ration NHS drugs – is to write to every primary school instructing them to commence sex education classes when pupils are five years old.
This promiscuity-promoting agenda being pushed by the not very NICE quango is rumoured to be the brainchild of the Common Purpose social engineering group and assumes to tell teachers that children ought not be taught to say no to sex – but should learn how to avoid ‘unwanted’ pregnancies, catching doses of the clap, the dreaded pox, and galloping twatrot – plus discover the value and joys of ‘mutually rewarding erotic sexual relationships’ – whether homo or hetero-sexual.
Yep, you read it correctly the first time: “the value of ‘mutually rewarding erotic sexual relationships” – that’s it – not part of the parody. Just what a bunch of five-year old kids need.
So, what kind of hackneyed cliches are going to be revived behind the bike sheds or under the hedges of the playing fields, uttered from the mouths of veritable babes? “Did the Earth move for you too?” “Will you still respect me after playtime?” “I’ll give you half me dinner money for a quick blow job.”
Oh yes, just imagine a five-year old Simon coming out of school with a long face and having to self-out by declaring “Mum, I’ve just discovered I’m a raving poofter who prefers the smell of shit to the taste of pussy and just love a cock up me bum.”
Likewise Peggy Sue proclaiming for all to hear “I’ve got a crush on Sapphie Dildodo in Class 2 and we don’t care if you do call us rug-munching lezbo dykes.”
Sex education for five-year olds indeed. No effing wonder we have so many adolescent and teenage slappers up the tub. What the fuck happened to gooseberry bushes, our old friend the stork, and the birds n the bees?
Next we’re going to have parents complaining their 6-year old daughter wants a boob job for Christmas – plus her own jolly jackrabbit vibrator with a big-ears clitty tickler.
Little boys borrowing the Dad’s vacuum pump penis enlarger and pilfering his Viagra stash. Kids on the scam in Boots Chemists – shoplifting condoms and KY jelly anal lubricant.
While the 740-page document – which also deals with how to perform an ‘at home’ abortion with a pair of barbequeue tongs and a kitchen grater - was produced on NICE’s own initiative by claiming that public health is part of its core remit and that cutting teenage pregnancy and sexually transmitted disease might just save the NHS money, it has obviously overlooked the stark, staring facts concerning human curiosity and its propensity for ‘experimentation’ when these kids get into private – or group - ‘comparative anatomy’ sessions behind locked doors - or the lofty isolation of their community tree house.
So, what’s next on the ‘sex education’ agenda? The ‘mutually rewarding erotic sexual experiences’ that can be derived from fetishism, group sex, bondage, voyeurism, dogging or BD/SM games?
Whatever, the mind actually boggles at the possible permutations with sex education for pre-pubescent school pupils who can't yet grow hair they can sit on.
Just guess what that little nymphomaniac bitch Jezebel did at school today? “Mummy. Mummy, I got a gold star in the sex education class today cos I was the only one able to slip a condom on Johnnie’s cock without ripping it an’ all the other stupid slappers in the class – an’ that little gayboy faggot Simon couldn’t – cos Johhnie’s cock was sooo flaccid an’ Mrs Titwank sez he’s like her husband and needs a dose of Viagra to get ‘it’ up.”
One factor that emerges from NICE’s promotion of the scheme - guess who’s pushing this immoral and insidious agenda? Why none other than Mr Tariq Ahmed – the Project Director of Brent Education Action Zone – in whose country of origin arranged marriages are commonplace –between 6-year olds. Hmmm, obviously a bit of a cultural clash here, perhaps.
Hey, but let’s not forget Soctland’s Grampian area – especially so Aberdeen where the Ferryhill Kiddie Fiddlers Masonic Lodge started teaching sex education to disabled and special needs school children twenty-plus years ago – including violent rape scenes involving three-hole sex (vaginal, anal and fellatio through irrumatio) – and not only lessons off the teachers themselves but an entire community effort by the ranking establishment of local worthies –from teachers to social care workers, doctors, nurses, socilitors, councillors, the dodgy plods constabulary and even the Sherrif himself.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and misaligned references.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views – Purveyors of Bespoke Satire – enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of political incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist lobby.
French Poison Dwarf Outlaws ‘Tallness’
Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
Nikolas Teakozy of France, the incumbent short-arsed President, known affectionately to family, friends and critics alike as a vanity-stricken physical (and mental) midget troll, has finally spit the proverbial dummy and taken umbrage at remarks ranging from the mildly sarcastic to outright ridicule concerning his height – or rather the actual lack of it.
The egocentric 4 foot 9 inches ‘small’ leader is alleged to now dispatch his aides ahead of official visits to prevent anyone taller from appearing alongside him in public.
This latest piece of raving paranoia over his diminutive size affecting the macho Gallic image comes just a week after he fired the lofty six-footers from his presidential protection team and recruited a gang of ‘cage fighting’ midgets from Le Circus Petite.
The Liliputian Teakozy, who either wears 12 inch platform heels or walks on stilts to disguise his lack of vertical attainment, is due to officially open the new Turbo Tatswiller ‘Fido Foods’ doggy chow factory near Merde-sur-Mer next week, with the local gutter press rag – the Enculez-Vous Gazette - reporting two Presidential staff had been there already to 'whittle out the tall ones'.
One line production manager working at the factory who wishes to remain anonymous (Pierre le Twatte) informed the scandal-mongering tabloid "I am almost six feet tall and I was told that I must not come to work that day in case I cast a shadow over Monsieur President – or tread on him by accident."
The anarchist red top tabloid further commented: "It seems people at the plant decided it was better to yield to the miniature President's asinine wishes than face exile to the land of the pygmies."
The Amazonian 5 feet 10 inches tall Carla Bruni, his fiesty Italian spouse, towers over him in bare feet, let alone her Domina-like leather thigh-length boot with six inch spiked heels - and refers to her ‘Little Nikki’ as “My Tom Thumb pocket-sized hubby.”
Apparently Teakozy’s ‘short-arse’ psychosis and phobia date back to his schooldays when he was regularly pissed on by much taller boys of his own age – then fell victim to several instances of ‘midget tossing’ while he was at college – normally by his drunken peers who had a bad habit of dropping him – on his already deformed head.
Teakozy’s efforts to have non-aligned political allies force through the French legislature a Dwarf Tossing Ban law similar to the Leprechaun Chucking Act that was passed by the Irish Parliament in 2008 went awry when the Conseil d’Etat were unable to agree on nor set a standard maximum height measurement for dwarfs, midgets, pygmies or smurfs.
Have you ever been pissed on from a dizzy height? Do you ever toss the odd midget or three? Did you know Scotsmen toss cabers? Were you aware most French politicians are regarded as ‘tossers’? Do you think a ‘Midget Tossing’ event will be included in the 2012 London Olympics?
Send your comments using the online reply form below and you could win a front row ticket to the Turbo Tatswiller’s ‘Fido Foods’ doggy chow plant’s grand opening next week and stand next to President Teakozy - and make him look like a right krunt.
* Carbon Credit Cap & Trade Exchange (aka Pollution Reduction Scam) declaration: No trees, fish, cormorants, bumble bees or small furry mammals were harmed in posting this message. However, a large number of midgets were temporarily tossed off.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and misaligned references.
Nikolas Teakozy of France, the incumbent short-arsed President, known affectionately to family, friends and critics alike as a vanity-stricken physical (and mental) midget troll, has finally spit the proverbial dummy and taken umbrage at remarks ranging from the mildly sarcastic to outright ridicule concerning his height – or rather the actual lack of it.
The egocentric 4 foot 9 inches ‘small’ leader is alleged to now dispatch his aides ahead of official visits to prevent anyone taller from appearing alongside him in public.
This latest piece of raving paranoia over his diminutive size affecting the macho Gallic image comes just a week after he fired the lofty six-footers from his presidential protection team and recruited a gang of ‘cage fighting’ midgets from Le Circus Petite.
The Liliputian Teakozy, who either wears 12 inch platform heels or walks on stilts to disguise his lack of vertical attainment, is due to officially open the new Turbo Tatswiller ‘Fido Foods’ doggy chow factory near Merde-sur-Mer next week, with the local gutter press rag – the Enculez-Vous Gazette - reporting two Presidential staff had been there already to 'whittle out the tall ones'.
One line production manager working at the factory who wishes to remain anonymous (Pierre le Twatte) informed the scandal-mongering tabloid "I am almost six feet tall and I was told that I must not come to work that day in case I cast a shadow over Monsieur President – or tread on him by accident."
The anarchist red top tabloid further commented: "It seems people at the plant decided it was better to yield to the miniature President's asinine wishes than face exile to the land of the pygmies."
The Amazonian 5 feet 10 inches tall Carla Bruni, his fiesty Italian spouse, towers over him in bare feet, let alone her Domina-like leather thigh-length boot with six inch spiked heels - and refers to her ‘Little Nikki’ as “My Tom Thumb pocket-sized hubby.”
Apparently Teakozy’s ‘short-arse’ psychosis and phobia date back to his schooldays when he was regularly pissed on by much taller boys of his own age – then fell victim to several instances of ‘midget tossing’ while he was at college – normally by his drunken peers who had a bad habit of dropping him – on his already deformed head.
Teakozy’s efforts to have non-aligned political allies force through the French legislature a Dwarf Tossing Ban law similar to the Leprechaun Chucking Act that was passed by the Irish Parliament in 2008 went awry when the Conseil d’Etat were unable to agree on nor set a standard maximum height measurement for dwarfs, midgets, pygmies or smurfs.
Have you ever been pissed on from a dizzy height? Do you ever toss the odd midget or three? Did you know Scotsmen toss cabers? Were you aware most French politicians are regarded as ‘tossers’? Do you think a ‘Midget Tossing’ event will be included in the 2012 London Olympics?
Send your comments using the online reply form below and you could win a front row ticket to the Turbo Tatswiller’s ‘Fido Foods’ doggy chow plant’s grand opening next week and stand next to President Teakozy - and make him look like a right krunt.
* Carbon Credit Cap & Trade Exchange (aka Pollution Reduction Scam) declaration: No trees, fish, cormorants, bumble bees or small furry mammals were harmed in posting this message. However, a large number of midgets were temporarily tossed off.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and misaligned references.
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