Millions of Brit’s get Terror Training

Millions of UK workers are being trained to help respond to future terror attacks as part of an updated counter-terrorist strategy, a government spokesman informed the propaganda media this afternoon.

‘Second Home’ Secretary Jacqui ‘Stabvest’ Smith later added that shop and hotel workers would be among 10,000,000 people being trained to deal with a terrorist incident such as disarming a nuclear weapon or leading a first strike SWAT team into action.

The updated approach, aimed at demonising Islam and Middle-Eastern types even further as the singular sources of violent extremism in the known Universe, would be the most comprehensive in the world, Smith informed gutter press hacks; turning every man, woman and child into an assault rifle-wielding front line soldier – as per the brainwashed Israeli model citizen type.

The MI5 / Fabian Society-inspired counter-terrorism document – recently composed by a covert team of Common Purpose’s best fairy tale writers and the pro-Zionist Tavistock Institute’s black propaganda division for the Home Office will revitalise the stale and hackneyed intelligence opinion that the biggest threat to Western civilisation comes from non-existent al-Qaeda-linked groups of Jolly Jihad Muslim fanatics living in caves around Yorkshire and following the orders of leaders who have been dead for years.

The report also takes into account the recent slapdash and blatantly-obvious false flag terrorist attacks on hotels in the Indian city of Mumbai, carried out by the usual suspects (Mossad & Co.) but blamed on Pakistani-based militant groups to stir up further animosity between India and it’s Islamic neighbour.

The ‘Second Home’ Secretary told BBC One's “You’ll Never Believe Them” slimy politician’s interview programme : "What we need to do alongside the ten million people that Common Purpose are now training up to respond to a terrorist threat, in everywhere from Poundstretcher stores to our Bargain Booze outlets, is to recruit and train the nation’s schoolchildren to be the security service’s eyes and ears on the ground also.”

“If their dodgy immigrant neighbours spend too much time in their garden sheds or down at the local mosque then it’s a child’s duty as a UK citizen to grass these people up to their local Gestapo officer – er – Community Enforcement officer.”

"We need to do it alongside the 3,000,000 plastic plods now working as counter-terrorism spies and we need to do it with the neighbourhood kids involved.
It can be a fun thing for them, form their own junior Stasi groups and – ‘Grass up Granny’ – or their parents – for any dodgy political views expressed at home they have that might be construed as terrorist-orientated.”

The updated strategy will increase the focus on challenging any and all individuals and groups who undermine the UK's ‘shared EU values’ - even if they are not breaking the law.
This would automatically include anyone from the country’s burgeoning ranks of the unemployed who dared go into a branch of Jobcentreplus and demand a ’job’ or write to their MP complaining about ‘anything’ – from crap council services to dogshit around the park or potholes in the road.

Gordon Brown, the prime minister nobody voted for, told the media hundreds of thousands of numpty civilians had already undergone NLP brainwashing and training by Common Purpose’s para-military units in how to look out for suspicious behaviour in crowded places, such as shoplifting, paying a bill in cash, wearing a hoodie, carrying a locked and loaded AK47 or struggling to remove the pin from a fragmentation grenade – or - simply being a sun-tanned Latino electrician wearing a back pack and boarding the tube train as if they meant to actually go somewhere.

Brown further stated "There are thousands of people in the public sector who have the necessary knowledge and skills to combat terrorist threats – such as plumbers, girl guides, newspaper boys, Big Issue sellers and Lollipop ladies.
We want them all on New Labour’s side in the fight against anyone who disagrees with our policies."

Conversely Tory shadow home secretary Wentworth Volestrangler, MP for Old Scrotum, welcomed some of the proposals but said too little was being done to tackle the root causes of the current wave of Islamic extremism.

He went on to mention such issues as illegally invading Iraq and Afghanistan to steal their oil and control opium production respectively, and then publicly plan a strategy to let the Israelis bomb Iran back into the Stone Age on the pretext of them developing nukes when the true purpose is to initiate a regime change for a Western-Zionist compliant leadership.

“No wonder the affected Muslim populations of the region are upset and organising Jihads against their aggressors. Forget the fairy tale propaganda that they hate our so-called imaginary freedoms, they just hate us being in their countries illegally, devastating their infrastructures, stealing their natural resources and killing their women and children.”

However, the Western Zionist Axis of Evil’s anti-Islamist myth of “They hate us because of our freedoms” is proven threadbare when our right to demand, under the UK’s Freedom of Information Act, access to documented records of government abuses- such as a record of MP’s expenses – is stonewalled at every turn, with shameless MP’s attempting to introduce legislation to keep said expenses secret lest details of such fall into ‘terrorist’ hands.

Thus the Rothschild Zionist-funded / pro-EU Common Purpose & Co. are training (read NLP brainwashing) up a home-grown neighbourhood watch Stasi / Gestapo force ready to confront and silence anyone who disagrees with the UK government and especially the Brussels-based EU fascists.

This is set to include any person who questions the identity of the true perpetrators of the WTC 9/11 attacks, of the Madrid train bombing, of the Bali micro-nuke bombing, of the 07/07/05 London tube (and double-decker bus) bombings, etc, et al.

Conspiracy theory radicals suggesting any of the above were false flag operations by Western military-industrial cartel / vested oil and banking interests solely to justify the illegal invasions of Afghanistan and Iraq will be pronounced ‘terrorists’ themselves for not towing the New World Order Big Brother party line.
Persons suggesting Mossad’s ‘dancing hi-fivers’ might have be involved will be instantly branded ‘anti-Semites’.

Nothing new to the approach, it was all tried and tested in the Nazi Germany and Stalinist Soviet Russia eras – and still seems to work quite well in China - but now updated and refined to a superior cutting edge with the latest spybot technology.
Further, it all coincides and ties in nicely with the US passing their Mandatory National Service Bill – the Kafkaesque-titled ‘Generations Invigorating Volunteerism and Education Act’ aka the GIMME Act that will result in seven million civilians press-ganged into conscripted government service whether they like it or not, and special dispensations for conscientious objectors denied.

Do you disagree with EU policy and legislation? Are you a Holohoax or global warming denier? Do you think members of New Labour should be charged with war crimes. Did you laugh when someone threw green custard over Lord Peter Scandalson?
Tut-tut. Very politically incorrect - instantly diagnosed as being totally bonkers and a threat to society so off to a mental institute with you.

Have you been brainwashed by Common Purpose to identify potential terrorists? Would you report your neighbours for not using the right recycling bin? Got your mandatory ID card yet? Do you think the government’s correct in assuming the British common herd of sheeple are so stupid they can’t see through the sham reasons for this training?

Are you on the dangerous twats ‘Red’ list, or the bloody nuisance ‘Blue’ list, or the ‘Couldn’t really give a shit’ ‘Yellow’ list? Log onto the Experian website right now and get a free personal ‘terrorist risk assessment’.

Fill in our online questionnaire below and a squad of your local Community Enforcement officers will call round, throw you in the back of a van and drop you off at your nearest dissident-friendly concentration camp.