Hillary the Rodent Threatens Iran

Kenyan Barack O’Barmy’s newly-installed Secretary for Hypocrisy, Hilarious Rodent Clinton, ratcheted up bellicose US rhetoric against Iran on Wednesday, accusing the country of funding terrorism and interfering in the internal affairs of states throughout the Middle East.

She emphasised that political meddling in other people’s countries has been the established private reserve of the US’s military-industrial cabal for the past century, to serve their own selfish commercial interests, and that nationalist do-gooder political reformers would be well advised to either follow their lead and comply with US Zionist policy or keep looking over their shoulder for a Blackwater or Mossad hit team.

Her statements, once again demonising Islam in general and Iran specifically, coincided with the release of a report by the Washington think tank, Numptys, which has strong ties to the O’Barmy administration, suggesting that the US should establish a "nuclear umbrella" over the region to cower it’s inhabitants into submissive obedience.

Rodent-watchers might recall that during the course of the 2008 election campaign, then-Democratic Party presidential hopeful Hillary declared her support for just such an umbrella, vowing that as president she would "obliterate" Iran in the event it attacked Israel. So much for the ‘neutral stance’ foreign diplomacy approach.

Hopefully her duplicitous demands meet with more success in coercing the region’s Islamic Jihadists to keep their missiles in the silos than she’s had ensuring her dipshit husband, the Artful Dodger Bill, keeps his errant cock in his pants.

Clinton made her remarks to Sapphie Dildodo, political correspondent for the Democrat’s Strapon Weekly News while flying to a NATO foreign ministers meeting in Brussels on her exclusive Broomstick One 747, having just completed her Four B’s (Bossy Butch Bully Bitch) gunship diplomacy tour of the Middle East, which reportedly went in one ear and straight out of the other, leaving Islamic leaders in hysterics at the pretentious posturing of a pompous, arrogant egoistic female in dire need of a few swift strokes from a camel whip across the cheeks of her flabby fat arse.

Alike Captain Queeg hunting down the missing strawberries, Clinton, devoid of credible evidence, accused Iran of pursuing nuclear weapons and, applying an Alice in Wonderland system of logic, defended the US plan to deploy a missile defence system around Poland as a necessary response to the concocted Iranian threat. Que – Poland? Did this woman ever attend Geography classes at school?

In a verbatim repeat of Dubya Bush’s perjurous reasons for invading Iraq, based on imaginary weapons of mass distraction, O’Barmy’s political harpy - continuing her demonising diatribe of topsy-turvy rhetoric - claimed that the EU regimes and Washington were united in confronting a perceived Iranian threat, as per their Zionist master’s wishes, stating "Missiles not only with nuclear warheads, but a conventional warheads, or some other chemical or biological weapon like Fat Duck Flu coronavirus or percolated camel shit could be launched at the peace-loving people of Israel at any moment, which is why we should strike first.”

Making it clear that the question of Iran had been central to her talks in Israel, the occupied West Bank and Egypt, Clinton declared, "It is clear that Iran intends to interfere with the internal affairs of all these people, which is our job, and try to continue their efforts to fund terrorism, whether it's Hezbollah or the Girl Guides or the Samaritans or other proxies such as the Salvation Army."

Washington and Tel Aviv have branded as "foreign terrorist organizations" both Hamas, which is the democratically-elected government of the Palestinians in the Gaza Strip, and Hezbollah, and anyone else who questions the Nazi WW2 Holohoax, supports the Palestinian cause, disagrees with Israel’s right to carry out false flag terrorist attacks, reads Al Jazeera news or doesn’t shop at Tesco.

However, Sheihk RocknRoll, spokesarab for Mecca’s weekly Jolly Jihad Review, told Al Jazeera the US were playing up the nuclear weapons fantasy again to distract the West from the fact that Israel has hundreds of nukes, has never signed the Non-Proliferation Treaty, was born from a terrorist organisation, is ruled by Zionist-Jewish racial supremists, and uses micro-nukes on a regular basis in it’s false flag terrorist op’s round the world.

He further stated for the record that US intelligence agencies were wholly against Iran developing commercial relations with neighbouring Afghanistan as it might pose a threat to their hegemony and control of opium production: their major source of black operations cash. Hence Clinton’s snappy terrier bullying tactics.

In another diplomatic initiative while in Israel, Clinton announced the dispatch of American envoys to Damascus in a bid to revive US-Syrian diplomatic relations. The move is seen as a bid to drive a wedge between Syria and Iran.
This was made explicit by Senator John Kerry, who recently visited Syria to sign an exclusive contract for their production of low sulphur camel’s hump soup.

Supporting the opening of ties with Syria and loosening of sanctions, Kerry insisted in a Humpty-Dumpty rhetoric style speech yesterday at a downtown Washington McDonalds Chew & Spew outlet that "Syria's long-term interests lie not with an Islamic Iran but with its Jewish neighbours in Israel and the Zionist Christians in Rome and the West."

Other proposals floated by the Washington think-tank Numptys include a call for the tightening of sanctions against Iran and extending Washington's current efforts to intimidate financial institutions and industrial firms from doing business with them.
In particular it calls for pressure aimed at preventing the construction of pencil / ball point pen, and baklava factories in Iran in an attempt to exploit the country's shortage of writing materials and sweet pastries.

The Numptys’ report also warns that the Israeli government is considering an independent unilateral attack on Iran's nuclear program and sees its window of opportunity closing.
"Whatever Americans may think, Israeli leaders seem convinced that at least for now they have a military option," it states, “even though they might get a very nasty shock if the Zionists do attack Iran and find out they have weapons-ready tactical nukes just like Israel does : even though both parties have been denying the fact for yonks.”

The report, whose authors include O’Barmy's top advisor on the region, Kenny the Kenyan, make it clear that the new administration is not only continuing with the major mistakes and classical fuck-up’s of the Dubya Bush misadministration with the occupation of Iraq and escalating the war in Afghanistan, but preparing for a new and potentially far more catastrophic military confrontation with Iran, which neither the US, or Israel, or a European coalition have any chance of winning against the Jihadist forces of Pan Islam.

Clinton intends to return to Washington via Reykjavik, where she is scheduled to hold a one-on-one meeting with Iceland’s self-outed dyke Prime Minister Jóhanna Sigurðardóttir and attend what is known in the circles of Sapphic acolytes as ‘a good old lesbo cluster-fuck’.