Brown Threatens Iran : ‘See You Jimmy!’

British Prime Minister, ‘Gullible Gordon’ Brown, who knows less about nuclear physics that he does international finance or political science, went into one of his feverish saliva-spitting panic attack rants yesterday to appease his City of London Zionist masters and castigate, yet again, the Iranians for pursuing a domestic nuclear power option to fuel their national infrastructure.

Brown, dressed to impress in his tribal clan tartan kilt and British Racing Green socks with a ‘police-approved’ blunted skean dhu butter knife prominently displayed hanging next to his sporran, left no doubt as to his belligerent intentions as he recited, Polly parrot fashion, a speech composed and refined for him in both Washington and Tel Aviv by the Shylock Institute for Propaganda, threatening Iran with ‘stern sanctions’ if they didn’t halt enrichment of uranium immediately – if not sooner.

It has been rumoured these sanctions might well entail a total stop of all nuclear engineering equipment previously supplied to Iran by western European manufacturers, the UK included, which Russia has since been kind enough to provide and keep a rational Montesquieu balance of power in play throughout the war-torn region.

One Whitehall source who wishes to remain anonymous (Rupert Fuctifino of the Foreign Office’s Origami Department) confided to the war correspondent from the Tortoise Polishers Gazette that the continued pursuit of weapons of mass distraction by Iran, whether imaginary or true, would most definitely initiate sanctions by the UK, followed by pre-emptive military strikes by Israel and their Pavlovian running dog sycophants- the United States and the ‘European Coalition’.

Chasing the same old scaremongering cat up the same old street, Brown hit once again on the Israeli – Zionist concocted perjury that the sole purpose of Iran’s nuclear programme is the development of nuclear weapons with which to blast Israel out of existence.

Interrupted by hecklers who shouted “Bollocks! – yer only after control of th’ Straits of Hormuz an’ grabbin’ Iran’s oil under any excuse like yer did in Iraq, yer Zionist toady twat”, Brown paused as a troupe of dissenters from the ‘Real Common Purpose’ breakaway group were treated to a round of Taser shocks and a liberal dousing of pepper spray by his Blackwater security detail.

Brown, the prime minister that no one voted for, reiterated his warning that Iran faced a clear choice over its nuclear programme, with tougher sanctions for defying the international community.
He further stated that if Tehran continues to enrich uranium despite Western pressure it presents a ‘critical proliferation threat’ that could well upset Israel’s nuclear weapon hegemony in the region.

Extended sanctions against the postulated 'pro-nuclear' Tehran regime are expected to include a ban on the UK’s monthly exports to Iran of Birds custard powder, best back smoked bacon, Mars bars, jelly babies, dolly mixtures, fruit gums, Weetabix, Golden Golly marmalade, Bisto gravy browning and tinned rhubarb.