Monday, 28 November 2011

Will US Finally Declare War on Pakiland?

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Pakistan’s Prime Minister Dingbat Jaffacake and the head honcho of the Army, General Ashplant Pervo Bellendi, have, quite understandably, spit the proverbial dummy and reacted angrily to an attack on a remote border post in the shit-pit tribal district of Landfillabad in the early hours of Saturday morning by NATO jet fighters and helicopter gunships which levelled the entire shebang and snuffed 24 Paki troopers - plus maimed and crippled a further 13 – and frightened the shit out of a flock of goats.

The incident has heightened already frayed relations between Pakiland and the Great Satan - and the incompetent NATO - who’ve manage to make a total bodge up of yet another ‘precision bombing’ mission – but hit Pakiland ‘by mistake’ (sic) for a change, and not some hapless Afghan school, hospital or orphanage as is the norm.

NATO Command HQ in Kabul issued a “Whoops-Sorry!” dispatch to Islamabad upon receiving the bad news – terming their fubar a "tragic unintended incident" – and pledging to conduct an investigation into why, while equipped with zillions of buck’s worth of precision gear - satellite navigation systems and laser-guided ordnance – the fighter pilots still don’t know where Afghanistan ends and Pakiland begins – regardless of having access to all of the latter’s border post map grid references.

Secretary-General Antlers Foggy Numpmussen, the inept NATO chief, informed one reporter from the Snafu Gazette that “We’ve sent the Paki PM a Very-Sorry-gram and some flowers over the internet – and have ordered an immediate emergency dispatch parachute drop of 24 of Wal-Mart’s finest Stay-Fresh insulated body bags from our Bagram Air Base in Afghanistan to help out until they can dig some graves.”

Numpmussen’s condolence message was followed by a joint statement from the Great Satan’s Secretary of Defence, the senile septuagenarian Leo ‘The Schnozz’ Vendetta, and the rug-munching Secretary of Sleaze, Hilarious Rodent Clinton, to a reporter from the Crocodile Tears Review, assuring the Pakiland hierarchy of a thorough investigation into the incident and not some cover-up and whitewash job like the 9/11 Commission inquiry into the Israeli Mossad’s 2001 false flag terrorist attacks on New York and Washington DC.

The Rodent further stressed in her hypocritical statement “I can’t emphasise enough the importance of the US-Pakiland partnership – the commercial, diplomatic and military aspects – all of which serve our Rothshite crime syndicate Master’s Zionist geo-political ambitions to a tee – even if your troops do unfortunately keep getting snuffed by accident. Oh well, no point in dwelling on spilt milk, as my Mother used to say – and we all know where ‘sympathy’ is in the dictionary – right between ‘shit’ and ‘syphilis’.”

“Just ignore the rumours rattling down the Western intelligence grapevine that this attack was a warning for ignoring President O’Barmy’s polite request to drop the gas pipeline deal with Iran – which you guys running the Paki government, in your infinite wisdom, chose to ignore.”

Conversely, the Pakiland army chief, General Bellendi, speaking to one press hack from ‘Order into Chaos’ magazine, declared “This is totally unacceptable and deplorable – a grave infringement of Pakistan's sovereignty - intentionally targeting our military posts and personnel to teach us some lesson like a wilful child. “

“And do not give me any of this ‘Insha’Allah’ bullshit – the attack was deliberate – the Great Satan’s neo-cons just trying it on to see how far they can go with their insidious imperialist games – and what kind of reaction they get out of us for doing a couple of deals with our good Muslim next door neighbours in Iran.”
“If, as they claim, it was an accident, then who the fuck’s in charge of these fighter pilots in Afghanistan - Captain Snort and his Pippin Fort intelligence unit - on secondment to NATO from Camberwick Green?

“These soldiers were from our elite Special Forces 21st Cannon Fodder Regiment – and they all had new uniforms and boots too – who’s going to pay for that lot, I ask you? Why don’t they go and bomb someone else’s ‘Stan’ for a change? There’s plenty of them around here to practice on.”

So, the question of the day is - will the ZioNazi raving psychopaths pulling the strings of the US of A’s Great Satan regime finally stop fucking around with snide attacks and come out and actually declare war on their ‘good ole allies’ in Pakiland - in an attempt to seize control of the only ‘Islamic’ nuclear arsenal on the planet (shhh! - apart from Iran’s) – and add yet another Muslim sovereign state to their conquest list for the ever-expanding Greater Israel empire?

Thought for the day: Fuck the Project for a New American Century – and their all-new replacement ‘Foreign Policy Initiative’ - and the ‘forged’ Protocols of the Greedy Bastard Elders of Zion - and the Rothshite crime syndicate’s New World Order – and any other fucker and their dog who thinks attacking Third World nations is the US global bully’s God-given Manifest Destiny right.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

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