WickedLeaks Assange Faces Extradition

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

WickedLeaks’ founder and head honcho, the Ozzie-born super whistle-blower Julian Blancmange, has failed in his appeal against extradition from the UK to Sweden concerning allegations of carnal incompetence and being drunk in charge of a condom during Viagra-fuelled sex romps with a couple of kiss n tell (more at ‘kiss n whinge’) Stockholm slappers out to fuck a celebrity – and make a few bob off their joint media exposé.

Swedish authorities are demanding Blancmange’s presence to answer politically-motivated accusations of raping one woman – (cowgirl fashion? –Que? WTF?) - while wearing a torn condom - and double-holing another bitch doggy style in Stockholm last year without a change of condoms between front and back door penetrations – apparently branded as so dastardly a crime in socially-correct Sweden that it surpasses the subversive publication of top secret government and military communications in the good ole US of A.

WickedLeaks (formerly Snitch-n-Grassers.com) has upset the intelligence community’s status quo to the point of galvanising an epidemic of bureaucratic nail-biting Gaviscon addiction by publishing a mass of confidential diplomatic cables made available by whistle-blowers of conscience - which have not only embarrassed a host of foreign governments and international businesses but resulted in the US issuing one of their moronic Wild West Tombstone style ‘Wanted: Dead or Alive – Reward’ bulletins for Blancmange’s sorry hide.

However, in their ruling the President of the Queen's Bench Division, Chief Justice Shylock Scumstein, sitting with Justice Izzy Weaselberg, decided that the issuance of the European arrest warrant that led to Blancmange’s original collaring and detention, and all subsequent proceedings to achieve extradition was not only lawful but also proportionate.

Hence they decided that a previous conspired ruling in favour of extradition must be upheld so that once in Sweden the US government can exert pressure on the shifty Stockholm judiciary to have Blancmange further extradited to their Guantanamo Bay interrogation and torture centre on charges of cyber terrorism and espionage – the latter carrying a possible death sentence penalty.

So, Blancmange’s verdict does not fare well for computer programmer Garry McKinnon either, who hacked into various US government and CIA-NASA websites years ago in search of the real X-Files and is still fighting a US-biased extradition warrant to ship him to the States where the vindictive military intelligence want to dump him down the chute at their covert joint US / Alien genetic hybrid research facility at Dulce Base – deep under the Archuleta Mesa in New Mexico with a cheery “Bye Garry – go meet the real little green men.”

While Blancmange's lawyers have announced they will appeal today’s verdict before the Supreme Court, perhaps the UK’s incumbent Libservative Coalition government will magnanimously step in and grant both Garry and Julian the protection of the all-new Police Reform & Social Irresponsibility Act 2011 – with the added indemnity of ‘special mission’ status as they did for the ex-Israeli foreign minister Tipzi Livid recently to prevent her arrest on war crimes charges under the statutes of the Universal Jurisdiction Law – for the deaths of some 1,400 Palestinian non-combatant women and children in the IDF’s 2008-2009 Festive Season 22-day Operation Kill Every Fucker campaign against the hapless population of the besieged Gaza Strip.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.