Why is the Asylum Empty?

Hello out there! Is anyone listening? Whoever left the lunatic asylum gate open please go back and close it again – immediately if not sooner - and then round up all the escapees.

Oh yes, the bloody lot of them – especially the ones who’ve sneaked into the House of Conmans and the numpty Organisation for Economic Co-operation & Development’s think tank and have been busy conjuring up this propaganda spin about Broken Britain perhaps sliding back into ‘a recession’ if we don’t all work harder.
Well, those of the common herd still lucky enough to be gainfully employed anyways – unlike the two and a half million on the Jobcentre’s books as being without a job as no more exist.

But let’s not mention the ‘forgotten’ couple of million unemployed who are no longer getting any form of Jobseeker’s Allowance and hence now abstain from signing on at the Jobcentre with it being a waste of time.

So ‘Recession! Recession!’ – the very mention of the word drives grown men into blithering idiocy and galloping anxiety attacks – especially when the gutter press and criminal capitalist media start spouting that we’re slipping back into one – totally ignoring the fact we were never in a ‘recession’ to start with.
It was an all-out and full-blown ‘Depression’ – with a large capital D – and we’re still in it, with a cat in Hell’s chance of things picking up while this crooked and fatally-flawed fractional reserve lending system of the banksters remains in place – and we keep outsourcing to some Third World shithole instead of doing the jobs ourselves – plus remain a reluctant member of the doomed EUSSR pantomime.

Outsourcing = no jobs, thanks to that stupid old Tory skanger, Maggie Twatcher, who de-industrialised Britain and ‘broke’ it – and now she’s gone potty. Hurray!

So, for all you out-of-work chaps (and chapettes), enjoy the freedom your poverty provides – and too the quality time available. While learning how to survive on your £60 quid a week benefits, why not learn a new skill too – apart from the art of shoplifting at one of our ubiquitous Greedy Grocer supermarket chains.

Perhaps take up knitting shrouds – or building tumbrels – or sharpening guillotine blades – or get into a spot of cardio-vascular grave digging as the proletariat of our once-sceptred isles, fed up with living on landfill sites and walking ten miles to the nearest for a Trussell Trust food parcel or a cup of soup, set off at a pace, galloping headlong towards a violent revolution.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a nut-infested area and may contain traces of lunacy and/or squirrel shit.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.