Jock Students into Effigy Burnings

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Life-sized papier mache effigies of the US Kenyan cuckoo President, Barky O’Barmy and Broken Britain’s self-promoting dog wanker of a Prime Minister, Posh Dave Scameron, engaged in what one observer mirthfully described as ‘a beast with two backs’ coupling posture – and with an EUSSR flag draped over their nakedness - were burned atop a bonfire last Friday night by bonny Scotland’s St Andrews University’s Conservative Student Association during a drunken revel / sex orgy in the remote and concealed depths of the local Doggers Wood.

Reports that the effigies were arranged in an act of sodomy ‘and’ cloaked in the EUSSR flag have stirred up accusations from the University’s senior staff of black magic rituals and witchcraft being practiced by the out-of control student body.
To add to the scandal the gutter press red top tabloids, specifically the Gorbals Gazette, have now gone into speculation and rumour mode, fielding highly embarrassing questions regarding the carnal positioning of the effigies: who was on top and giving who one up the back passage – and was it a reach-around jack-off conformance deal providing mutual pleasure?

Matthew McDuffer, president of the St Andrews Conservative Association, informed a reporter from the Jocks in Frocks Review that “These students are way out of order. This was the President of the global bully whose effigy they desecrated in a display of implied homosexual activity and then burned. So, now the Yanks have passed this new ‘Violent Radicalization and Homegrown Terrorism Prevention Act’ don’t be at all surprised if the University gets targeted by a couple of their nasty UAV Predator drones this coming week by way of revenge.”

“Good God, what were these morons thinking of? While the rumours do abound concerning what that darkie chap O’Barmy gets up to in Chicago bath houses and the back of limousines with his drug-pusher faggot playmate Larry Sinclair, I very much doubt that David Scameron, as a married man with a very shaggable wife like Sammy, has engaged in naked gay romps since he left Eton and the public school homosexual culture – well, definitely after Oxford and the Bullingdon Club’s bumboy fraternity anyway.”

Genghis McTwatt, a former chairman of St Andrews Labour Society (and too himself a past target for effigy immolation in which he was positioned atop the bonfire stuck up the arse end of a sheep) described the burning incident as disgraceful, and "I can't imagine any other student activists of a major political party – except perhaps the BNP or UKIP – who would behave in this reprehensible manner. It's disgusting what these Bloshie bastards have done and I hope the Tory Party come out and condemn this obscene act."

"Really, the last thing a modern political party should be up to is burning an effigy of anyone, let alone the first semi-black impostor president of the USA – and one of Britain’s closest allies – after Israel."

The St Andrews University Conservative Society’s student membership has a past record of burning effigies of both domestic and foreign politicians, and too public figures who incur their wrath for whatever capricious reason – including such intellectually-deficient clots as Gordon Brown and his good buddy Lord Peter ‘Vermin in Ermine’ Scandalson - plus London bankster Baron Ja’akoff Rothshite - and international war criminal Tony Bliar – and the infamous Birmingham cat-binner, Mary ‘Moggy Killer’ Bale.

A radical cadre of the student group caused a hue and cry furore this summer when they burned a wicker work troika of the Holyrood establishment’s corruption-ridden scumbags - the SNP’s First Minister, Alex ‘Six Chins’ Salmond; Justice Secretary Kenny McAskill; and Caledonia’s split-arsed ex-Lord Advocate Elish Angiolini.

This was in protest for their officially-sanctioned conspiratorial cover-up of the burgeoning Hollie Greig paedophile rape scandal involving ranking Freemasons and officials from all departments of the Grampian region government authority: police, judiciary, social care workers, solicitors, doctors and teachers – and other members of the septic bureaucracy - who had sexually exploited and abused special needs children (both boys and girls) with impunity for over 20 years in and around Scotland’s notorious crime and kiddie fiddling capital of Scaberdeen.

Further, this same cabal of criminals had expedited the murders of those who sought to expose their evil perversions - a case the establishment-controlled media system refuse to investigate along with the legions of self-declared moral do-gooders and petitioned Westminster MPs - that will go down in the annals of infamy.

The issue reached a critical mass state in February 2010 when Sassenach investigative reporter Robert Green, canvassing for votes for the forthcoming election in which he intended to stand as a Parliamentary candidate so he could then demand an official investigation into the paedophilia scandal from the advantage of a seat in Holyrood, was arrested on a trumped-up ‘Breach of the Peace’ charge and subjected to a series of preliminary ‘in camera’ kangaroo court hearings at the backwater Stonehaven Sheriff’s Court and slapped with a gag order.

The student body spit the proverbial dummy and went ballistic when the court declared Mr Green would not be allowed the magnanimous luxury of a trial by a jury of his peers – which the St Andrews’ radicals regarded as a gross miscarriage of justice in the making – a conspiracy to silence a crusader who was wielding the banner of Truth - and the only honest man who had ever run for public office in Scaberdeen and wanted nothing more than to publicly expose the elitist pederast ring comprised of Sheriff Graeme Buchanan and his Ferryhill-based Tartan Tadgers Club - so they were brought to book and no longer able to sexually abuse and traumatise children at will - and to achieve a reckoning of long-overdue justice and closure for Hollie Greig and her mother Anne.

St Andrews Students’ Union spokesperson Fellattia McGammer informed one press hack from the Immolators Weekly that "As students we believe in political debate, engaging those who we disagree with, and that all students at St Andrews have a valid opinion to contribute.”

"While burning the effigies does not violate any laws, we believe that the ritual immolation of political or public figures who demonstrate a very disturbing economy concerning matters involving the truth and have the fetid stench of graft and corruption permeating from every pore deserve this treatment to draw attention to and illuminate their crimes.”

“Well, as to these moronic accusations of us employing witchcraft and the black arts of Dahomean voodoo to bring about political changes - considering the frenetic reaction to last Friday’s burn-a-thon, the effigy bonfires are certainly one way of getting a point of political dissent across and publicised – which is specifically that is the sentiment of the hapless taxpaying voters who are fed up of being shit on from a dizzy height by successive governments.”

“Thus, by this rule we consider any and all political or public figures - regardless of gender, race, religion and political or sexual persuasion - or any other cultural distinction – to be fair game for our weekend bonfires.”

“As to last Friday night’s, we consider Barky O’Barmy and Posh Dave Scameron both to be Zionist stooges whose crooked administrations are infested with shifty Shylocks and Fagins – which serve to put the outrageous and whimsical demands of the illegal and outlaw state of Israel before the interests of their own national taxpaying electorates – and to the detriment of the usurped Palestinian peoples by ignoring their privations and plight.”

Thought for the day: The Home Office has labelled the incident as an outrageous display of dissidence and claims the St Andrews students are suffering from ‘Oppositional Defiance Disorder’ – which is caused by surfing alternative news websites, asking awkward questions, thinking for oneself - and hence disbelieving what the government and mainstream corporate-fascist controlled media tell you – and is an aberrant mental condition that requires long-term treatment with veritable cocktail of full strength psychotic medications.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.