Plods Geared for Stop n Search Abuse

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

According to a report just leaked by whistle blowers working for Ox-Rat, the Big Brother abuse watchdog charity, the UK’s Plod Squads will soon be allowed to return to the dystopic days when they could stop and search people on the basis of their ethnic background - with the news threatening to ignite a row of Biblical proportions between Posh Dave Scameron’s government and civil liberties groups.

So-called ‘Sus Laws’ were scrapped in the 1980’s after the alleged targeting of coloured people (darkies) by white supremacist police officers led to race riots in London, Birmingstan and Liverpool.
However, recent Home Office police guidance, drafted under the watch of Theresa Maybe and leaked to Ox-Rat, sets down new rules that will once again allow race to be a basis for stop and search on the controversial grounds of “Ello,ello,ello, here comes a suspicious lookin’ darkie! Get the pepper spray an’ tasers ready lads – we might just have a raghead Muslim terrorist ter kick the shit out of here!”

The civil liberties group claims the proposal flies in the face of recommendations contained in the final report of Sir Wilberforce MacTwatt’s Inquiry into the 1993 murder of the visibly sun-tanned Stephen Lawrence – and would also breach Labour’s Equality Act 2010 – recently brought into force by the Libservative Coalition.

The Act, originally framed by the ginger-mingin’ Labour Deputy Leader Harriet Halfwitt, prohibits race discrimination by ‘public bodies’ – which actually does include the arrogantly autarchic Plod Squad, regardless of them boasting to be above the law and able to get away with the brutalisation or murders of innocent members of the public – as so frequently evidenced on live CCTV footage or witnessed by crowds of onlookers. (Brazilian electricians and G20 newspaper vendors)

Miss Winnebago Chuckabutty, director of policy for Ox-Rat, told a reporter from the Fascists Gazette that “Stopping and searching individuals, devoid of a genuine suspicion of any wrong-doing is divisive enough, without telling police they can directly discriminate on the grounds of race. Now they’ll be pulling up suspected pikey swan-roasters and gyppo kiddie sex pimps with their ‘Darkie Warrants’ left, right and centre. Just you mark my words and wait and see who cops for it first – Muslim Paki's and the Yardies – then it’ll be innocent Africans or Negroes going to a Halloween party dressed up with eye patches, hooked hands, brandishing plastic cutlasses, with a parrot on their shoulder and wearing a Jolly Roger t-shirt – arrested on suspicion of being Somali pirates.”

The MacTwatt Inquiry in 1999 severely criticised the Met’s inept Plod Squad for its inherent culture of racism and targeted corrupt police officers for their mishandling of the murder of Stephen Lawrence – a British-born black teenager - who was killed in an unprovoked racist knife attack by a gang of white yobsters in April 1993.
The principle aggressor, Lenny Thugg, was the son of the feared drug-smuggling Scally Gang boss Frank Thugg who paid the Plod Squad off with a series of bribes to Det Sgt Jack Pondscum – to obstruct the investigation of the murder and protect the suspects – specifically the criminally-liable Lenny.

Do you think that Section 60 of the Criminal Justice and Public Order Act 1994 is a big bag of shit? Is the all-new Equality Act more at scent than substance? Do this Libservative Coalition have a fucking clue what’s going on around them?

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and misaligned references.

Oh, and by the way, fuck the Plod Squad and Big Brother – and his sister – and the New World Order.