Paki’ Non-Bomber Gets Life-Plus

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The nasty Muslim type person convicted of an attempted false flag car bomb attack in New York's Times Square has been sentenced to life in prison.
Faisal bin Patsy, a Pakistani-born US citizen and unemployed actor, pleaded guilty in June to a list of weapons and terrorism charges longer than a giraffe’s foreskin.

At his sentencing in Manhattan, bin Patsy, reading from the teleprompter script crafted by the CIA’s propaganda department, told the judge "War with the Muslims has just begun and the Great Satan will face imminent defeat when the Islamic suitcase nukes start going ‘Ka-fucking-Boom!’ in major US cities.”

Mr bin Patsy returned to the dock twice in response to calls of “Encore!” and receive rounds of cacophonous applause from the courtroom audience for his stellar, absolutely brilliant Emmy-class performance at portraying the disgruntled Islamic terrorist out to wage a personal jihad against the dark forces of the United States of Israel and single-handedly bring about the destruction of Western Democracy.

Standing erect and defiant, bin Patsy took a single glance at the teleprompter screen then declared “We mujihadeen fighters of the Jolly Jihad movement don't accept your kikester democracy or your freedom," he said, adding for effect and emphasis that he rejected the court's authority for reason of the fact "Muslims don't abide by human laws.”
This confirmed for all and sundry, especially so the attending media, that the adherents of Islam are born terrorists to the core thus justifying the Zionist- controlled US puppet government declaring war on the religion itself and Muslims globally – and further justifying the rogue state of Israel’s genocidal attacks on Gaza and the Palestinian Muslim population.

Federal Judge Miriam Scumbaum inquired if bin Patsy had sworn allegiance to the United States when he took the oath of citizenship in April last year – to which he replied “I did swear it but had my fingers crossed, just like they do in Hollywood movies.”
However bin Patsy displayed little affection for his native country of Pakistan either, calling it a ‘slave nation – a Western puppet’ (albeit equipped with its own nuclear deterrent) - just as the United States was a slave of the outlaw Zionist state of Israel and the Rothshite crime family syndicate – then concluding “I am now a citizen of pan-Islam and we are many.”

Bin Patsy was arrested as he tried to book a ticket on a Greyhound bus from NY to Dubai while sporting a typically Muslim Jihadist beard and wearing a ‘bomber’ jacket and a baseball cap bearing a ‘I love al Qaeda’ legend.
Under interrogation, the unemployed actor revealed he had gone to Pakistan's Northern Jaffacake tribal region in December 2009 for bomb training with the Taliban’s radical Umar Al Useless Incompetence Brigade.
It was here he was tasked with blowing up Times Square and received $5,000 bucks in cash from a co-conspirator, Mohammed al Grasser, who did part-time work for the CIA as a snitch and heroin smuggler.

Imposing a mandatory life sentence on Faisal bin Patsy, Judge Scumbaum told the court that the penalty would have been doubled if the chemicals loaded into the back of the Nissan ‘Bomb Carrier’ model 4 x 4 vehicle parked in Times Square by the accused had been mixed together so they could have gone Bang! if ignited and not just smoulder suspiciously.

“This court is showing leniency in sentencing due the fact Mr bin Patsy was thoughtful enough to leave the 4 x 4 SUV in a 'No Parking' zone, with the vehicle’s doors wide open, the engine running and the hazard lights on – plus a ‘Bomb Aboard’ sign in the back window, so the authorities would realise it was part of another Muslim terrorist attack and call the news media to broadcast the event.”

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and misaligned references.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views – Purveyors of Bespoke Satire – enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of political incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby.