Friday, 29 October 2010

French Snobs Diss Jap Crap Manga Art

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

A posing French aristocrat who claims to be descended from the Bourbon monarchy is seeking a court order to stop a Japanese artist exhibiting his work at the Palace of Versailles.

Work by Twatisho Fukarami, who studied and honed his craft and skills at the prestigious Wallace & Gromet Institute for Contemporary Crap, and blends Japanese classical art with manga-style modernity, is planned to be exhibited until the Yuletide Santa Claus’ grotto is erected in the throne room in mid-December.

However the ridiculously arrogant 96-year old Prince Sixte-Henri de Bourbon- Godemiche believes Fukarami's brightly coloured work dishonours the memory of his bottom feeding parasitic ancestors - most of whom fortunately failed to survive the ‘1789 Terror’ of the French Revolution and were carted off to pay homage to Madame Guillotine in a shit-streaked tumbrel.

The prince and fellow ’traditionalist’ protesters from the Paris-based Society de le Faggot have had the raging audacity to declare that Fukarami’s work denatures the exquisite taste of French culture and their regard for beauty and sophistication – yet they have the bad taste to install that vulgarian goblin-featured Hobbit ‘Sarkozy’ as a President in the Elysee Palace.

Admittedly, Fukarami's work sits in striking contrast to the classical and pretentious vulgarism of Versailles, the palace built during the reign of Louis XVI, named 'Sun King III' due the countless hours he wasted at the local tanning parlour working on his bronzy along with Queen ‘Cake and Eat It’ Marie Antoinette – only to end up with his head missing due a total lack of political and diplomatic acumen.

Twatisho Fukarami has been dubbed "the Japanese equivalent of Andy Warthog" and has been exhibited and feted across the world – especially so for his work in Brazil and West African – bringing a touch of artistic colour and splendour to their endemic toxic landfill sites with his pink plastic versions of sculptor Anthony Gormless’ sentinel statues.

He describes the palace at Versailles as one of the greatest symbols of Western decadence – the embodiment of monarchical ostentatious excess and waste which perhaps was one of the greatest offending contributions to kick-starting the French Revolution.
“I mean, there you are in the 1780’s, on the outside of this magnificent gilded edifice, probably herding a few goats, covered in shit and working for a penance – a couple of sou’s a week. Now that’s got to inspire the anarchist radical in all of us to storm the Bastille and get heavily into a campaign of mass regicide.”

Fukarami's striking works at Versailles include an ensemble of hi-viz mustard and chrome wheelie bins resplendent with flashing strobe lights in the palace courtyard – only surpassed by a towering fibreglass and papier mâché phallic sculpture, originally titled ‘the Penis Erect’ and adorned with obscene socialist graffiti scribed by a gang of Banksie wannabee’s from a Marseille Tourettes clinic. However local wits have since renamed the priapic structure Mister Pointy.

This isn’t the first occasion that the whingeing Bourbon-Godemiche dynasty have resorted to litigation against what they class as vulgar art being exhibited in ‘their’ palace. A mere two years ago, Prince Sixte-Henri's nephew, the egocentric Prince Charles-Emmanuel de Bourbon-Godemiche, yet another hubristic aristocrat with an attitude problem, sought to ban a show by US sculptor Jeff Kuntts, but failed in the courts – much to his eternal dismay – and costs.

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Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of slanderous innuendo.

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