Monday, 18 October 2010

Bishop Alzheimer’s Halloween Hypocrisy

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

A Roman Catholic bishop has cautioned parents in his congregation, under threat of excommunication – and eternal damnation – to dissuade their children from dressing up in Satanic black ghoulish Goth gear at Halloween – (and looking like priests and nuns in their archaic Gothic black cassocks, habits and wimples).

The Right Reverend Kieran Bogbrush, the Bishop of Skidrow-on-Sea’s ‘St Sodom’s Church for Latter Day Catamites’, obviously suffering from a bout of selective memory, has declared he is determined to reclaim the festival as a Christian celebration. In the Christian calendar, Halloween falls on the day before All Hallows, an occasion to honour the perpetual inventory of psychotic deviants that comprise the ranks of dodgy Catholic saints.
The Bishop suggested in its stead that children should dress up as saints or the Shites of Columbus rather than traditional garb as Halloween has no meaning to it whatsoever and represents a waste of pumpkins being carved into Jack O’Lanterns.

Alas, the Rt Rev Bogbrush ignores the cast iron historic fact that Halloween was originally the Celtic Druid festival of Samhain, established from the ‘old religion’ of the worship of Gaia, the Earth Mother (Mother Nature), and the Tree and the Stone, thousands of years before the fiction of Christianity and the Gospels were conjured up by criminal parties of self-interest, bent on establishing a culture of mass population subservience and political control.

Yet another pagan festival hijacked under the edicts of Catholic corruption of the truth to serve their own nefarious ends, just as they shanghaied the sacred pagan worship sites for their obnoxious and intrusive temples, dedicated to the Virgin, the Holy Trinity – and the disgusting practices of homosexuality and paedophilia.

Hence, entirely missing the ironic hypocrisy contained within his protest - that the early church adopted the sacred pagan sites and festivals as exclusively Christian, this man in black with the big hat has the blatant audacity and unqualified arrogance to pronounce Halloween as superstitious Devil worship.
Hmmm, superstition indeed - while the Vatican has the brazen hubris to maintain its 2010 year-old money-spinning confidence trick that’s still rolling in the filthy lucre and filling the offertory plates of their one true god –Mammon – under the deceptive pantomime that Jesus Saves (but the Vatican invests).

Obviously publicity-seeking stunts like the Halloween denunciation are a pathetic attempt to renew control and get the flocks of sheeple back into church on a Sunday. Perhaps they’d have more chance by putting Bingo and a few strippers on the schedule– as we already have the stand-up comedian - in the pulpit.

Conversely arch-atheist Richard Dorkins told a reporter from the Blasphemer’s Gazette that the Bishop was guilty of total hypocrisy when labelling Halloween as a piece of ignorant superstition. “I mean to say, what could be more superstitious than the Catholic Church’s belief in the New Testament’s purported loving, caring and omnipotent God - a character wholly disassociated from the Old Testament’s ‘jealous and vengeful’ God – or in the midst of our technological age where Science is the only deity worthy of worship, to believe in such utter rot as virgin birth and resurrection from the dead.”

“The Vatican’s simply pissed off and stymied as they are no longer sanctioned to cast blasphemers and heretics to the Inquisition – and to burn at the stake.”
“Now here we have Bishop Bogbrush pontificating over the moral issues of the celebration of the pagan festival of Samhain while ignoring the fact he’s a ranking member of the biggest kiddie fiddling organization in history – the Vatican’s Roman Catholic Church.”
“Would it not be the perfect Halloween ‘trick or treat’ stunt to debag this august Bishop and have him gang-buggered by a legion of choirboys.”

Allergy warning: This article was written in an apostate-infested area and may contain traces of heresy.

Oh, and by the way, fuck the Vatican and their paedo' perv' Shites of Columbus.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views – Purveyors of Bespoke Satire – enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of political incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

The Abrahamic religions are the real Satan.