Drag Queen Hit by Transvestite Express

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

A woman has been arrested on suspicion of murder after a man wearing ladies clothes was deliberately, and with malice aforethought, pushed under a tube train.
Officers from the British Transport Plod Squad were called to King's Cross-Dresser Station in central London on Monday evening to investigate confused reports that a woman, believed to be a man in drag, had been purposely shoved off the platform into the path of an oncoming tube train on the Pickled Willy Line.

The incident caused rush-hour chaos for thousands of commuters who buggered off en masse to city centre pubs in a fit of impatient disgust after the Pickled Willy line service was suspended while cleaning operatives fought off a pack of voracious starving rats to enable their team mates to round up a full set of body parts that had been splattered across the rail tracks, then hose down the remaining blood and gore.

Detective Superintendent Arthur Bogbrush, the British Transport Plod Squad’s senior investigating officer, informed one reporter from the Gender Blender Gazette "Several witnesses to the ‘pushing incident’ have come forward and luckily the station’s CCTV system was, unlike 7/7, working for a change and recorded this criminal act.”
“At first it was thought a woman had been deliberately shoved off the platform until our forensics team arrived at the scene and discovered the supposed female victim was wearing a set of false boobs, and had a pair of bollocks and a cock stashed under her skirt. Very kinky indeed.”

Police have since discovered that the victim, Mr Rupert ‘call me Marion’ Skank, was the general manager at a branch of Victoria’s Secret, the erotic lingerie store chain, on Grays Inn Road, Bloomsbury, and travelling home to his Middlesex address when he met with the unfortunate accident.

Within hours of the incident hitting the media airwaves, rampant rumours started to abound that the British Transport Plod Squad were seeking to interview a woman answering to the description of the notorious ‘Coventry Cat Binner’, Mary Bale, who it was believed might have been in London on one of her nefarious moggy assault missions and acted upon some inscrutable pathological sadistic impulse to commit homicidal mischief yet again.

However, BTP officers eventually identified a certain Ms Feryl Beryl McYobb, the 17-year old leader of the area’s disreputable ‘Slag Bag’ girlie gang, from the station’s CCTV footage as the perpetrator of the crime.

McYobb - who has past several past convictions for violence and was prosecuted by the RSPCA for strangling a pit bull terrier in Hyde Park last year - was arrested and taken into custody while smoking a bifta and downing Migrane Mixers and Old Headbanger lager chasers with her gang of Amazon cohorts in the beer garden of the Asbo Arms pub on Yardie Street,

Upon getting cuffed McYobb exclaimed “Hey, it woz only a bit of an effin’ joke. So what’s all the bleedin’ fuss about? He woz a ravin’ tranny poofter wiv no dress sense whatever. Just another faggot in a frock wot got squashed an’ it serves the twat right fer standin’ too close ter the edge of the platform.”

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of slanderous innuendo.

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