Sunday, 10 February 2013

Whitehall Plonk Exempt from Austerity Cuts

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Well Britain might be broken and beyond repair – a total basket case Debtocracy, fallen from Providence’s grace and her former Empire’s Day glory, to follow the established Third World handcart to Hell template – in hock up to the eyeballs with the Rothshite crime syndicate and the Edomite Mafia’s Bank of the Golden Calf.
However, around Westminster the Con-Dem cabinet ministers are still serving up £1,000 quid a-go bottles of Chateau de Costalot from the government wine cellar - and a single easy-peasy guess as to which hapless fuckers foot the £55,000 per annum bill.

Yep, you gottit - the star-crossed taxpaying public herd - yet again. While these scumbags are slashing the welfare benefits of the unemployed, single parents, the homeless and those most vulnerable members of our sick society – the disabled – the blind, and lame and mentally handicapped – Shitehall’s wine cellars and booze bond are exempted from the Libservative Coalition’s austerity drive – in the name of providing ‘hospitality’ for the common herd’s social betters and foreign VIP’s.

This delinquent abuse of the public trust and funds has copped for a veritable shit storm of caustic criticism from socio-political activists and government corruption sentinels on 24/7 ‘Scumbag Watch’ since the unsavoury, damning facts were leaked by deep mole Parliamentary whistle-blowers working for Ox-Rat, the snitch and grassers group who once again prove to be the bane of our dodgy political apparatchiks and kleptocratic civil service - with their ‘J’accuse’ fickle finger of Fate pointing at the fat cat hypocrites infesting the House of Conmans and Shitehall.

Ron ‘Pitbull’ O’Scrote of the Taxpayers' Alliance group joined with Bev McSkanger, spokeswoman for the paramilitary government spending watchdog Lucullan Waste, in condemning this extravagant and imprudent culture - with both opining to a press hack from the Ripoffs Gazette that “Here we go again – another hypocrisy first wiv the proletariat gettin’ shafted up the arse.”

“We might be the victims of this bankster-designed triple-dip ‘depression’ – an’ let’s call a spade a fuckin’ spade cos that’s wot it is – so forget the recession propaganda bullshit cos we’re the ones coppin’ fer all these austerity cuts right across the social benefits domain – but the effin’ powers that be – the political elite – are still quaffin’ fine wines when they could call inter Bargain Booze like the rest of the votin’ public.”

“But is that the case? Is it fuck as like cos yer got MPs and peers swiggin’ bottles of 1982 vintage Chateau Margaux Bordeaux an’ squanderin £1,100 a bottle at the taxpayer’s expense when they could be buyin’ the stuff wot the Greedy Grocer supermarket chains have on offer – like Pestco’s ‘Finest’ Chateau le Catpiss at £4 quid a litre.”

“Not a cat in effin’ Hell’s chance cos they ain’t affected by the same austerity cutbacks we are - an’ splurged out on hospitality an’ popped the corks of 1,380 bottles of champagne at a total of 230 official parties last year.”
“It’s an effin’ fact - our not fit fer purpose trough hogs are no longer value fer money – even if they ever were. These twats got through nearly 5,000 bottles of plonk worth more than £55,000 quid over the past twelve months – wiv bottles of 1906 vintage Hine Grande Fine brandy worth £1,472 a throw an’ bein’ used ter flambĂ© the Christmas puddin’ in the House of Conmans canteen.”

“The Foreign Office claims most of the costs of their wine cellar have bin offset by sellin’ 180 bottles of Conchita del Slutt Merlot worth £44,000 nicker in some fantasy self-fundin’ policy. Well that’s okay then – or is it – cos who the fuck paid out £44,000 nicker fer the piss in the first place – an’ £48,955 quid of our money woz blown restockin’ the cellar.”

Unsurprisingly, the costs of the Government Wine Cellar have been a closely guarded secret in previous years – with anyone grassing on the ostentatious waste of public money ending up ‘suicided’ in the David Kelly Memorial Woods on Grassy Knoll Peak and their wrists slashed with a blunt pruning knife then stuffed inside a large MI5-issue North Face holdall.

Conversely, the consequences be fucked – Gordon ‘Incapability’ Brown and Business Secretary Lord Peter Scandalson (aka Vermin in Ermine) signed off on the wastrel New Labour government spending £80,662 quid from the public purse topping up stocks in 2009-2010 ready for the Tories taking office.

Thought for the day. How do you know when a politician’s lying? Their lips move.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references along with lashings of nano-particle cynicism and genetically-modified bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

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