Orwellian Tip-Toe Goes Hop-Step-Jump

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

In what British privacy campaigners are describing as the biggest personal information grab since the last big personal information grab – this time around targeting the UK common herd demographics’ National Ill-Health Service records, the Con-Dem coalition government, in compliance with the latest of the EUSSR’s ‘Read This, Tremble & Obey’ demands, are set to launch a Nosy Twats data mining operation of such encompassing geometric proportions that Rio Tinto and BHP Billiton have been contracted to assist with the project.

Forming the foundation of this latest move to advance the Big Brother panopticon surveillance / totalitarian society agenda at an exponential rate will be an NHS programme named ‘Every Fucker Counts’ with family GPs being coerced to make available confidential records revealing their patients’ drinking habits, waist sizes and illnesses – along with a full schlemiel of embarrassing complaints – such as saggy man tits, ingrown foreskins, chronic constipation, septic genital piercings, haemorrhoid banding and galloping minge rot.

The data will include weight, cholesterol levels, body mass index, pulse rate, family health history, alcohol consumption, smoking status and drug addictions – along with a diagnosis of everything from cancer to heart disease to mental illness to self-harming tendencies – plus dates of birth, postcodes and NHS numbers – with the files stored in Brussels on the EUSSR’s Triple Six Great Beast computerised data banks – ready to be hacked into – or sold off to a plethora of third parties – as per our national Plod Squad criminal records – including fingerprints and DNA – have already been for several years past.

However, Chlamydia Ffitch-Gargoyle, spokeswoman for the Ministry of What Can We Fuck With Next, informed the media that all data will be secured and anonymous - then deleted after analysis – a disingenuous statement which elicited a most scathing and negative response from Bev McSkanger, director of the ‘Mind Yer Beak’ privacy advocates charity.
“Under these proposals where the twats are demandin’ ‘patient identifiable components’ – then an individual’s medical confidentiality is henceforth dead in the effin’ water an’ there’s fuck all we can do about it – apart from stop goin’ ter effin’ doctors or hospitals.”

“It’s like this shithouse Liverpool Care Pathway scheme wot’s snuffin’ our oldies faster than the Nazi gas ovens – an’ the public’s bin told sweet fuck all about wot’s goin’ on – an’ no twat’s given their permission fer this ter be happenin’ - while our quacks are bein’ strong-armed inter handin’ over confidential patient records – or else.”

Harry ‘Pitbull’ Gnasher, secretary of the privacy group Kunt Watch, spoke with a reporter from the I-Spy Review, opining that “GPs will be ordered to send monthly updates on their patients to a central database run by the NHS’s Health and Social Care Information Centre – which automatically gets passed on to the EUSSR’s Big Brother data mining centre in Brussels where the 666 Beast computer centre sorts the wheat from the chaff and issues footnotes to every single medical report - which go back to family doctors with ‘recommendations’ that might doom some hapless oldie to a dose of the Liverpool Care Pathway euthanasia treatment the next time they’re admitted to hospital.”

“As for the rest of us – the human herd – they’re screening our DNA to see who might be useful down the road and who’s got dodgy genes and is ear-marked for the chop when the big human cull comes - and the unlucky survivors get forcibly micro-chipped just like your pet dog or cat.”

Thought for the day. Prior to the 2010 general election the Tory Party, led by our Prime Minister ‘without a mandate’ Posh Dave Scameron - while in their buoyant canvassing campaign trail ‘promises’ mode, condemned New Labour’s pet project of creating mega-databases and insisted they’d put an end to Tony Bliar’s I/D control freak mania.

Conversely, and in typical fashion of what we have come to expect from the lying Tory scumbags – and too their equally duplicitous Lib-Dum coalition partners – the smarmy twat of a Health Secretary Jeremy ‘BSkyB’ Hunt committed himself to being branded an even bigger pariah by saying ‘fuck civil liberties’ in a drive to create a paperless NHS by 2018 – with multi-millions of private medical records of UK citizens to be handed around between hospitals, GPs, care homes, local councils, insurance companies, European paedophile groups, computer hackers and their associated identity thief pals – with CDs and hard copy print-outs spread across every landfill site from Land’s End to the Bosporus.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references along with lashings of nano-particle cynicism and genetically-modified bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.