Great Satan’s ISAF Top Dog Replaced

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Slightly in contradiction to President George Dubya Bush’s 2003 announcement - that the Afghan war on terror was over and done with - the outgoing commander of NATO / ISAF forces in Afghanistan last weekend took the opportunity to inform press hacks that the Coalition of the Warmongers alliance is on the road to winning the conflict against the embedded Taliban terrorists right across the Graveyard of Empires – from Lashkar Gah’s ripening opium poppy fields of Bellend Province in the south to the mountainous Wackoff Valley region in the extreme north.

Gen John Allen brought a smile to the faces of a gaggle of bemused foreign war correspondents with the comment that in his biased opinion US troops had gone a long way towards creating the ‘hearts and minds’ conditions for winning the counter-insurgency struggle – by murdering lots of civilians and having the MQ-9 Reaper hunter-killer drones demolish countless schools, medical centres and orphanages with their AMG-114 Shitstreak missiles on the off chance that Taliban mujahideen fighters might be hiding out there.

So the Taliban Dan Gang are beat, eh? Sorry boys, wrong – you can’t see the nose in front of your face. The Beards are just sitting back and relaxing – as they have for thousands of years, since the days of Alexander and before - until this latest set of infidel invaders sicken and start to die, then pull out – and that’s the way it’s been since time immemorial – and was two decades ago for the stubborn Soviets and their final military misadventure.

Then the shit will hit the fan big-time – same as it did when Russia said ‘fuck this for a game of soldiers’ then went home and ended their aid to the Najibullah puppet regime in 1992 – which resulted in a civil war power struggle – ending with the Taliban seizing the day in 1996 and publicly executing former President Mohammad Najibullah – then dragging his emasculated porcine body round the streets behind a Soviet military truck for a bit of a morbid PR stunt.

So regardless of the black op’s hit by a National Security team acting on the orders of White House bully boy thug and Drone Master John 'Spud' Brennan to ‘get’ Allen and Betrayus - General ‘John Boy’ has been sanitised and cleared of misconduct by the Pentagon for his part in a ‘ménage à quartet’ sex scandal involving Al Qaeda / Hezbollah Lebanese honeytrap asset Gilberte Khawam – aka Jill Kelley - and David Betrayus’ biographer / bonk on the side Paula Broadass – a veritable ‘clusterfuck’ that led to the CIA director being faced with two choices: resign or drink hemlock – the Obama White House is intent on nominating the tainted cock-happy Allen as nutty NATO’s supreme commander in Europe.

Hmmm, hopefully someone remembers that during his 19-month tour Allen, in his unqualified arrogance, saw fit to a transfer of security across Afghanistan to the national army and police – which really boosted the green on blue insider attack fatality statistics and has left the ISAF troops with a rubber-necking paranoid nervous twitch affliction concerning who the enemy actually is.

And to make sure that this 'fubar' theatre of conflict definitely takes a turn for the worse regarding Afghan duplicity and the critical public opinion ‘Dover Test’, Allen is handing over command to General Joe F. Dumbfuck Jr., a Marine Corps cabbage head stricken with severe credibility issues due being kitted out with a prosthetic brain after copping an earful of friendly fire grenade shrapnel while commanding the RCT-5 during the 2003 illegal invasion if Iraq – earning him the disparaging sobriquet of ‘No Duck Joe’.

Due his now-limited ‘potted plant IQ’, Gen. Dumbfuck has henceforth been left out of all aspects of the planning for troop reductions in Afghanistan and is clueless as to what combat commanders are considering even a ballpark figure number of troops required on the ground to bring the twelve year duration conflict to a ‘successful’ (sic) conclusion.

Further to his unwitting detriment, Marine Corp and Pentagon insiders have labelled Dumbfuck as a bona-fide dog wanker (a mutant sub-set genus in the fuckwit / tosspot classification index of Linnaean taxonomy) – whose recent battlefield experience extends no further than playing Call of Duty: Body Bag Patrol 3 on his Xbox 360 game station.

Doubtless the US MQ-9 Reaper drone attacks on suspected terrorist hideouts will get a 24/7 infra-red boost under General Dumbfuck’s watch as he’s a great believer in asymmetrical warfare – with a one-size-fits-all approach to any fucking thing which lowers the threshold for what justifies armed conflict – and the deployment of well-guided missiles via a route of misguided foreign policies

However, due the contradictions, lies, and inconsistencies in the official Western aggressor’s narratives there will be no end to the conflict as there’s zero material profit (filthy lucre) to be made from peace - whereas war’s a great money-spinner for all concerned – armament manufacturers and funeral service providers alike – albeit a total luck-out proposition for the collateral damage ‘victims’.
Just ask the ‘for-profit’ parties of self-interest such as Raytheon & Co - and the Edomite Mafia’s Bank of International Ripoffs in Basel.

Thought for the day. Hmmm, drone wars – alas, for purposes of belligerence we command a technology of far greater evolution than our moral and intellectual abilities to rationally commit such to destructive use.

To misquote the French ‘Age of Enlightenment’ philosopher Denis Diderot: “There will never be peace on Earth until the last remaining US ZioNazi warmonger is strangled with the disembowelled entrails of the last of the Rothshite crime cabal’s military-industrial complex scumbags.”

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references along with lashings of nano-particle cynicism and genetically-modified bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.