Thursday, 14 February 2013

Lib-Dums Push Global Warming Scam

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The apocryphal gospel being preached by the Lib-Dum’s sermonising Climate Change Secretary Ed ‘Green Deal’ Davey, is propaganda-packed with a shed-load of manipulated data and dodgy evidence that pushes the case for man-made global warming – all of which screams out with the stench of hacked cyber pages from the University of East Anglia’s infamous Counterfeit Data Department e-mails – and in Davey’s brimstone and hellfire damning opinion people who are still in denial – regardless of them being bollocks-deep in February snowdrifts - are no better than domestic terrorists bent on world-wide environmental destruction and should be cast into Dante’s Ninth Circle of Hell (the nasty one with all the banksters and other treacherous scumbags, paedo DJ’s and Tory kiddie fiddlers).

Speaking yesterday at the Chicken Little Institute for Advanced Scaremongering symposium in Smegmadale-on-the-Wold, where he quoted a litany of falsified data from the Masonic Secret Handshake Club’s corporate overlord song sheet, Davey pontificated that the evidence of global warming was irrefutable to his myopic view of things – yet failed to mention that politicians are responsible for making a significant contribution to rising global temperatures due all the hot air and bullshit they spout over the course of a working week.

Instead Davey assaulted the right of man-made climate change sceptics to their own opinion, claiming “These bastards want us to take a huge gamble with the future of every human being on the planet – our children and grandchildren, and all other living species – including those Third World useless eaters and the polar bears and dodo’s.”

Following in the Cassandra worrywart footsteps of his shit for brains ex-colleague, the horrid and perjurious Chris ‘Speeding Points’ Huhne, the doom-mongering Davey – regardless of being unqualified to stand before an academic body and say any fucking thing – apart from ‘I don’t know’ – informed the assembly that “This isn’t really rocket science - the basic physics for global warming are irrefutable – as evidenced by all the CO2 gases coming straight out of people’s greenhouses.”

Hmmm, ‘this isn’t rocket science’ eh – well, there Davey’s dead wrong as it is – albeit beyond the grasp of a moron of his potted plant category IQ. It’s all to do with rocket science: vector calculus, linear algebra, differential equations, quantum physics, celestial mechanics – along with relativity’s place in string theory - and let’s not forget that big yellow ball of burning gas in the sky - which sometimes shines brightly when the clouds and chemtrails clear – yet is prone to all manner of pre-menstrual mood swings and erratic menopausal behaviour.

These capricious vagaries of solar fickleness can result in Maunder Minimums and Ice Ages (just like the one we’re currently still emerging from) – and the occasional ‘amok’ where a magnitude 25x coronal mass ejection plasma flare ‘killshot erupts from the Sun’s surface and the EMP fucks every piece of electrical gear from Mercury to Pluto, causes the reversal of a planet’s magnetic poles – and flash fries all terrestrial life as far out as Jupiter.

Climate change is an on-going phenomenon and our Earth, as a living, breathing entity with its own pulse (Schumann Resonance) is in a constant state of flux – and man’s presence on the surface of the planet is insignificant – nuclear waste, fossil fuels, whatever. Mother Nature can swat out all traces of our existence and memory in the blink of the geological eye.

However the mission of the Tory’s Climate Change Secretary is not to delve into the ins and outs of the subject matter and disseminate fact from bullshit – nor truth from fabricated data and whopping porky pies. Oh no, Davey’s simply another stooge tasked with promoting the Club of Rome’s avaricious money-spinning personal carbon footprint limitation licencing scam.

The Chicken Little Institute for Advanced Scaremongering symposium, sponsored by the Rothshite crime syndicate, will this week see a gathering of anoraks and beardies with more degrees than an industrial thermometer all joining hands with banksters representing the leading Golden Calf cult cabals – including the Bank of International Usury, Fagin Finance and Mammon Money Launderers to discuss a strategy to impose their lucre-spinning carbon credits cap and trade exchange.

On hand to back up Ed Davey’s pathetic drivel with tales of melting glaciers in the Himalayas will be India’s answer to Otzi the Iceman – the Neanderthal IPCC chief - Rajendra ‘Hockey Stick’ Pachauri – a former railway engineer who now follows the ‘jukebox science’ commercial approach – playing any tune the Fortune 500 index global polluters want as long as they drop a few coins in his pocket - in the way of the odd honorarium or mega-bucks stipend.

Anyone recall the embarrassing Copenhagen Global Warming Summit of 2009 - when the entire shebang got snowed in?

Thought for the day. So, has Davey got any answers or solutions to this global warming problem? Wind turbines, wave power, go back to living in caves? Nope – it’s all just a propaganda front to push the carbon credits cap n trade exchange scam – and tax the fuck out of anyone who exhales more than seven times per minute.

This particular carbon-obsessed fascist is a resident of Surbiton, part of the Surrey stockbroker belt and home to lots of the rich and shameless who thanks to tax avoidance schemes have never claimed welfare benefits in their lives.

Is there a mini-wind turbine in his garden or a few solar panels on the south-facing side of the roof? No chance – and to add to the hypocrisy the residential development where Davey lives bears the pastoral title of Oak Leaf Lane – perhaps in memory of the swathes of mature oak, beech and sweet chestnut trees chopped down to make way for the houses that now stand on the arbour-decimated site.

* Carbon Credit Offset / Cap & Trade Exchange (aka Global Warming / Pollution Reduction Scam) declaration: No trees, fish, cormorants, bumble bees or small furry mammals - otters or voles - were harmed in posting this message. However, a large number of electrons were temporarily inconvenienced.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references along with lashings of nano-particle cynicism and genetically-modified bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Nice piece of work.
Yeah, thought Copenhagen was a hoot.