China Bans Reincarnation Without Permit

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

In what the international news media are referring to as the daftest idea they’ve come up with since their last daft idea – and one of history's more absurd acts of totalitarianism – the ruling Politburo of the Chinese People’s Marxist Utopia has banned Buddhist monks in Tibet from reincarnating without prior government permission.

The gospel according to a statement issued by the Beijing-based State Administration for Fucking People Around, the law, which goes into effect next month and strictly stipulates the procedures by which people are to reincarnate, is, in the opinion of socio-political activist Mr Fuk Yew Tu, an absolute travesty on the part of the government as the entire Maoist / Communist ideology condemns religion in all forms as the opium of the people - and further denies the existence of an immortal soul that continues to exist following the death of the physical body.

Conversely, laughter and irony (and ‘ancestor worship’) besides, canny analysts speculate that China's true motive is to sever the influence of the exiled Dalai Lama - Tibet's spiritual and political leader who has been a resident in India since escaping his captivity in Lhasa in the years following the invasion and occupation of the mountainous Himalayan sovereign nation by bully boy Sino-Communist forces and their martinet political enforcers in 1949 – and to further suppress the region's Buddhist religious establishment.

Now here’s the clincher: by effectively barring Tibetan monks from reincarnating when they shrug off their mortal coils, this dystopian law gives the Chinese authorities the power to choose the next Dalai Lama - whose soul, by political and cultural expediency, will henceforth be reborn to continue being an embarrassing human rights and wrongs annoyance to Beijing’s fascist regime.

Mr Tenzin Gyatso, the incumbent Dalai Lama, now 72, has lived in India since fleeing Lhasa in 1959, and cherishes a master game plan drawn up to ensure his succession - refusing to be reborn in Tibet so long as it remains under the totalitarian jackboot of Communist Chinese control.

With the Dalai Lamas’ spiritual ability to master the feat of controlling their own rebirth for the last 600 years, the Middle Kingdom’s Ministry of Propaganda under the mentorship of Secretary Flip Flop Fong, has been burning the midnight oils to conjure up a scam to ensure that when Gyatso snuffs it, they’ll have some snotty-nosed Tibetan youngster primed and ready to be declared the 15th incarnation of the Dalai Lama and act as their political muppet to represent the prime symbol of unity and national identity – a deceit that is ‘destined’ (sic) to morph into one hell of a major cluster fuck when the Buddhist monks select their own true reincarnated spiritual leader.

So that’s the plan to further subvert the marginalised population and disaffected Buddhist monks of Tibet – all of whom have been denied their cultural identity and subjected to the Communist yoke of oppression since 1949 with a steady flow of ‘Read This, Tremble and Obey’ edicts issued by the clinically-insane Politburo in Beijing – for who, like the ZioNazi rogue state of Israel, all forms of dissent, censure and criticism are verboten.

Little wonder that international jurists and other canny legal beagle minds are questioning how such acts of reincarnated disobedience might be enforced – but such is the Kafkaesque norm under the geriatric Maoist regime who follow the philosophical teachings of Humpty Dumpty.

How about we poke the Beijing’s narcissistic technocrats with a sharp stick – currently in a state of denial and damage control mode over the scandalous news reports of the country’s burgeoning spread of ‘cancer village’ statistics - where due the chronic levels of environmental pollution (air, water, soil – and all contaminating the entire food chain) by criminal manufacturers and natural resource mining operations out for the quick buck – and the graft and corruption-ridden government agencies that take kickbacks to turn a blind eye to these criminal activities – entire communities are stricken with galloping tumour rot.

Ah well, in a Third World dump where Falun Gong meditation is a felony - along with owning a thermometer to measure the ambient outdoor temperature being viewed as a subversive act determined to undermine the government – and both crimes that carry stiff penalties – such as life imprisonment (no, don’t laugh) in one of China’s legion of Smiley Face People’s Prisons and a kidney forcibly donated to the money-spinning international black market transplant organ donor trade – then being reincarnated without official permission has got to be a hanging offence.

Thought for the day. Fuck the Chinese Politburo and its geriatric composition of shelf-life expired dinosaurs – and the technocrats who continue with the same worn-out dogmatic, one-size-fits-all solutions to anything.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references along with lashings of nano-particle cynicism and genetically-modified bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.