McAlpen Sues Gobshite Sally

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Swiss-Irish breakfast cereal tycoon, Alistair McAlpen has dropped his legal action against Twatter users with fewer than five followers as he focuses his main battery of compensatory howitzers on the scatter-brained wife of the House of Conmans Speaker, namely Sally ‘Gobshite’ Bercow over allegations that he’s not only a class act scumbag but also a raving kiddie fiddler.

Instead, McAlpen has requested erring Twitter users who fingered him as a low-life paedo’ scrote to make a £25 quid donation to the Catholic Children With Sore Bums charity.

McAlpen - a former Tory Thatcherite cabinet member and party treasurer – plus being an influence-peddling wheeler dealer in his own right and the type of cunt who prompts a person to count their fingers if they’ve been coerced into shaking hands with him - wasn’t actually named and shamed by either the BBC Noncenight programme or ITV’s Sodomites Hour broadcast, yet raked in a settlement of £185,000 quid from the Beeb and a further £125,000 from ITV – which obviously makes a canny observer speculate what the fuck the payout would have been if either media station had actually named him as a nasty child molester?

More to the point, why the fuck didn’t they tell McAlpen to go fuck a pig and fight the action in court as it’s hardly their fault if the stupid common herd viewers jump to conclusions – and as we all know ‘assumption wears a cloak of errors’.

Conversely this Tory ‘Lord’ is now diverting his energies to pursuing the news-worthy Sally Bercow over comments she made on the Twatter micro-blogging site - and that his money-grubbing lawyers, Upshot, Bagrot & Shitpot, would be focused on milking her for whatever she’s worth - £50,000 nicker - as he intends to concentrate his energies on penning a new book titled “Machiavellian Magic: How To Make A Killing Out Of Not Getting Libelled”.

Doubtless the star-crossed ‘Bedsheets’ Sally - a prolific Twatter user with 57,000 brain dead followers of her daily drivel until shutting down the account last year after realising her paedo accusations were more at scent than substance and a bit short on what legal types refers to as ‘hard evidence’ - will be emptying her piggy bank to pay lawyers Crater-Ffuck to represent her end of things – and they don’t come cheap by any means.

So it looks like the piranha-jawed Bercow is in the shit yet again after opening gob before engaging brain – obviously suffering several of her habitual blonde moments in one fell swoop when she posted that little piece of libel on Twatter.

Oh well, that’s it when the menopausal madness starts to creep in. Time for a spot of hormone therapy – or learn to keep her trap shut. But that’s doubtful as she’s an actual prime example of Mother Nature’s failed experiment with intelligence-equipped bipeds – much as is the vindictive McAlpen.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references along with lashings of nano-particle cynicism and genetically-modified bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.