UK Plods: Hypocrisy Knows No Bounds

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

If not already over-inundated with investigations into charges of criminal activity and wrong-doing committed by their own officers bent on cobbling together a decent pension pot so they can retire in style and continue to live in the ostentatious manner to which they’ve grown accustomed, the graft and corruption-ridden Met’s head honcho, Commissioner Bernard Hulk Hogan, yesterday announced the launch of yet another inquiry – this one given the theatrical code name of Operation Grave-Robber - into reports that their Special Demonstration Squad undercover unit created aliases using the identities of dead children.

For fuck’s sake, if our not fit for purpose Plod Squad - hardly representative models of moral rectitude at the best of times - aren’t already accused of every crooked trick and scam in the book apart from piracy and witchcraft – they’ve now been fingered for stealing the i/d’s of cot death sprogs. What the fuck next are we to expect from these so-called appointed guardians of the Third Estate?

The dodgy SDS, a unit whose officers, regardless of official denials, was - then as now - involved in infiltrating protest groups – which are traditionally comprised of critical thinking conspiracy theorists and anarchist types suffering from Oppositional Defiance Disorder – aka the non-conformists that our paranoid Establishment frowns upon for their individuality – and ability to tell the difference between shit and shinola - resisting the Womb to Tomb State controlling every aspect of their entire mortal existence – as they’re a threat to the order of things.

Such groups are a counter-balance to the status quo and thus branded as freaks and professional agitators, non-conformist rebels, dissidents, radicals, nihilists, reactionaries, anarchists, domestic terrorists and revolutionaries - every ‘anti’ adjective going - simply due their inherent uniqueness – for questioning the dodgy motives of officialdom and protesting against this usurious, kikester-run Debtocracy-based Crapitalist monetary system that strangles the very life’s essence from human aspiration and endeavour – and are hence feared by the Powers that Be due the fact they can kick ass and have no need nor desire to go ‘Baaa’ and compliantly follow the rest of the common herd.

Ron McScrote, director of Kunt-Watch, the government abuse monitor charity which blew the whistle on the SDS’s nefarious activities after being given access to top secret documents leaked by embedded moles inside the Met’ Plod Squad archives - informed one press hack from the Big Brother Gazette “Wot we’re hearin’ today is that a formal complaint has now bin received wot’s bein’ scrutinised by the Directorate of Unprofessional Standards – so it looks like another effin’ case of the Plods investigatin’ themselves.”

“This latest abuse of the public’s trust authorised by the Met’s top brass, an’ carried out wivout consultation wiv the parents of the dead kiddies, takes the concept of identity theft ter an entirely new level of morbid depravity.”

“I kid yer not, no fucker or their dog’s ever seen a police force that spends so much effin’ time and effort investigatin’ its own criminal activities. Sellin’ secret information ter the likes of Ravin’ Rupert Mudrocks gutter press media machine an’ stitchin’ up obnoxious Tory cabinet ministers wiv accusations of callin’ a spade ‘a spade’ – even if it was ‘a pleb’ – an’ beatin’ alkie news vendors ter death - then lettin’the guilty twat off a charge of manslaughter wiv a slap on the wrist.”

“I suppose Operation Mason’s bin cancelled by now has it – since they found David Kelly’s body propped up against a tree in the Grassy Knoll Woods where MI6 left it an’ Lord Hutton of the Whitewash conducted the Bliar-mandated ‘coroner-free’ inquiry inter his murder.”
“But really, how many fuckin’ investigations wot involves corrupt coppers have they got runnin’ if we put them all inter alphabetical order? Operations Alice (Plebgate), Elveden, Fairbank, Fernbridge, Kalymyk, Pallial, Tuleta, Weeting an’ Yewtree – ter name but a few - all of which involve the plods an’ their dirty deals done dirt cheap.”
“Then ter make matters even fuckin’ worse we have the IPCC (Independent Police Coverups Commission) tasked wiv hidin’ as much of these scandals as possible so the apple cart doesn’t get rocked too much.”

“We know all about the effin’ history of this Special Demonstration Squad - more commonly referred ter as ‘agents provocateur’ - the ones tasked wiv kick startin’ a riot an’ violent Plod Squad response by launchin’ the first brick or Molotov cocktail at any demo’ ter demonise the hapless fuckin’ protesters.”

“These twats are supposed ter be the paladins of the common herd, not the enforcers of the political elite an’ the rich and shameless - that minor percentage of this country wot abuses their privilege of socio-political rank an’ has this exaggerated sense of entitlement an’ their importance in the order of things. We see it every effin’ day – displays of their perverted excesses an’ usin’ far more than they needs ter live at a higher standard than them wot they’re stealing from.”

Former Met SDS undercover officer, Sergeant Frank Scumm confided to one press hack from the Daily Shitraker “Well, that woz SOP fer the unit an’ if yer couldn’t be arsed moochin’ around some effin’ graveyard lookin’ fer a dead sprog’s grave then the lads would just assume the i/d of one of the rent boys or local orphanage’s sex toy kids wot got murdered in the sauna an’ dumped on the compost heap at the back of Mrs Kasir’s Elm Guest House in Barnes after some ginger twat Tory cabinet minister had finished bummin’ the poor fucker.”

Hmmm, when it comes to abuse of public office, then their hypocrisy knows no bounds – for this moronic, albeit typical, concept is fielded – the misapprehension that crimes by members of the elite and police must be swept under the rug due the fact prosecuting them would destabilise the system.
But it’s never been a matter of pro bono – no part of it is for the public good – rather such works against the welfare of the common herd simply to maintain the ‘1% Them / 99% Us’ status quo.

Keith Vaz, the scandal-ridden (Hinduja / Auchi ) chairman of the House of Conmans home affairs select committee - who has his own fair share of ‘Eggington’ on his triple chins - will hear evidence concerning undercover policing practices this week and claimed he was ‘fucking gobsmacked’ at the gruesome practice.

Thought for the day. Politicians and Plods alike - both actual prime examples of Mother Nature’s failed experiment with intelligence-equipped bipeds.

What’s the difference between the UK’s Plod Squad and an organised crime syndicate? The Plods have the taxpayer-funded resources of a nation state behind them.

Conversely, from a personal view, they’re not that great a national disgrace or embarrassment if one considers some of the Plod Squads posing as a front for law and order around today’s world – with a majority in developing countries so riddled with graft and corruption that the system can no longer operate without them.

Regardless ‘Impunitas sempre ad deteriora invitat’: Impunity always leads to greater crimes.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references along with lashings of nano-particle cynicism and genetically-modified bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.