Sunday, 24 February 2013

UK Cops Triple ZZZ Credit Rating

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Upon hearing the news that Broken Britain’s ailing economy has been slapped with a Third World triple ZZZ basket case credit rating by Moody’s financial guesswork agency, New Labour’s mandarins suffered a typical human nature knee-jerk reaction and went into selective memory mode, letting slip the leash on their propaganda attack dogs – blaming the entire fiscal mess on Tory Chancellor Georgie Osborne and his misguided ‘Playschool’ economic policies.

Alas, child leader wunderkind Ed Millipede should have ensured his shadow cabinet gang of moronic gobshites engaged brain before spouting off as it was on their 13 year (unlucky for some – us) watch that the likes of Gordon ‘Incapability’ Broon and Alastair Darling made a total fuck of the economy with their mindless ‘Money-Go-Round’ - and bailing out the Edomite Mafia and Rothshite crime syndicate’s dodgy Shylock banks instead of following Iceland’s ‘sensible shoes’ Darwinian approach and letting the usurious twats stay bust once they’ve ‘gone bust’ after playing loan swaps and derivatives futures Russian roulette speculation with the funds entrusted to them.

However Chancellor Osborne yesterday assured a gutter press hack from the red top Debtocracy Gazette that the Tory arse end of the fatally flawed ‘pantomime horse’ coalition government still had a couple of sleight of hand strategy tricks up their sleeve and would continue taking tough measures to deal with the deficit – by increasing taxes, bumping up fuel duty, reducing proletariat worker’s salaries and slashing welfare benefits forked out to the UK’s unemployed and disabled useless eaters.

Ms Candida Titwank, spokeswoman for the Moody’s agency, which is the first to downgrade the UK’s credit rating since 1978, informed media sources that they expected growth would remain ‘sluggish’ while the country was being run by a Tory-dominated cabinet of self-centred ‘slugs’ - whose primary constituencies were the Fortune 500 companies and not the common herd electorate who had voted them into public office.

“This news isn’t exactly a gob-smacking jolt or surprise as the financial markets have known it was only a matter of time – and not ‘if’ but ‘when’ - before a downgrade of the UK's sovereign rating occurred – especially so with silly old Mervyn at the Bank of England purposely keeping the interest rate lower than a snake’s bollocks and following a doomsday course with this moronic ‘quantitative easing’ by printing £20 notes non-stop to keep the economy afloat.”

Okay, now for the man in the street’s solution to solving this triple dip depression and child poverty all in one fell swoop. All too easy to put an end to this unemployment plague and jobless wilderness - currently infested with welfare benefit scrounging / job-poaching multi-cultural economic migrants from around the 27 member state EUSSR community that need hoofing out immediately if not sooner.

Then tell Brussels to stick their Treaty of Lisbon and Maastricht Agreement and whatever – and let’s drop corporate taxes down to fuck all for three years and start creating some jobs – for indigenous Brit’s – so people can go out to work – and call a halt to all this dysfunctional society bullshit - as the fickle finger of Fate is pointing straight back at a dysfunctional government – and in this case the double duck egg fuck-up represented by the Tory / Lib-Dum ‘Con-Dem’ coalition fubar - with neither party having a popular vote mandate to govern.

Of course, what the fuck do the Tories expect when a once-proud – and prosperous (never had it so good) – nation is purposely de-industrialised by their clinically insane menopausal harpy of a Prime Minister – Maggie Twatcher - who had a sociopathic snot on with the unions - and coal miners and dockers in particular – and thanks to her mismanagement replaced Britain’s iconic prefix of ‘Great’ with that of ‘Broken’.

Next on the agenda, let’s apply the 'austerity measures' policy to getting rid of half the 649 useless twat MPs in the House of Conmans, and the same with the civil service and local authority panjandrums. Then correct this wasting of taxpayers’ funds on foreign aid – and financing foreign wars of neo-colonial aggression under the disingenuous guise of humanitarian intervention and spreading Democracy – much as the 19th Century Christian missionary scam worked - of spreading God’s word and saving black heathens from themselves.

As to the ailing banksters - easy peasy – same as employers and motorists and transport companies are stuck with – they take out Third Party / Liability insurance cover to underwrite their incompetence and casino culture losses – or go to the wall and declare themselves – er - bankrupt. Yep, bankrupt, a fitting term for a bank with no more fucking money.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references along with lashings of nano-particle cynicism and genetically-modified bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

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