Tuesday, 9 October 2012

UK’s ‘Once-Exemplary’ Welfare State: RIP

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Speaking at the opening of the four day Conservative Party conference in Brummystan, the Libservative Coalition’s Slime Minister ‘Austerity Dave’ Scameron declared that housing benefit payments are to be critically reviewed for the under-65’s – along with state pensions and winter fuel allowances currently doled out to the useless eating senior citizen stratum of society - and that further £10 zillion quidsworth of drastic cuts to welfare will be required to service (no, not solve) Broken Britain’s ‘Debtocracy’ deficit and interest payments on loans taken out with the IMF and the Rothshite kikester crime syndicate’s Ripoffs Bank of International Bailouts.

However, while what once referred to as our nation’s pride and joy ‘welfare state’ is now earmarked to go the way of the hapless Dodo and cease to be in entirety, Scameron pledged equivalent actions to balance the scales and ensure the moneyed sector of our fucked-up class-riven society have their fat cat ‘cream’ skimmed and duly cough up a fair share of income taxes – with New Labour’s rich and shameless donors to be the first targeted in the HMRC’s ‘wealth tax’ cross haired sights.

Conversely senior Conservatives led by Sir Dinsdale Ffitch-Spatchcock have ruled out Nick ‘Flipper’ Clegg’s misconceived ‘mansion tax’ on expensive properties – especially those owned by the Tory Party’s hierarchy and dedicated voters – so as not to commit a deliberate act of self-harm or ensure a fate of being hoofed out of office at the next election.

In an effort to appease the legions of back bench and cross party Eurosceptics, Posh Dave confided to one press hack from the Xenophobes Gazette that he personally backs a review of the EUSSR’s current free movement laws to curb the flood of scrounging economic migrants from Europe’s ‘pikey states’ coming to the UK to pursue a career of welfare benefit fraud due Britain earning a reputation of being a ‘soft touch’ during 13 years of New Labour government mismanagement.

Obviously running out of funnies and catchy sound bites to keep his sycophantic audience attentive, Scameron resorted to stating the obvious and pontificated on the fact that Broken Briatin’s economic recovery is taking longer than expected – wholly missing the damning point that the common herd are aware our once-sceptred isle has devolved from order into chaos and is stigmatised with the status of an insolvent Third World basket case.

Hmmm, Scameron’s Big Society “We’re all in this together” scam looks more like “You’re all in the shit together” - and wholly excludes the over-privileged Parliamentary elite.

Too, the reasons for this sad state of affairs are written large upon the wall of everyday life with the hapless taxpayers getting shagged up the rear end at every turn, bailing out the casino-culture addicted banksters, pouring zillions of £££ pounds into Third World shitholes in the name of ‘Aid’ – and participating in the Great Satan’s interminable neo-colonial foreign wars of aggression – these ‘resource wars’ of economic conquest and plunder – with a venal profit driven agenda expedited to succour the homicidal fetishes and greed of the UK’s shadow government Zionist masters.

Then to ensure the terminal decline of our nation’s fiscal health we have Mervyn Kong at the Bank of England running the monopoly money printing presses 24/7 – a process euphemistically titled ‘quantitative easing’ to cover the UK’s catalogue of toxic debts - and offset the same fate as Greece and Spain as the EUSSR’s economy goes arse over tit and implodes, manifesting from nation state to state in a series of Debtocracies, and with the application of 20/20 hindsight, proving UKIP’s Nigel Barrage and the Eurosceptics right yet again – and the fact that the only way forward is to clear out Brussels' Augean stables via the route of violent revolution.

In a sticks and stones display of ‘payback’ for all the back-stabbing and cat calling by New Labour’s child prodigy leader Ed Millipede during their party conference in manky Manchester last week, the Tory pro-Zionist Foreign Secretary Willy ‘Closet Case’ Vague took to the podium after Scameron delivered his sermon and tore into ‘Comrade Ed’ and his moronic, opinionated statement that Labour had morphed into the ‘One Nation’ party, declaring to media hacks “Millipede’s no Benjamin Disraeli – he’s on a par with Moscow’s red mole Harold Wilson."

Not one to miss a chance to get his two-penneth in and say something stupid, Defence Secretary Philip ‘Dandruff’ Hammond warned Lib-Dum members of the fatally-flawed coalition seeking a cheaper alternatives to replacing the UK’s arsenal of Trident II (D5) UGM-133A nuclear missiles - with the Palestinian Gaza Strip Hamas-made Qassam-3 rockets - that this was an issue the Tory’s refuse to compromise on and commit career suicide by incurring the wrath (or, Heaven forbid, negatively affect the profits) of WMD arms manufacturer Lockheed-Martin.

Likewise, also anxious to be heard and not only seen as a pretty face - (or be rightly regarded an utter twat after announcing a further £10 zillion quid in welfare cuts that will singularly affect the marginalised sectors of our blighted society as the budget most definitely will not be balanced off the wallets of Tory party donors) - Chancellor George Osborne - a role model for morons and the type of person who gives sex offenders and career criminals a bad name - informed one hack from the gutter press Iron Hoof Review that he’s up for backing the introduction of same-sex marriage when MPs are given a free vote on the issue and introduce the controversial Rugmunchers / Fudgers Wedding Bells Bill so a legion of his public school poofter buddies can walk up the isle and play Madam & Steve.

Thought for the day: All so typical of our juke box politicians who gain election to public office via manipulating the illusion of credibility and competence – yet whose true constituency is the Fortune 500 company index.

As to the pipe dream ‘mansion tax’, is Nick Clegg that naïve as to actually delude himself into thinking the Tories would agree to implement such a move?
Cleggy should study Lucy Parsons, the 1920’s American anarchist labour organizer and radical socialist who stated for the historic record: “Never be deceived that the rich will allow anyone to vote away their wealth”.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

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