Porno Flicks now on School Curriculum

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Dozens of irate parents have withdrawn their pre-pubescent children from the Slumborough Hamlets Asbo Central Academy after a group of pupils were reported to have watched porno’ movies on Dirty Desmond’s ‘Cock Sucking Sluts’ freeview adult TV channel – plus a harrowing documentary on the ingrained culture of kiddie fiddling at the BBC - during an overnight field trip to sordid Skegness.

Snottinghamshire County Council is investigating allegations that a class of girls aged eight watched hours of rampant sex scenes – including the banned ‘Dirty DJ’s do Debbie the Dogger’ - on their dormitory goggle box while on a trip to Skeggy – which has resulted in thirty-plus pupils being taken out of class following a string of serious complaints concerning the bizarre teaching methods practiced at the Slumborough Hamlets Academy.

Feral Beryl Slaggerotti, an eight-year old pupil at the school, was forced to come clean and grassed up the erring group after a slip of the tongue at home gave the game away.
The girl’s mother, Mrs Sapphie Slagerotti, informed media hacks that she was dressing ready for a hen party when her daughter commented “You can’t wear a skirt that short Mummy, you’ll be asking to get shagged up the bum like those dirty sluts on the telly.’”

Beryl’s critical remark revealed the incident occurred when one of the temporary supply teachers accompanying the field trip party came in to check the girls were bedded down in their dormitory for the night then switched from Teletubbies to the freeview adult porno channel to keep the girls glued to the screen while the staff slipped off down to the pub for a piss-up.

Mrs Chlamydia Ffinch-Gargoyle, a governor at the school, which caters for over three hundred pupils aged between four and eleven years of age, opined to one press hack from the Pederasts Gazette "In my unqualified opinion the duty of care policy and child protection measures at the school have been nowhere near rigorously enough adhered to since this new contingent of economic migrant teachers from the EU’s Eastern bloc took up their duties last term.”
“One of the main complaints registered with the board of governors is that a class of girls was encouraged to view ‘inappropriate material’ via an unrestricted satellite television channel while on a field trip to Skegness to take part in the St Crispin of the Sacred Catamites Charity Marathon.”

Ffinch-Gargoyle, a former teacher herself at Snottingham’s Gladys Gorgon Institute for Latter Day Harpies, has called for the incumbent Headmistress, Fellattia Titwank, to be suspended while an inquiry by Snottinghamshire County Council is undertaken, and concluded her comments with “How the school was ever given a ‘Good’ status report by Ofsted following their inspection last year is an equally worrying factor that requires further scrutiny into a culture of complacency on both sides of the fence.”

Chantelle McSkanger, a 16-year old mother of three, informed the media “I’m not sendin’ me effin’ kids ter that academy anymore, where they might be gettin’ groomed fer underage sex wiv some horny twat of a teacher - or one of them child molestin’ DJs wot works fer the BBC – the type of scumbags wot lets ‘em watch porno movies when they go on a school trip – or worse still, like that other psycho maniac Thomas Hamilton at Dunblane, pimping school kids an’ cub scouts ter a gang of Masonic establishment paedo’ perverts an’ then went postal an’ snuffed a load of kids an’ did himself in.”

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

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