Saudis Slam UK Probe into KSA Corruption

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The Saudi Arabian Foreign Office, speaking on behalf of King Abdullah bin Fat Git al Saud, has issued a press statement declaring to anyone with an interest in their hypocritical blather that the indolent royal family has been insulted by a House of Conmans inquiry into the UK’s past and present business dealings with the graft and corruption-ridden KSA government.

This inquiry also includes scrutiny of the UK’s relationship with the despotic, psycho King Manuke Khara ibn Himar al Khalifa and his family of tossers at the helm of the homicidal Bahrain regime who seem to take great delight in appearing on live CNN and Sky News broadcasts torturing common herd members of the island’s Bolshie demographic and locking up the medical staff who dare treat their inflicted injuries.

The Saudi Ambassador to Britain, Sheikh Fizzy al Kaseltzer, informed one press hack from the Barbarians Gazette that King Abdullah is seriously considering re-evaluating his country's historic relations with Britain since learning that the self-harming ultra-Arabophile Tommy Lawrence was killed in a motorbike accident back in 1935 and nobody bothered to extend the simple courtesy of posting a copy of the obituary to the KSA Embassy or informing the al Saud gang so they might place flowers at the Wareham, Dorset accident black spot on the anniversary of his death.

While Defence Minister Prince Neekni Sahrawi ibn Zamel has prudently stopped short of cancelling ongoing UK trade deals for zillions of quids-worth of military equipment, including the latest in DIME baby-blasting bombs and the full gamut of Action Man hi-tech torture toys, this ‘reappraisal of position’ does reflect growing Saudi resentment towards the infidel West's reaction to the Arab Spring pro-Democracy uprisings – wherein they originally pledged to denounce such in friendly / aligned Islamic states yet hypocritically promote the same against regimes that refuse to tow the West’s pro-Zionist line – and are now having a socio-political Pauline conversion and moralising that the opposite approach should be henceforth implemented.

In September, Parliament's Foreign Affairs Committee announced it would be opening a wide-ranging review into the UK's relations with Bahrain and Saudi Arabia - two key Gulf Arab partners - with the latter being the source of fossil fuel oil that keeps the lights on in Broken Britain and the wheels of what’s left of the UK’s sadly diminished industry still turning, albeit at a snail’s pace.

The FAC’s inquiry will be tasked to scrutinise how the UK balances its various ‘polar opposite’ interests in these countries by supplying the tools of suppression and compliance – arms for security and countering domestic terrorism – versus the burgeoning litany of human rights and wrongs offences committed by the very same regimes against their hapless peasant classes who only want an equal say in governance.

However the pro-Sunni Wahhabist sect ruling family of Saudi Arabia, long sensitive to any form of criticism of its appalling human rights and wrongs record, believes the inquiry has been prompted by a bunch of Shits and Shi’ite activists from Bahrain, including those striving to overthrow the postage stamp Emirate’s Sunni and Cher monarchy.

To wit, Saudi Ambassador Sheikh Fizzy al Kaseltzer told the BBC his country would not tolerate or accept any foreign interference in the workings of the Gulf Co-operation Council, which comprises Saudi Arabia, Bahrain, Kuwait, Qatar, UAE and Oman – the main Arab combine – along with Israel, the Great Satan, the UK, France and Turkey - supplying arms to the anti-Assad Syrian terrorist forces.

In accordance with the principles of reciprocity the Ambassador continued “The Kingdom of Saudi Arabia will not permit a group of so-called infidel human rights activists, supported and funded by foreign Christian entities, to implant a political system in a fellow GCC country that promotes the overthrow of feudal law which has worked here for thousands of years and kept the unwashed common herd in their place."

“We know what the Western heathens call us behind our backs – graft and corruption-ridden autocracies - and by doing so have the audacity to call into question our cultural tradition of baksheesh.”
“Okay, the UK Parliament might privately regard us as a Third World shithole with electricity that is infested with a ruling elite of goat-fucking fudgers and kiddie fiddling pederasts who stock their harems with catamites - and while driving automobiles and talking on cellphones and sending e-mails and texts we still stone people to death and chops the hands off thieves and behead adulterers.”

“But let us not forget these are our cultural customs – and perhaps if Broken Britain copied some of our traditions you might not have so many problems with the yobster gangs or drugs - or the gobshite split-arsed slappers you put upon a pedestal and worship as wives - that eventually cost an arm and a leg to divorce.”

Thought for the day: So will Downing Street take note of this and think twice about proceeding, or risk the lucrative £4 billion per annum bilateral ‘oil for arms’ trade that keeps the UK afloat – or simply adopt the ethical standards common to the barbarians of the Dark Ages and look the other way?

The gospel according to the UK Trade and Investment Office there’s an excess of 200 UK / Saudi joint ventures currently in the pipeline (sic / no pun intended) with a total investment of more than £11 billion nicker – plus defence deals which include a £7 billion BAE Systems contract to supply the next tranche of Typhoon military fighter jets and all other kinds of military nasties the Saudi scumbags can pass on to the Free Syrian Army terrorists to perpetuate the current chaos.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

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