UK Parents Need School ‘Paedo Pass’

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Parents of children attending the Megan Stammers Memorial Community School in silly Swindon are being compelled to fill in a four-page form for the Criminal Records Bureau vetting process, which takes a ridiculous eight weeks to process.

The school introduced the Big Brother ‘risk aversion’ measure at the start of term to prevent strangers accessing the school via the playing fields – with ‘progressive thinking’ head teacher Des McMoron advising one press hack from the Ripoffs Gazette that parents will be banned from watching their sprogs engage in sports activities unless they pay a ludicrous and extortionate £26 quid to undergo the criminal records check - which is purported to prove they’re not potential kidnappers, raving paedophiles - or Masonic pederast pimps ‘gone postal’ alike Dunblane’s psycho Thomas Watt Hamilton.

“We’re gonna make our school totally risk-free, wiv the kids searched fer weapons of mass destruction cos I don’t want ter get shot in the back by some eleven-year old scally wiv an attitude problem – wot then turns the gun on his classmates like wot happened at Columbine in the US.”

“So while we’re at it the parents can boost our budget by gettin’ a CRB check done so we know there’s not gonna be any kiddie fiddlers like that Jimmy Savile or Garry Glitter hangin’ round the playground bogs out fer a spot of child molestin’ – or any other squirly tosspots wiv one eye an’ a Captain Hook hand sneakin’ in wearin’ a Semtex suicide vest an’ makin’ a bollocks of our Sports Day or soccer matches by blowin’ themselves ter bits.”

“Hence we’re takin’ our risk aversion policy very seriously an’ that’s why the school gates an’ razor wire fence stay electrified all day an’ only parents wiv criminal records passes are allowed in ter watch sports events an’ staged performances involvin’ their kids.”

Conversely, parent Jack Scrote spit the proverbial dummy last week when refused entry to the school to watch his 13-year-old butch dyke daughter play rugby until he’d forked out £26 for a CRB check.
“Wot a crock of shit this effin’ Swindon Council CRB check is, cos if me an’ the missus wants ter come an’ see our Mingeeter playin’ prop forward an’ kick the crap outa some other tough nut lesbo skanger in the scrum-down, then we gotta cough up £52 nicker fer the both of us – an’ that leave sod all of me jobseekers allowance fer a pint of Old Headbanger or a pack of ciggies.”

Thought for the day. Are these imbecilic dingbats totally off their duplicitous, double-standard, hypocrisy-ridden rockers? Why weren’t all these ‘overkill’ concerns and regulations in place when the likes of Hollie Greig and a legion of other disabled and special needs children were being sexually abused and systematically raped by a diabolical gang of Aberdeen-based establishment kiddie fiddlers?

This question poses the same for Jersey’s Haut de la Garenne orphanage (and in-house basement cemetery); for the Kinkora Boys Home, Belfast; for the Casa Pia orphanage, Portugal; for the North Wales ‘Bryn Estyn’ children's home where Plod Squad Superintendent Gordon Groper terrorised and sexually abused the kiddie victims unchecked for years on end – and last but not least among the never-ending list - the two millenniums-duration depraved atrocities committed against innumerable altar and choir boys by the Vatican’s Roman Catholic priests - tasked with a duty of trust and care for the spiritual needs of the congregation of the St Sodom’s Church for Latter Day Catamites.

When the National Criminal Intelligence Service’s ‘Operation Ore’ investigation of child pornographers and paedophiles hit Westminster in 2002 - with 7,250 suspects being identified in the United Kingdom alone - New Labour’s vile crime boss PM Anthony Charles Lynton Bliar - himself a convicted cottager and public toilet rent boy procurer – slapped a gagging order on the media’s exposure following the arrest of his personal Parliamentary aide, Philip Lyon – to protect the corruption-ridden government’s ‘above-the-law’ Masonic kiddie fiddling elitists who were on the ‘Ore’ list.

Same for the scandalous case of Thomas Watt Hamilton - the Cub Scout procuring paedo pimp serving the perverted tastes of his Freemason overlords - who went psycho at Dunblane Primary School in bonny Scotland back in 1996 and snuffed sixteen innocent kids and a teacher before going into terminal self-harm mode and shooting himself.
This mess was covered up by a pinch-faced perv named Lord Willy Cullen, who slammed a 100-year sealing order on the inquiry’s findings to protect his pederast ring Masonic buddies.

It isn’t a far stretch of fact that any and all right-thinking members of society, caring parents most of all, would welcome the passage of legislation to deter acts of paedophilia that would make the Catholic Church’s Middle Ages Inquisition wince – physical emasculation followed up by garrotting with a length of barbed wire.
However, juxtaposed to this we now have a cabal of impious international Freemasons attempting to subvert the ethics of moral rectitude by promoting the passage of a ‘Nonce Bill’ to implement the decriminalisation of paedophilia and thus secure their ‘Untouchable’ aura.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.