Saturday, 13 October 2012

Frogs Kick Start Scallop War

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Anyone remember the Brits versus the Icelandic Vikings in the moronic Cod Wars – circa 1958 to 1976 - which left millions feared dead, gave shoals of North Atlantic cold-blooded aquatic vertebrates the best pelagic belly-laugh they’d ever had since the whale swallowed Jonah – and shoved up the price of a fillet of fish at the local chippy beyond the reach of the common working man’s purse.

To wit, with this high-fiving post-9/11 New World Order holding sway, given the facility of 20/20 hindsight, any other fucker and their dog would go to war over securing commercial trade route access and establishing strategic military bases - or making an Israeli-style Palestine land-grab on some other hapless fucker’s mineral-resource rich territory – to exploit reserves of opium, oil, natural gas, diamonds, gold and uranium – but definitely not sodding fish.
However it is written within the hallowed pages of the Great Book of Common Sense that those who refuse to learn from the mistakes of history are doomed to repeat them, on a Groundhog Day cycle if so required, until they finally ‘get it right’.

Perhaps some enigmatic nuance of ironic Karma, wishing to aptly demonstrate this point, provoked a veritable armada of French fishing boats to embark on paths of violent expression and launch a bully boy attack on a British trawler, wherein they resorted to hurling a variety of missiles, including stale batons, diarrhoea-filled condoms and rotting haddock in a bitter dispute over shellfish beds lying off the coast of Normandy.

Devon-based trawler skipper Ron McSkanger was attacked off Le Havre on Monday and claims one of French boat, the Le Gras Merde, flying a black skull and crossed bones Jolly Roger tried to ram his trawler while in international waters.
“That woz the first attack then these foreign Gorf bastards sailed up alongside us in a couple more boats, the Le Tantouse an’ the La Godermiche an’ starts shoutin’ their effin’ heads off at us – an’ we can’t understand a fuckin’ thing they’re sayin’ cos it’s all in French. Then they kicks off flinging all kinds of shit at me boat an’ I nearly copped a crack on me effin’ bonce from an empty bottle of Chateau Le Dogpiss wot some little faggot wiv a ‘Pédés Rule’ t-shirt on chucked at me when I stuck me head outa the wheelhouse door.”

“These twats come over ter our side of the Channel an’ up the Irish Sea fishin’ an’ cos of all these fucked up laws wot this EUSSR outfit in Brussels conjure up, we’ve gotta put up wiv them stealin’ our Manx kippers – but when we fish over their side of the pond then they spit the dummy an’ go ape-shit over a coupla hauls of scallops. Yet wot the fuck can we expect from a bunch of pigs but a fuckin’ grunt as they’re our historical fuckin’ enemies ain’t they – an’ yer can’t educate fuckin’ pork – or Gorfs.”

*** Gorf – a backward Frog.

Thoughts for the day. The French multi-national Atos Healthcare (read Atosspots Weathcare) are the company currently tasked by our Libservative Coalition excuse for a government with expediting this disgusting assault on the mentally and / or physically disabled members of our society through the Work Capability Assessment programme, and declaring them fit for work when they are visibly not.

So fuck the French – and their scallops – and the EUSSR.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

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