Chazzer Lobbying Letters Off Limits

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The UK’s subservient Attorney General, Dominic Grieve, obviously labouring under the delusion he might earn a few brownie points and cop for a royally-bestowed peerage somewhere down the road, has blocked the release of private letters that Prince Chazzer of Wales - aka the Royal Plant Whisperer - fired off to a succession of government departments, telling them how to do their jobs – the type of correspondence that lands members of the common herd in the shit with local authorities and the Plod Squad on a regular basis.

A court ruled last month that the letters should be published in the public interest, but the toadying Grieve claims this was an exceptional case where the communications formed part of the prince's preparations for taking over when his mum, Queen Brenda, kicked the bucket - and the publication of his eccentric and often bizarre views of the world might seriously undermine an already-diminished credibility to fulfil his duties as the UK’s monarch - King Big Ears the First - if it was broadcast to all and sundry that the man was a suitable case for sectioning and treatment.

In September the Administrative Appeals Chamber stated that it was in the public interest for transparency as to how and when Prince Chazzer sought to abuse his privileged position to unduly influence government ministers and civil servants to his skewed way of thinking – especially so concerning the ban of blood sport fox hunting, the siting of wind farms, and the sanctioning of badger culls.

While the Anarchists Gazette said it would seek to take the government to the High Court to challenge the veto, Ron McScrote, director of the Republic group, branded the Attorney General’s ruling as an affront to democracy.
“This announcement of Dominic Grieve’s is a right crock of shit an’ all about protectin’ the bat-eared Chazzer an’ the Royal Family from public scrutiny, cos if his effin’ letters are published they would undermine this joke of political neutrality an’ reveal the extent ter which an unelected bloke wot lives on an income of state welfare benefits attempts ter impose his will upon government decision-making – an’ wot therefore demolishes the bullshit concept that the monarchy is purely ceremonial and symbolic.”

“Wot the publication of these ‘directives’ – cos that’s wot they are – would reveal is the fact that they’re no more that the meanderin’s of a self-delusional meddlin’ moron wot should be in an effin’ strait jacket like the rest of his inbred mongrel relatives wot’s bin swimmin’ at the shallow end of the gene pool fer centuries an’ shaggin’ each other’s sisters an’ cousins.”

"Grieve’s decision represents a serious affront ter British democracy an’ is gonna be challenged cos it affects the broader debate surroundin' constitutional reform concernin’ the future of the monarchy – which many in this country would like ter see follow the 1789 French ‘guillotine’ model – or the Russian Bolshevik’s 1917 Yekatrinburg version of the same - an' wiv the likes of His Royal Rudeness Prince Stavros - an' Chazzer an' his chain-smokin' missus, Gorgonzilla, the Duchess of Cornhole, at the front of the regicide queue.”

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

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