Friday, 19 October 2012

UK: Biblical Moral Law Ditched

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Faggotford County Court yesterday issued a verdict that a flaming gay couple who were turned away from a bed and breakfast were discriminated against due their sexual orientation.
Rupert Fitzsimon, 64, and Auntie Simon Fitzrupert, 59, had booked a double room at the Puritans Lodge Bed and Breakfast in Bummington-on-Sea via email to spend their 175-ers honeymoon following a civil partnership marriage ceremony at the St Sodom’s Church for Latter Day Iron Hoofs.

However, when they arrived in March 2010, the B & B owner, Mrs Gladys McTwatt, refused to allow them stay in a room with a double bed, citing the Holy Bible and the Old Testament’s Book of Leviticus 18:22 which states without a single shred of ambiguity that men playing the beast with two back are an unnatural ‘abomination’ – and further reinforced her denial of access with excerpts and quotes from Ezekiel 16:49-50, Jude 1:7 and the Gospel of Matthew 10:14-15.

Faggotford County Court Recorder Mingeeter Godermiche, handing down her verdict, opined that by refusing the male couple access to a double room, Mrs McTwatt had treated them less favourably than she would treat unmarried heterosexual couples in the same circumstances – to which the irate landlady protested “If they’s not married in the eyes of God then I don’t want them stayin’ in my B & B cos it’s an effin’ sin – whether it’s two women signin’ in as Madam an’ Eve - or two blokes posin’ as Adam an’ Steve. Believe me, this culture of political correctness where folks can’t say ‘Booo!’ ter a goose anymore an’ these barmy equality laws have gone too far when they start ter intrude inter a Christian family dwellin’ in total contradiction of wot Mother nature intended.”

“So wot’s next, we’ve got ter accept a bunch of pot-smokin’ hippies or rampant Hells Angels bikers on a Doggers Wood excursion - or some shepherd an’ a couple of effin’ sheep – or else I’m back here in court an’ up before the beak again?”
“I don’t allow no shit-stabbers or group sex clusterfucks either. Really, it’s simply not natural fer two grown men ter go sticking their willies up each other’s bums – an’ I don’t want ter find spunk stains or big skidmarks and poo all over the sheets when I come to change the beddings cos one of them’s got a prolapsed sphincter from getting’ dicked all night.”

Regardless of Mrs McTwatt’s protestations and threats to appeal, the gay couple, from Fudgers Common near Middlesex, were awarded £1,800 quid each due suffering ‘injury to their sensibilities’.

To wit, henceforth we are forced to accept that the basis of our moral laws, the Holy Bible, is to be binned and the scripture of Leviticus which states for the eternal record that in God’s opinion all sodomites are an abomination, is to be ignored and these unnatural and licentious two-legged ‘aberrations’ now have Broken Britain’s law courts on their side.

Conversely – or in the words of the youth of today ‘whatever’ - homosexuality and sodomy were imprisonable crimes until a few years ago and it’s the opinion of many that it is only due the fact Parliament and Whitehall are infested with brown hatter politicos and shirt lifting civil servant jobsworths – along with an unhealthy cadre of raving pederasts - that this law was ever revoked.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Great laugh, almost choked on my cuppa.