Friday, 29 June 2012

WTF! Banksters Immune from Prosecution?

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Much to the gleeful satisfaction of the UK’s cash-strapped common herd, still suffering the hangover throes of unemployment and the gutting of their quality of life following the bankster-initiated ‘Casino Investments’ financial crash of 2008 and their ensuing forced redundancies; the ubiquitous High Street rip-off merchants cum money lenders ‘Barclays’ have copped for a fine of £290 million nicker as a result of an investigation into accusations that several dodgy international banking institutions manipulated the daily setting of the London Interbank Offered Rate (Libor) and the Euro Interbank Offered Rate (Euribor) benchmark reference rates at which they lend to each other.

Together these represent two of the key interest rates in the global financial markets and directly influence the value of zillions of dollars of financial deals between banks and other institutions - and can further affect lending rates to the public regarding mortgage deals, the price of rice in China, and too the futures market for carbon friendly confetti.

Broken Britain’s super-snob Prime Minister, Posh Dave Scameron, interviewed by one press hack from the Scumbags Gazette, related that “The Barclays management team have been very naughty and should be made to stand in the corner for half an hour for manipulating the lending rates. Really, these people have got some serious questions to answer and it might just come down to doling out a few harsh slaps on the wrist and not the usual round of finger-wagging admonishments they’ve gotten away with in the past.”

Conversely New Labour’s feisty juvenile leader Ed Millipede informed the media “This waffle that Scameron’s going on about cannot end in a mere slap on the wrist. These shifty bastards are guilty of nurturing a culture of systematic dishonesty and should face the full force of the law - which means criminal prosecutions. Personally I’d like to see Sharia Law come into effect here and the guilty parties get their hands chopped off, the same as they would in Third World dumps like Saudi Arabia."

Bev ‘Pitbull’ McSkanger, the London-based director of enforcement at the Financial Services Authority, which imposed the hefty fines, told a reporter from the Scallies Review that "Barclays have been manipulating the core interest rates at which banks loan to each other – with the intent to benefit their traders and the bank's financial status.”
“These arseholes seem to have got it into their heads that they’re untouchable – and I’m out to prove they’re definitely not – especially so in the case of their head honchos, CEO Billy Bob Diamond and Chairman Marcus Agius– as these are the type of scumbags who intuitively prompt people to count their fingers after shaking hands with them.”

“Really, I don’t give a flying shit who they know or which Masonic lodge they belong to. Agius is just another deadleg Maltese pimp and as for ‘Buck-passing Bob’ Diamond, he might well be an adviser to London Mayor Bonkers Boris Nonsense and a big mate of ‘Austerity Dave’ Scameron and Raving Rupert Mudrock but I’m going to be filing a report with the Director of Public Prosecutions, Kier Stammerer QC and have these bastards behind bars as a deterrent to other shifty bankster types.”

“The entire caboodle are a nasty and dishonest bunch of bottom feeders who, along with their cohorts running the cutthroat Rothshite crime syndicate, seem to have revised the Malthusian concept of how to keep milking the cow while no longer feeding it – and that’s the reason for the financial mess Broken Britain’s in right now.”
“In the thick of the 2008 financial collapse the Barclays staff submitting estimates of their own interbank lending rates had ladders up against both sides of their Chinese Wall and were conniving with their own derivatives traders to put in figures that benefitted their trading positions, in order to boost the stock prices – plus their commissions and performance bonuses.”

For the uninitiated, Billy Bob Diamond is a child of the Great Satan who graduated summa cum laude in 1974 with an honours degree in Bean Counting from the prestigious Connecticut-based Wilkins Micawber Institute for Advanced Economic Guessology before moving on to work for First Boston and Morgan Stanley.

Other big names believed to be under investigation for their part in the criminal manipulation of the Libor benchmark reference rate include the US-based ShittyGroup and JP Moron Bank; Tel Aviv's St Shylock Bank of International Usury; the Royal Bank of Scumland; the Debtocracy Bank of Zurich; the International Bank of Hyper-Inflation and last but not least, the Cracow-based Polack Pikey Poachers Bank.

Thought for the day: So, what’s the betting that some hapless ‘Scapegoat Sally’ (or ‘Simon') gets it in the neck and leaves the top end boardroom types immune from prosecution?
But what else did anyone expect from a debt-based capitalist monetary system that produces end products of corporate greed, income disparities and social inequality – and a queue of supplicants worshipping before the altar of Mammon?

But hey, if it’s coming to criminal charges and prosecutions, then we might as well have Gordon ‘Incapability’ Brown and Lord Peter Scandalson indicted for their 2008 Bankster Bailout Bill - later amended by the Tory-dominated Libservative Coalition to become the Bankster Bailout & Guaranteed Bonus Act 2010.

While Barclays will be branded as 'Fast, Cheap and Out of Control' with the resignations of Agius and Diamond a certainty before the week's out, there's nothing less than this fitting Latin phrase to describe the current corrupt state of affairs: ‘Impunitas sempre ad deteriora invitat’ (Impunity always leads to greater crimes)

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.


Anonymous said...

Jesus the Messiah cast them out from the temple as usurious pariahs and a blight on humankind's aspirations.

Fletch said...

Like your 'Debtocracy' term. Pefect decription.