Saudi Princess Slapperella pulls a Moonlight

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

In yet another scandalous instance of Arab royals behaving badly, Saudi Arabian Princess Sharmuta bin Bala’a il A’air was collared and arrested by French police in the early hours of Saturday morning as she and a 60-strong entourage of humourless eunuchs, Latino gigolos and shifty burka-clad bints comprising her toyboy / lezbo harem - plus a mixed pottage of Nubian slaves, camels and goats - attempted to do a moonlight flit by sneaking out of the underground parking exit of a luxury Paris hotel without paying an outstanding six zillion-euro bill for the forty-plus suites and rooms.

Hotel security staff summoned the Gendarmerie as the former numero uno wife of Saudi Crown Prince Sheikh Eno Fizzy Al Kaseltzer - the man who holds the hereditary grazing rights to every hotel lobby carpet in the Gulf region – tried to pull a fast one and do a bunk from the Shangri-La Hotel on Avenue d’Léna where she’d been holed up since Christmas of 2011 without paying a single cent off the bill.

The Paris Plod Squad and hotel security blocked the car park exit and took Princess Sharmuta into custody, then impounded the trolleys of her extensive baggage train that were being loaded into a fleet of Mac and Kenwood limousines with a fork lift truck – along with a veritable cargo of pilfered hotel accoutrements and fixtures – comprising not only the usual items of slippers, towels, bath robes and mini-fridge booze - but hair dryers, corkscrews, phones, ironing boards, plasma TV’s, radios, flowers, luggage stands, coffee mugs and just about anything else that wasn't bolted down – including several Gideons-placed copies of the Holy Bible.

The gendarmes were put on a sticky wicket when the porcine Princess decided on a course of action that again involved her customary abuse of privilege - and as the ex-wife of the man second in line to the KSA throne, possessed with an absurd sense of entitlement since birth - exercised her unqualified arrogance and claimed diplomatic immunity.
Hence the Saudi Arabian Embassy was contacted as per usual, and the hapless Ambassador, Sheikh Ghaban Neekni bin Sahrawi al Shitbag, summoned to sort out the chaotic imbroglio.

Sharmuta has already established a notorious credit-impaired reputation for obtaining luxury goods around the French capital as she left bills of about 15 million euros for jewellery, clothes, sex toys, food, booze and hotel rooms unpaid in 2009 when she claimed diplomatic immunity as soon as the Ripoffs-R-Us fashion chain took legal action against her for an unpaid bill of 89,000 euros for a hand-crafted Faberge emerald and sapphire-studded vibrating godermiche.

As a result of that fracas a furious King Abdullah bin Fat Git ibn Tosspot al Saud then grounded the bitch and confined her to a palace for two years, as she was considered a royal pain in the arse.

Princess Sharmuta, who apparently studied ‘Economics’ at Oxford’s Wilkins Micawber College for Advanced Fiscal Juggling, was released from police custody on payment of the outstanding hotel bill by the Saudi Embassy and has since taken refuge with her raving poofter brother Sheikh Manuke Khara ibn Zamel and his cortege of catamites in the Fesad fel Arz Suite of Paris’s ten-star ultra-sybarite luxury Le Royal Monceau Hotel on Avenue de Sluts - owned by none other than the lard-arsed, war-mongering Emir of Qatari, Liwat ibn Himar bin Khalifa Al Thani – a fellow pederast who apparently gets off on the screams of sexually-abused children - and relishes the concept of goat shit being trodden into the hotel's sand-hued Axminster hallway carpets.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

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