DIY: Euthanasia for Dummies

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The Great Satan’s iconic Time magazine – perhaps much to the chagrin of its now-expired founders, Hadden and Luce, due being mired in socio-political controversy with last week’s ‘Breast Feeding’ cover shot of some sluttish buxom blonde engaging a pre-pubescent juvenile to stand on a chair and suck on her left nipple - has now set a politically-incorrect course by promoting a death agenda propaganda campaign in their latest issue, featuring a front page banner headline titled ‘Snuff-a-Granny’.

Inside, the magazine details several nitty-gritty cost-saving death programmes that can be tailored to suit individual needs, and encourages readers to literally ‘pull the tubes and wires’ (catheters, feeding, oxygen, saline, CCG monitor) on their ‘shelf life expired’ elderly parents and associated hangers-on relatives, causing them to go into shock, dehydrate and die.

The campaign, initially kick-started in 2011, is actually the brainchild of a team of doctors at the Harold Shipman Centre for Clinical Excellence in Las Vegas, whose joint paper on DIY Euthanasia - titled ‘Curbing excessive end-of-life care is good for the America Medical Insurance Corporations’ has been branded by civil liberties groups as promoting the same levels of depleted socio-moral conscience as the US military’s remote UAV MQ-9 Reaper assassination drone operators.

Dr Shylock Scumberg, writing in the Morticians Gazette last month, claims that promoting euthanasia does not devalue the lives of elderly citizens but is designed to encourage citizens to recognise their social responsibilities to the New World Order community as a whole and have their own 'suicide-reluctant' parents snuffed to reduce their suffering, free up care facilities – and reduce all-round nursing costs.

To wit, with the big medical insurance companies thus looking to save mega-bucks on care due the implementation of this Naziesque scheme they’ve come up with an ‘outcome-based’ IRS-exempt cash bonus award system for when families say “Fuck the grumpy old cow” and pull the plug on Grandma – eligible to be paid out as soon as the coffin hits the bottom of the grave – or the carbon-friendly crematorium chimney starts to smoke.

Thought for the day: So we mourn the passing of human compassion, a victim of the Orwellian Big Society state. So too for ‘Sympathy’ – now only to be found in the dictionary’s pages – squarely between ‘Shit’ and ‘Syphilis’.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

The Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.