Monday, 11 June 2012

Conflict of Interest, Anyone?

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

As Chairperson of the House of Conmans’ Chicken Little Energy and Climate Change Select Committee, Tim ‘Third Runway’ Yeo, the Tory MP for Deadwood, has been a most conspicuously influential voice on energy policy that purposely, and with malice aforethought, denigrates the interests of the fossil fuel industry while benignly promoting those of the ‘renewables’ – especially the anointed select few he has a personal ‘conflict of interest’ money-spinning involvement with.

While ‘Blight of the Horizon’ wind farms are anathema to the nature-loving (voting) British public, they are too the subject of increasing debate within the cross purpose Libservative Coalition, not least due widespread Conservative hostility to their placement and ridiculous subsidy agreements which equate with the operators being paid higher rates ‘not’ to generate electricity than for that which they do when supplying the National Grid.

However, as Chair of the Energy Committee, Yeo’s all for them and balls to the blighted landscape – and has further warned Chancellor George Osborne not to cut the mega-bucks subsidies for onshore turbines. In Yeo’s unqualified, corrupt opinion, the best way to win the stupid public’s acceptance of new wind farms is direct financial incentives.

Here might be a pertinent spot to reveal that the ‘conflict-of-interest-ridden’ Mr Yeo is chairman of Univent plc, chairman of TMO Renewables and non-executive chairman of AFC Energy plc. and Eco City Vehicles plc – whose personal mission statement in life is to consign fossil fuels back to the Stone Age. (Que - Jurassic, surely?)

So here we have the Chairman of a parliamentary select committee on energy and ‘climate change’ – (a phenomenon that sets and goes its own course in accordance with the capricious moods of our Sun, regardless of anthropogenic activities) - bollocks deep in a fermenting conflict of interest scandal – and to add to the festering imbroglio now touts an all-new Tory vote-winning strategy – actually bribing residents not to protest against onshore wind farms erected in their back garden beauty spots.

Yeo claims that the government must work harder to find places where wind farms are acceptable – such as de-industrialised areas of high unemployment where residents will sell their soul for a few bob – and to quote the man himself: “… be more creative about sharing some of the benefits directly with those local communities. Frankly, we need to be prepared to bribe them.”

In the current unsatisfactory state of affairs there are an excess of 3,000 onshore and over 500 offshore of the inefficient seagull-chopping monstrosities blighting Mother Nature’s beauty spots and the horizons of our once-sceptred isle – with the fatally-flawed Libservative Coalition’s energy plans suggesting that ministers want to more than double onshore wind generation capacity by 2020.

A hundred-plus Bolshie-minded Tory MPs have voiced the opinion that they’re collectively opposed to the building of new turbines, which can be up to 450 ft tall, stating the fucking obvious by declaring them to be unsightly – and highly inefficient if the wind isn’t blowing – and, laughably, shut down for safety reasons if there’s a howling gale.

Conversely the arch-vulgarian Yeo, who is rumoured to be a closet masturbator who jacks off while watching adult video footage of wind farms operating in a Beaufort scale Force 8, informed one press hack from the Vandals Gazette that the case for building thousands more was not being presented with optimum efficiency.
“I really sympathise with the peasant classes who can’t afford to lobby against Government policy and end up with wind farms around their sink or swim council housing estates, but they need to get with the programme and take a peek at the Big Society picture, and so bear their fair share of the environmental cost of powering Broken Britain’s telly’s and X-boxes – and generating a healthy profit for the alternative power companies.”

Thought for the day: To add to his litany of sins and environmental crimes, despite the committee releasing a report condemning the practice of ‘fracking’ in the UK (hydraulic fracturing of the sub-strata geology to release methane - and an undisclosed plethora of other toxic pollutants – including H2S and sub-atomic radioactive elements - into the groundwater system) Yeo has revised his personal opinion to suit corrupt commercial interests and now wholly supports the technique.

* Carbon Credit Offset / Cap & Trade Exchange (aka Global Warming / Pollution Reduction Scam) declaration: No trees, fish, cormorants, bumble bees or small furry mammals - otters or voles - were harmed in posting this message. However, a large number of electrons were temporarily inconvenienced.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

The Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

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