Thursday, 7 June 2012

US Atrocity Drones Kill Abu Yahya - Again

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Abu Yahya al-Libi, the head honcho of al-Qaeda and a Jolly Jihad muhijadeen leader bestowed with the nom de guerre of ‘Al Qitta’ (The Cat) for his veritable ‘nine lives’ indestructibility, was killed for the fourth time in as many months in yet another of the good ole US of A’s indiscriminate ‘assassination drone’ strikes – this time while attending a tribal jirga’s Diamond Jubilee street party celebration in the remote mountainous hinterlands of Krapistan on Sunday afternoon.

Spin doctors running the Black Propaganda Department at the Great Satan’s Pentagon maintain that following Osama Bin Laden's contrived resurrection and ‘Second Coming’ publicity stunt death last year in Pakiland – and his Egyptian-born lieutenant Mohammed al Ka-Boom being taken out by an Israeli Mossad ‘Kidon Unit’ hit squad with a radionuclide polonium-210 anal suppository - Abu Yahya, an Islamic scholar from Libya with no prior military training, assumed the mantle of leader of the mythical al-Qaeda terrorist group.

U.S. Secretary for Military Aggression, Leon Vendetta, interviewed on CNN’s ‘Warmongers Hour’ programme, revealed that Abu Yahya and muhijadeen fighters belonging to his Shaheed Semtex Vest Brigade, were watching QE2’s Royal Flotilla sailing up the River Thames on a portable TV – when he was identified by a pair of MQ-9 Reaper drones cruising at 25,000 feet and looking for something ‘Muslimish’ to blow up.

The ‘possible’ sighting was instantaneously relayed via satellite to the UAV Ground Control Station at Screech Air Force Base in Nevada where General Billy Bob Redneck immediately ordered anyone in the group with a beard targeted and loosed volleys of Shitstreak missiles into the Jubilee party gathering.

General Redneck confided to one press hack from the Psychopaths Gazette “No shit, I gotta get my kid’s X-Box 360 rigged with a satellite interface an’ sit at home slurpin’ cans of Coors Light and blastin’ the crap outa these towel heads then shoutin’ “Insha’Allah’ that motherfuckers!”
“Hellfire, this high altitude assassination game of shootin’ off a mix n match arsenal of 500 pound GBU-38 JDAM’s an’ GM-114 Hellfire missiles an’ GBU-12 Paveway II laser-guided bombs beats kiddie fiddlin’ an’ stranglin’ two-bit whores in Beltway motels any day of the week.”

“Believe me, the Reapers really made a clusterfuck of their Diamond Jubilee party – we copped every fucker and their dog there – and then a whole bunch of dumb-assed rescue workers who turned out to clean up the mess – then came back over the next day an’ blasted the shit out of the crowd who were stupid enough to show up for the mass funeral - men, women and kids. That Abu Yoyo guy won’t be issuing any more fatwas against our troops.”

For the record, Abu Yahya was reported killed in a drone strike in Iraq in 2007, twice in Pakistan in 2009, in Afghanistan’s Bellend Province in 2010, in Libya in 2011 - and again in Yemen two weeks ago - but each reported hit turned out to be yet another case of mistaken identity.

The Afghan / Pakiland ‘Stan’s’ frontier tribal regions are considered a hub of ‘Islamic terrorist activity’ by the homicidal maniacs steering the Great Satan’s Foreign Policy Initiative and Atrocity Agenda – with anything that moves in the region labelled as a legitimate target.
White House spokesman Jay Carney informed media hacks that the intelligence community had received semi-reliable information from someone named Achmed which led them to conclude Abu Yahya – or someone with a beard very similar to his - had been killed in Sunday’s initial mass murder air strike.

Thought for the day: Abu Yahya’s Facebook page bears a new posting with him holding a Tuesday copy of the International ZioNazi Gazette and the caption “Missed again, motherfuckers!”

To wit, fuck the Great Satan and their Protocols of the Greedy Bastard Elders of Zion’s ‘New World Order’.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

The Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.


Anonymous said...

Atrocity Agenda - lol's - love it

Tony said...

Ever since OBL "The mother of all boogeymen" was finally put to bed they just can't manage to create a big enough boogeyman so they have to keep on "killing" second rate al-CIAda plebs.