UN Sanctions on Syria Blocked

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

As the pro-Zionist Barky O’Barmy administration of the Great Satan go into hyper-propaganda mode, claiming Syrian President ‘Basher’ al Assad in now ensconced in his underground Fuhrer bunker as Damascus burns – alike Hitler before him in Berlin, circa 1945 - and the overthrow of the entire Ba’athist government by rampaging foreign-funded mercenaries posing as the Free Syrian Army only a couple of grenade throws away – Russia and China have once again pissed on the belligerent Western powers’ bonfire, refusing to back a contrived UN move by Secretary-General Ban Ki-Loon to impose Chapter Seven sanctions on the beleaguered regime.

While prompting an angry, dummy-spitting Western response, Russia and China vetoed the UN Security Council resolution, stating the case that any further sanctions would simply deny the Syrian people their God-given right (much vaunted by the meddling ZioNazi powers) of pursuing a truly democratic self-determination solution to their socio-political problems – by having a good all-round civil war and sorting their own shit out.

This is the third time Russia and China have jointly exercised their vetoes over the contrived ‘Syrian situation’ – with the UK’s pro-Zionist stooge of a Foreign Secretary Willy Vague condemning their latest action as inexcusable and indefensible - in an attempt to earn some brownie points from his Rothshite crime syndicate masters.

Under the US-Israeli proposed plot, Assad’s Damascus government was to be threatened with further non-military sanctions under Chapter Seven of the UN Charter if it failed to surrender to the rag-arsed Western-funded rebel mercenaries and face a veritable cocktail of concocted war crimes charges.

Conversely, it was the very mention of Chapter Seven that stirred Russian President Vlad Putrid’s ire and hence Moscow’s objections as it would serve to create the desired avenue to expedite UN-sanctioned external military involvement in Syrian domestic affairs.

In delivering their veto to the Security Council assembly, both China’s and Russia’s UN Ambassadors – Mr Fuk Yew Tu and Mr Vitaly Jerkoff - were obviously reflecting on the Machiavellian manoeuvring that led to the passing of the UN’s sneaky Chapter Seven sanctions that implemented the ‘no-fly zone’ and ‘humanitarian intervention’ campaigns against Libya – which resulted in the deaths of hundreds of thousands of hapless civilians, the abolition of law and order, the arming of every trigger-happy brainless fucker and their dog - and the total destruction of the North African showpiece nation’s infrastructure – all to achieve regime change from the bonkers Gaddafi’s benign dictatorship and seize control of the natural resources.

In response to the veto, the US Ambassador to the UN, Peggy-Sue Rice, lying through her teeth as per usual, informed one press hack from the Warmongers Gazette that any suggestion by the Ruskies and the sneaky Chinks of the Great Satan fielding a military force against Syria’s Assad regime was "paranoid if not disingenuous".

The French envoy, Pierre le Merde, accused both Moscow’s and Beijing’s ambassadors of seeking to gain some breathing space for the Syrian regime to rearm and deploy troops - while the US’s Rice further stated that Washington planned to intensify efforts outside the Security Council’s scope - by having their pro-Zionist stooge Qatari and Saudi Arabian proxies further fund and arm the Free Syrian rebel mercenaries - and get the rogue state of Israel’s PM, Bobo Nuttyahoo, to send in more of Mossad’s ‘Sonnerad’ agent provocateurs.

Justifying the Russian veto to the media, Moscow’s Foreign Minister Oleg Pissedoffsky, an ardent student of history, informed one press hack from the Hypocrisy Gazette, “We are not stupid and know what comes next – a repeat of the Great Satan’s ‘Project for a New American Century’ – or ‘Foreign Policy Initiative’ whatever they choose to call the land-steal - which translates as the re-branded ‘Protocols of the Greedy Bastard Elders of Zion’ – and a repeat of the ‘kill-every-fucker’ Libyan debacle that achieved its objectives with the murder of Gaddafi and seizing control of the oil reserves – while leaving in their wake chaos, partition, subdivision, warlords, Balkanization, and another aspiring nation returned via force of arms to Third World status.”

“Why is it these Zionist stooges, the rug-munching US Secretary of Sleaze, Hilarious Rodent Clinton and this little shit of a British Foreign Secretary Willy Vague, are seeking with spite and malice to further isolate the Assad regime by encouraging Arab nations to impose travel bans and asset freezes when they should be supporting the incumbent government?”
“They support the Bahrain regime and never utter one word of criticism or protest against the despotic barbarism - imprisonment and tortures - visited on the pro-democracy activists by the dictatorial ruler – Sheikh Fizzy al-Kaseltzer and his government of career psychopaths and kleptomaniacs?”

Thought for the day. Gossip and general tittle-tattle that the Free Syrian Army mercenaries are now manning the border immigration and passport control points of the beleaguered country are as yet unconfirmed.

Rumours that the suicide bomber responsible for blasting a cadre of the Assad regime’s top officials to smithereens in Damascus on Wednesday was part of a Kidon team of Mossad’s NLP brainwashed Semtex Stooges also responsible for the false flag “Iran did it!” terrorist attack on a busload of Israeli tourists in Bulgaria on the same day have been partially confirmed after CCTV footage of the villain revealed he was not a Mid-East Arab type but a ginger-mingin Caucasian patsy carrying a US passport and driving licence.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

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