Posh Dave Bars Greek Scroungers

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The UK’s super-snob of a Tory Slime Minister, Posh Dave Scameron, threw a bit of a racist wobbler earlier this week, stating for the public record that he’s ready to order the Borders Agency to block the entrance of Greek immigrants if the bankrupt nation’s ruling Kleptocracy Party technocrats get the country kicked out of the fatally flawed eurozone for failing to implement and enforce in entirety the draconian austerity measures stipulated by the EUSSR’s Bank of International Usury or default on the crippling interest payments of their mega-zillions €uro loans.

Speaking before the House of Conmans Liaison Committee on Tuesday, Scameron claimed he would take whatever measures were required to prevent legions of smelly Greek economic migrants, bent on fleeing their crippling recession, from entering Britain and signing on at the soon-to-be-renamed ‘Joblesscentre’.
“Hopefully our Borders Agency has a contingency plan for this sort of thing up their sleeve as we simply can’t have a bunch of scrounging Greek refugees coming over here and undercutting the minimum wage employment market - and doing thousands of our cheap labour Eastern European Polish pals out of a job.”

Scameron’s drastic actions were backed up by Home Secretary Theresa Maybe, who informed one press hack from the Xenophobes Gazette that “Immigration Minister Damian Greenfly and his Borders Agency are getting the barricades ready to prevent nationals from the EUSSR community from turning up on our doorstep if the euro currency goes totally tits up - as we have a reputation for being a soft touch and handing out welfare benefits to any old refugee and their dog.”

“Okay, before the Brussels bureaucrats kick off that people from the EUSSR community countries are entitled to live and work anywhere within the single market, it’s a fact that Britain’s already ‘broken’ enough and we can’t afford to support any more scrounging pikeys who’ve made a total fuck up of their own economies.”

New Labour’s child leader Ed Millipede was present in Parliament following his Tuesday morning playschool class and wholeheartedly agreed with the Libservative Coalition’s fears that certain cash-strapped EUSSR nationals (Greeks, Wops, Dagos, Paddys) might regard Broken Britain as an economic safe haven due it being a sensible non-eurozone country – even though the UK’s economy is in a double-dip recession – (read chronic 1930’s style ‘Depression’ with a large capital D).

However Millipede then raised the embarrassing question of what strategy would be employed by the labour-depleted ranks of the Borders Agency to prevent Greek refugees sneaking into the country – as they already have 160,000-plus visa-expired illegals running loose and unaccounted for around our green and pleasant land – not to mention the thousands of dodgy immigrants and refugees incarcerated in the Belmarsh holiday camp, and a host of other prisons, who are appealing against deportation orders.

Conversely, Posh Dave’s ‘Fuck the Greeks’ speech in Parliament has caused a backlash not only from Brussels but also Athens, with Greece's new thirteen-party coalition government’s Finance Minister, Spiros Zippo, informing the media “This elitist public school prat Scameron is threatening immigration policing measures which violate all principles, basic freedoms and rules of the European Union.”
“Why would any self-respecting Greek peasant living in the Mediterranean coastline zone want to go to Britain with their fog and rain - and such bad weather it would make a pig sick.”

Nice one Dave, how to make friends and influence people. Oh well, he has the reputation for being the kind of bloke you can take anywhere twice – the second time to apologise.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

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