Big Brother Recruits Snitch n Grasser Corps

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Thousands of control freak civilians, trained (read NLP brainwashed) in the art of intimidation by the notorious Common Purpose social engineering group, are forming the core of PM ‘Austerity Dave’ Scameron’s expanding Big Society busybody volunteer army of social misfits erroneously bestowed with Gestapo-style powers to issue ‘on the spot’ fines and demand personal information from any member of the hapless public they single out and choose to bully into a state of submissive compliance.

The Twat-Watch civil liberties group yesterday warned that this imprudent and dangerous trend, introduced by the Police Reform Act 2002, is resulting in Plod Squad powers being handed out like condoms at a pop festival – with the 2008 headcount of 1,406 official Snitch n Grass snoopers, which include traffic marshals, private security guards, street sweepers, dustbin men and gulley-sucker’s mates - and an assortment of other minimum wage dildos smitten with their own unqualified arrogance but, alas, Neanderthal IQs, now swelling their ranks to a total of 2,647 cheap labour Stasi agents.

Their numbers rose steeply under the ginger-mingin Jacqui Smith, New Labour’s incumbent MP for Redface and a former Home Secretary – who gained a 10 out of 10 score on the notoriety scale due claiming for porno-DVD rentals from Cock-Buster on her Parliamentary expenses – a howler she blamed on her dog-wanking tosspot of a husband, Dicky ‘Page 3’ Timmins. However, a closer look at Jacqui, the ‘schwein en schlippe’ (pig in knickers) ranga troll and who can blame the poor bloke for needing some sort of masturbation aid.

Twat-Watch has submitted requests under the Freedom of Information Act to the 43 police forces in England and Wales and discovered that 28 of them operate what they term Community Safety Accreditation Schemes – a misnomer considered by civil liberties critics to be a euphemism for fielding a series of totalitarian panopticon surveillance projects manned by moronic and officious pariahs kitted out in brown shirts and jackboots and a Batman belt loaded with a Dick Tracy radio, a Taser and pepper spray - and wearing a hi-viz Renta-Thug jacket displaying their laminated swastika emblem ID badge and an inset micro-CCTV camera to film and record their hapless prey.

While wholly ignoring the Bill of Rights of 1688 and its statutory version of 1689, which is a primary statute that states “All grants and promises of fines and forfeitures of particular persons before conviction are illegal and void” - under the Community Safety Accreditation Schemes introduced by Tony Bliar’s Police Reform Act 2002, a chief constable can give employees of councils and private security firms powers to carry out specific, approved militaristic roles - such as beating alcoholic news vendors to death and shooting Brazilian electricians.

Under the scheme they do not answer to any ‘higher’ (sic) authority and the police forces sanctioning these ‘accreditation’ projects don’t keep track on the Stasis operatives or who pockets the spot fines cash collected via handing out fixed penalty notices for dog fouling, littering, cycling on a footpath or fly-posting New Labour election notices – and demand the name and address of homeless agitators engaged in treasonous acts of oppositional defiance - or domestic terrorism – such as questioning their illusory powers of authority and telling them to ‘go and fuck spiders’.

Thus with the militarisation of civilian agencies, these Renta-Thugs will be empowered to confiscate alcohol, cigarettes and soft drugs such as dolly mixtures from school children and issue fixed penalty notices of up to £80 quid for acts of public disorder – such as a gang of teenage lager louts high on Old Headbanger Special Brew giving the council’s Civil Enforcement snoop a good kicking - which will be recorded in the GCHQ’s ‘666 Beast’ computer databanks.

So this is the latest from the Libservative Coalition’s fascist-titled Ministry of Compliance – the one with the scold’s bridal and leg irons escutcheon adorning the official letterhead – and a neo-Nazi jackboot stamped on the neck of our smitten once-Socratic society.
Doubtless the aim will proceed along the customary tip-toe lines until they achieve the same as the Yanks over in the Great Satan with their Department of Homeland Insecurity and the Federal Emergency Military Administration - and laws to lock up every fucker and their dog on suspicion of not voting Tory at the last election.

Perhaps this is what Scameron and Co have lined up for us. Carbon copies of the US / Great Satan’s ‘Violent Radicalization and Homegrown Terrorism Prevention Act’ and ‘National Defence Authorization Act’ - whose Section 1021 sanctions the indefinite military detention of American citizens without charge or access to legal representation.

We’re already blighted with stop n search orders under Section 60 of the Criminal Justice Order Act of 1994 that allow searches without reasonable suspicion.
We further have the Police Reform & Social Responsibility Act 2011; the Regulation of Investigatory Powers Act; and too the Police and Criminal Evidence Act - Section 19 of which means Plod Squad thugs can seize any item they consider might just contain evidence in relation to an offence – such as your snot rag, socks or a pack of Polo mints.

Then we have the Community Safety Accreditation Scheme which bestows any and all from the Renta-Thug Agency: PCSOs and Community Enforcement Officers, Bailiffs, Special Constables, Tipstaffs, Traffic wardens, Water bailiffs, Wildlife inspectors, ‘Wheelie bin recycling technicians’ - and a host of other like officious psycho social misfits - with the powers of life and death over the hapless public.
And to cap the insanity we have the Protection of Freedoms Act 2012 – a joke in itself - which does no such thing.

So, what the fuck next, might we ask? Loitering with intent at zebra crossings is now to be considered a ‘terrorist offence’ by some Community Enforcement thug or Lollipop Lady?

Ye Gods, what has our sceptred isle now become – but morphed into a mess of fucking pottage - a land of twitching curtains and slanderous fishwife gossip.
We are ruled by pompous petty bureaucrats suffering from megalomaniacal complexes and posturing themselves as Alpha Males – and too Alpha Dykes – along with officious sociopathic morons from the Renta-Thug Security Agency, equipped with single figure IQ’s posing as Community Enforcement Officers – and to cap off the travesty, corrupt social services criminals filling secret family courts with ‘desirable’ children, snatched from their parents as fodder for Masonic officialdom’s kiddie fiddling paedophile rings.

Hmmm, Community Enforcement Officer – the name has a sinister Naziesque ring about it – reminiscent of a repressive, dystopian nightmare manifested into actual reality to perpetuate the essential divide and conquer class struggle. A draconian paramilitary order staffed by officious sociopaths and fascist pariahs that would harbour no compunction or second thoughts over turning on the Zyklon B gas in the communal showers – or stoking the gulag’s crematorium ovens.

Thought for the day: The Libservative Coalition has manifested into a living, breathing example that the Peter Principle is a spot-on aphorism to describe a bureaucracy.

Well, if it wasn’t bad enough kitting these control freak tosspots out with pepper spray and teaching them how to operate a water cannon and shoot baton rounds, now they’re going to be instructed on the ‘safe use’ of the LRAD 1000Xi ‘sound cannon’ that broadcasts a focused beam of orders and warnings over distances up to 3,000 meters to peacefully resolve uncertain situations - blasting the ear drums out of any Bolshie anarchist types.

Regardless, fuck Big Brother – and his sister – and the New World Order.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.