Plod Squad Perv’s Get Away With Rape

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The gospel according to an investigation carried out by the Daily Shitraker, which analysed a plethora of data from court cases and misconduct hearings, over the past four years it was discovered there have been 56 instances involving Plod Squad scallies and PCSOs who were found guilty of abusing their positions of public trust and care - or were investigated for acts of rape – and sexually assaulting or harassing women – and men (depending on the sexual orientation of the offending officer).

The Daily Shitraker investigation was prompted by the case of the Smegmashire PCSO Jack D. Ripper who was jailed for life in January 2011 for carrying out a series of violent sex attacks on vulnerable women, including prostitutes and Marmite addicts, while he was on duty and getting paid to pursue his criminal perversions.

In response to the shocking report, the IPCC - Independent Police Coverups Commission – in conjunction with the Association of Chief Plods - have been coerced into carrying out a joint inquiry into the scale of such criminality inside their graft and corruption-ridden organisation – and too the efficacy of the police complaints system - which optimists claim will be published in report format by September 2014 – while the pessimist corner have warned “Don’t hold your breath”.

The offending officers involved come from all ranks within the service: the most senior officer accused of serious sexual harassment was a deputy chief constable, who was subject to 26 complaints by a most unlucky 13 female police staff who got bored and frustrated with his amateur gropings and decided to grass him up.

Frank McScrote, deputy chief constable of the Scumford-on-Sea Plod Squad, was found dead in the David Kelly Memorial Woods last year, having committed suicide by overdosing on high octane rhubarb. An inquest concluded his self-harm death was most likely initiated out of embarrassment over being summoned to appear before an IPCC inquiry into his sexual misconduct behaviour against WPCs under his command after one split-arsed officer testified he was impotent and only succeeded in satisfying her through ‘dexterous use of his truncheon’

Many of the cases documented by the Daily Shitraker’s press hacks involve plods accessing the police national computer to source details of vulnerable women and young people in order to initiate sexual contact – and in many cases demanding they perform acts of ‘inappropriate’ sexual behaviour to avoid arrest – (as opposed to ‘appropriate’ acts) – with these corrupt libidinous practices going unreported by the victims lest they end up getting another unsolicited ‘good seeing to’.

Ms Mingeeter Godermiche, a lawyer with Upshot, Bagrot & Shitpot (Solicitors) who has represented women sexually assaulted by police officers, revealed that “A lot of this stems from failures in the vetting procedures which were relaxed post-2001 during a surge in police recruitment – and involved the hiring of some 2,650 trainee plods – 10% of who were registered sex offenders with convictions for fudge rape, molesting women, kiddie fiddling – plus acts of zoophilia. And that is only a sampling of the sadists and intimidating pervs who the uniform and job attracts due the inherent opportunities to commit dirty deeds of sexual criminality with sure-fire impunity.”

Alas it is a sad fact that the secret handshake upper ranks of the Plod Squad have a history of conspiring to cover up crimes committed by ‘their own’.

If it takes three years to get one of the Plod Squad’s murderers into court – specifically the craven Slimy Simon Harwood, an acting officer with the Met’s Territorial Thug Unit who was video’d brutally attacking an innocent passer-by (Ian Tomlinson) from behind – in true bully-boy fashion - which resulted in his untimely death – then what chance have we of ever seeing a mere uniformed rapist prosecuted unless he’s caught ‘in flagrante delicto’ with his cock stuck up some unwilling, screaming female of the species?

Thought for the day. Well, it’s a fact we can’t trust the police – nor the poxy government – New Labour, the Tories, or the Librarian-Dummercrats – nor this clusterfuck of a Libservative Coalition – especially so after the lies and official complicity surrounding the illegal invasion of Iraq, the assisted suicide of Dr David Kelly, and the 7/7 false flag attacks - perpetuated by the intelligence services to justify the War on Terror and further demonise Islam and the UK’s Muslim communities.

And as to the Independent Police Coverups Commission – they’re collectively a bunch of vacillating imbeciles who have long ago pawned whatever moral franchise and credibility they ever possessed. Even acid sarcasm fails to do them justice.

Broken Britain’s entrenched elitist ruling class control all things political and economic – the Plod Squad included - to the detriment of the many and the benefit of the few. All administered by a bloated civil service of public school perverts – an insidious cabal of opportunist kiddie fiddlers and fudgers – running our once-sceptred isle via a cocktail of secret handshakes, blackmail and buggery – and all protected by those bent guardians of the propertied upper class - ‘the Police’

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.