Migrant Workers Entitled to Steal UK Jobs

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Our once-sceptred isle’s clusterfuck of a Libservative Coalition government has suffered a potentially serious legal setback in its efforts to reduce the numbers of migrant workers in the UK as the Supreme Court has this week ruled that ministers do not possess any form of Plan B authority to bar foreign workers from Europe due devolution of immigration and labour powers to Brussels.

Under the dictatorial fascist regulations legislated by the EUSSR, economic migrants and other generalised scrounging twats from around the insolvent 27-nation Debtocracy community are legally entitled to enter Broken Britain at will and sign on at the nearest Joblesscentre Plus office, then steal remunerative employment from under the noses of out-of-work Brits.

The House of Conmans Hinduja Affairs Committee chairman Keith ‘I Beat Bulimia’ Vaz, himself a product of the foreign immigrant job stealing system (Yemeni / Indian) obviously suffering from a very selective memory, spoke with a gutter press hack from the Graft & Corruption Gazette outside his office at Nadhmi Auchi House on Thursday and claimed the ruling had delivered the final ‘nail in the coffin’ blow to the current Punch and Judy Show immigration policy and flawed points / merit visa system.

The Supreme Court’s Lord Stairrod of Axminster & Wilton, along with fellow judge Lord Dyson of the Vacuum Cleaners, warned that Parliament's system for overseeing immigration rules is no longer fit for purpose, especially since the Borders Agency went into self-harming auto-redundancy mode and laid off the entire staff - including Tiddles the office moggie.

The ruling came in the case of Achmed Jaffacake, a Pakiland national who came to the UK in 2003 as a student then stayed on following the completion of his studies and graduating with a degree in Welfare Benefit Fraud, to join the prestigious Rochdale Taxi Drivers Guild and pimp vulnerable underage slappers with body temperature IQs.

In 2009, Mr Jaffacake married his common law partner, Chlamydia Trollenberg, the 16-year old Estonian immigrant operator of Rochdale’s Lotsatottie Rub n Tug Massage Salon and immediately applied for further leave to remain under the revised ‘Points-Based System’ rules for migrant workers, which calculated the type of skills that would most benefit the UK commercial economy.
However the Home Office decided Jaffacake did not qualify as the UK already had an over-abundance of foreign taxi drivers – and lowlife kiddie-fiddling pimps.

Interviewed on the BBC’s Scrounging Gits Hour programme, Vaz – the New Labour MP for Red Leicester - explained that “This is one of the problems of allowing the EUSSR a say in Britain’s immigration policy and still having this hang-over from Empire’s Day when anyone with a perma-sun tan could come here and set up a tent then bring their relatives over as well.”

“Obviously this Supreme Court ruling now throws open the immigration doors to every gyppo swan roaster and carp-poaching scumbag from across Europe to simply walk in and set up shop, so our Coalition leaders, Messrs Scameron and Clogg need to get their proverbial shit together and pass some new pikey-proof laws.”

Hmmm, short memories indeed – thank you Keith Vaz.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

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