Pentagon Medals for Armchair Assassins

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

In what is probably the most fucked up idea they’ve had since their last fucked up idea, the putrid Pentagon’s Joint Chiefs of Staff, in a moronic effort to classify drone warfare as a courageous and noble endeavour in the field of human conflict, want awards for bravery bestowing on the armchair psychos who murder Muslim peasants by remote control targeting with clusterfuck bombs and Shitehawk missiles in far-off Third World shitholes such as Afghanistan, Pakiland, Yemen and Somalia.

Speaking to a press hack from the Warmongers Gazette earlier this week, Colonel Billy Bob Redneck, in what came across as the devious musings of a calculating psychopath, announced that Pentagon bosses are considering awarding a Distinguished Murder Medal to drone pilots who work on ground-control station military bases inside the good ole US of A – and far removed from the actual blood and gore-splattered battlefields.

Redneck, who flew a Marine Corp A-10 Warthog on combat missions during the illegal invasion of Iraq before switching to being a UAV MQ-1 Predator drone pilot in 2004 after mistakenly bombing a Baghdad hospital, an orphanage and a kindergarten in the same week, claims that “The remote operation of the missile-loaded flying drones takes real guts – especially when your supervisor is looking over your shoulder at the display screen – all in ‘Gorgon Stare’ real time digital colour action - and says “That looks like one of al Qaeda’s Semtex Saracen scumbags at the front of the funeral procession – take the fuckin’ lot out just to make sure.”

“Hey, we’re not just playing video games here. Nowadays I let the new MQ-9 Reaper’s do a big circle at 30,000 feet while the dust clears, then all the other terrorist types come rushing out of their hovels to see what the hell went Ka-fucking-Boom – and while these stupid arseholes are picking up the wounded and playing dot-to-dot jigsaw games with all the dismembered arms and legs, then I let fly with a couple more missiles and take them out as well – double jeopardy bug splat.”

So, while the Great Satan’s homicidal maniacs, now desensitised to the slaughter of their fellow human beings and totally devoid of a moral conscience, sit back and psycho out with their X-Box 360 remote control consoles, we are left to ponder on the Pentagon’s one-size-fits-all modern warfare approach to every fucking thing – and how, via the vehicle of Arab Springs and humanitarian intervention black propaganda campaigns, they’ve lowered the threshold for what justifies war – in the interests of ZioNazi corporate neo-colonialism.

Hence we consider the armchair assassins who, with ten thousand miles between them, fail to differentiate between friend or foe / armed insurgent (read patriot / freedom fighter) or civilian, man women or child – are the Grim Reaper’s insidious little helpers - agents of death become – and the type of scum who would turn on the Zyklon B gas in FEMA’s concentration camp showers and stoke the crematorium ovens without batting an eye.

Thought for the day. PlayStation warfare only provides risk-free enjoyment for the dehumanised homicidal maniacs sat holding the joystick and pressing the remote-control ‘exterminate’ buttons – while those targeted never get to see the fun side of the game.

Alas, for purposes of belligerence we command a technology of far greater evolution than our moral and intellectual abilities to rationally commit such to destructive use.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a nut-infested area and may contain traces of lunacy and/or squirrel shit.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.