Friday, 20 July 2012

HSBC Takes Over From BCCI

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The gospel according to a US Senate committee investigating illegal money laundering operations by the Hong Kong & Shanghai Banking Corporation, a commercial bank not wholly controlled by the Rothshite crime syndicate, claims they provided a financial conduit for drug cartels, terrorist organisations, arms dealers and dodgy Third World despots involved with smuggling conflict diamonds, rhino horns and sex slave trafficking.

The US Department of Graft & Corruption, currently conducting a criminal investigation into HSBC's operations, presented evidence that the bank had knowingly laundered funds not only for the Big Al Qaeda Gang and the notorious Afghan terrorist Taliban Dan, but also the Mexican Pendejo drug cartel, moving zillions of dollars into their Cayman Islands branch via what became known to bank exec’s as ‘Beaner account transfers’.

According to the Senate committee, HSBC accepted more than $15 trillion in cash from subsidiaries in Mexico for money laundering at their Houston-based ‘Washarama’ deposit clearing facility but failed to conduct any due diligence checks or monitoring of these bulk cash illicit transactions, claiming the suitcases of high denomination bills were the proceeds from lucky Lotto draws and offshore gambling wins – and often smeared with large gobs of salsa.

The president and chief executive of HSBC Bank USA, Candida Scumerotti, apologised to the Senate committee for their criminal behaviour which she related was deeply regretted – especially the getting caught red-handed part – which prompted HSBC's head of compliance, Ronnie McScrote, to resign and flee to parts unknown – along with HSBC executive Shylock Scattstein, who was head of retail banking and quit due to ill health to concentrate on his personal wealth management issues.

Ms Scumerotti announced that "Obviously it is a disappointing fact that HSBC did not live up to the expectations of our regulators, our customers, our employees, and the general public – even if our money-laundering clients were happy with our performance and gave us a ten out of ten score. However that’s the way with corporate greed, when the dollars are simply rolling in. Just ask Lloyd Wankfiend and the boys at Gold-in-Sacks for confirmation on that point."

Thought for the day: Hmmm, obviously HSBC have stepped in to fill the vacuum and assume the mantle left by the dissolution of the Bank of Crime and Corruption International (BCCI), founded in 1972 by Agha Hasan Abedi, a Pakistan-based Indian crime lord, aka the sub-continent’s answer to Rasputin – that laundered money for every bent fucker and their dog – including drug cartels, Western intelligence agencies, illegal arms dealers – and Old Uncle Tom Cobley and all.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

With the Libor and money laundering and whatever, we come down to the fact of "what's the difference between a multi-national bank and an organised crime syndicate?" - Absolutely none!