Syrian Diplomat Gets Offer He Can’t Refuse

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Mr Liwat Manuke Khara, Syria's envoy to Iraq, who last week defected to the ranks of the rebel opposition, is, in a fashion typical of traitors, safely far away from any front line action and ensconced in Qatar.

Ex-Ambassador to Iraq, Manuke Khara, the first senior Syrian diplomat to abandon President ‘Basher’ al-Assad, is now appearing nightly on Al Jazeera television to urge every other Syrian and their dog to follow suit and defect to the Western-backed rebel cause and overthrow the incumbent Russian-aligned Ba’athist regime.

In response to Ambassador Manuke Khara’s treachery, the Damascus-based Syrian Foreign Office is rumoured to have formally terminated his diplomatic status, cancelled his passport, blocked his salary payments and pension, frozen bank accounts, arrested his 96-year old grandma on suspicion of aiding and abetting a known terrorist – and nailed her pet cat to the front door.

Manuke Khara confided to one press hack from the Apostate’s Gazette that “A bunch of CIA and Mossad scumbags turned up at our Baghdad Embassy and one of them held a 9mm pistol to the side of my head while the other placed an attaché case on my desk, filled with US$100 bills – and asked if I wanted to play ‘Double Jeopardy’ – take the money or have my brains blown out.”

“Well, it was an offer I simply could not turn down – especially when handed the deeds to a nice beach front bungalow in California’s Point Mugu State Park, only 20 miles from LA.”
“Now they have given me this book to read, Black Propaganda for Dummies and all I have to do is appear on Al Jazeera chat shows and news programmes for a couple of weeks and bad-mouth old Basher and the Ba’athist regime to push the UN humanitarian intervention case so that Iblis the Great Satan, can send in the NATO forces and make a real ‘Jahannum’ fuck up of Syria the same as they have with Iraq and Libya – and pretty much everywhere else they set their greedy neo-colonial eyes on and loose these venal pro-Zionist ‘Moharebeh’ and ‘Fesad fel Arz’ campaigns.”

“So for tonight’s TV interview I’m to lie to the media that Assad is digging out his stockpiles of Soviet-supplied chemical weapons of mass distraction, especially the sarin gas, ready to decimate the Democracy-loving opposition forces of the Free Syrian Army – and perpetuate the myth that they are really Syrians and not a bunch of imported Arab mercenaries from Libya and other Mid-East shitholes, all funded and armed by Qatar and Saudi Arabia – and being directed by Israeli agents in place.”

Meanwhile, Brig-Gen Ghaban ibn Himar - who fled Syria last week after accepting a similar mega-bucks ‘Do or Die’ offer from Mossad thugs - has been in touch with the Free Syrian Army rebel opposition from his hideout in a Turkish brothel just outside Istanbul, attempting to seek news concerning rumours that his family had been arrested by the regime’s secret police and were now a scheduled item on Assad’s Tishreen Palace security Rottweiler’s dinner menu.

In a stellar display of paradoxical perversity, Ibn Himar informed media hacks that “How can I continue with this Zionist-concocted fiction to slander and villainise Basher Assad and the Damascus government as the perpetrators of these atrocities expeditied by the rebel mercenaries against our civilian population when my family are going to end up as dog food.”

“To save my family I cannot push their weapons of mass destruction scam so the Israeli psychos have an excuse to launch an attack from the Golan and send in their homicidal maniacs from the 21st Half Cock Brigade. I must now tell it the way it is: that these so-called rebels are not Syrians on a pro-Democracy mission but the Grim Reaper’s insidious little helpers and Zionist-paid mercenaries - agents of death bent on a course of military aggression and corporate imperialism.”

“We know what the West wants – to swap order for chaos and create yet another quagmire of ethnic and sectarian violence – Afghanistan, Iraq and Libya – now our Syria – and then Iran. But one thing is perfectly clear – self-determination is out of the window as far as the pro-ZioNazi Western puppet powers are concerned.”
“Thus we shall see yet again, far from the periphery of parliamentary and media scrutiny they are pushing to unify public sentiment to endorse a repeat of the Libyan atrocities under the criminal guise of UN / NATO humanitarian intervention.”

The US Secretary of Sleaze, Hilarious Rodent Clinton, in Israel for talks with PM Bobo Nuttyahoo, informed salivating press hacks that Britain, France, the US and Germany would propose making compliance with a Syrian ceasefire mandatory under Chapter 7 of the UN charter now that 100-plus compliant Rothshite crime syndicate Central Bank-dominated nations had been coerced to petition the UN Security Council to invoke Article 41 of Chapter 7, which stops short of military intervention.

Article 41, described by military strategists as being ‘as much use as tits on a bull’, enables the Security Council to enact measures not involving armed force and suspend economic and diplomatic relations as well as rail, sea and other communications – including membership of Book of the Month Club.

However, if Article 41 measures are inadequate, Article 42 enables Security Council to take action by air, sea or land forces for international peace and security – as they did in Libya - with Article 43 presenting the stand-by end game solution to all the problems – which will authorise expediting the overthrow of the Assad regime – by nuking Damascus.

Thought for the day. An age-old adage states that one should choose their enemies with great care. In light of the sabre-rattling by the morally-bankrupt Great Satan and the rogue state of Israel against Syria and Iran – with Russia and China opposing a repeat of the UN-sanctioned NATO mass murder campaign that left LIbya in a state of devastation and chaos – we wonder if the US and their Zionist controllers in Tel Aviv have truly deluded themselves into believing these are conflicts they can win – or are they actually bent on a course of self-destruction?

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.