Friday, 4 May 2012

Mudrock’s Sun Cops ‘Woy’ Insult Flack

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

If News International hasn’t already committed a classical Greek tragedy (read ‘Keystone Kops’ farce) felo de se over the News of the World phone hacking / police bribery and corruption scandal, with their litany of lies, crimes and misdemeanours under the scrutiny of the Leveson Inquiry’s judicial probe into press standards and the extent of unlawful / improper conduct – plus the Met Plod Squad’s continuing triple investigations into hacking and bribery - the gutter press news group’s red top tabloid ‘The Sun’ was yesterday pilloried and branded ‘a bag of shit’ for their front page story, poking fun at England’s new soccer team manager, Woy Hodgson, over his speech impediment.

The Sun's banner headline 'Bwing on the Euwos!' has led to thousands of protests to the Football Association and the Press Complaints Commission – besides numerous bricks being lobbed through News International’s Wapping office windows by fanatical soccer fans – along with a barrage of rotting fish – and graffiti sprayed across the outside of the building proclaiming to the world that the rag’s arrogant editor ‘Dirty Dominic Mohan is a Right Kunt’.

Mohan, the type of person who gives peeping toms a bad name, has apparently sought 24/7 police protection since receiving a stream of death threats via text and email messages – with the main theme being that the front page story was “an unacceptable piece of piss-taking" – and West Brom fans in particular were out to stuff Mohan into an MI6 style North Face holdall with a rabid Pit Bull Terrier and toss the lot into the Thames.

Ultra die-hard England supporter and West Brom' season ticket holder Bazzer McScrote told one press hack from the Scallies Review “I’ve bin involved in soccer hooliganism fer 20 effin’ years an’ this has got ter be the biggest insult ter a team manager wot I’ve ever heard. Okay, Woy was a right old fuck-up when he woz at Scouseland wiv the Anfield lads but just cos he sounds like a bit of a twat cos he can’t pronounce his R’s doesn’t mean ter say the Sun’s got ter insult the poor fucker on the front page.”

Likewise, FA spokesman Trev Skanger issued a media statement announcing "We are delighted at the overall media response to Woy's appointment but wholly dissatisfied with The Sun’s headline, which we consider is in poor taste and disrespectful – but you can’t educate pork - and in both Dominic Mohan’s and Rupert Mudrock’s cases, the best you can expect from a pig is a fucking grunt."
News Corp’s anally-retentive chairman, Wupert Mudwock, was unavailable for comment on this latest News Corp snafu.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

The Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

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