FS Hague: 'Work Harder' Hypocrisy

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Born loser and ‘in-denial’ closet case poofter Willy ‘Israel First’ Vague, the man proved to be ‘Not up to the Job' of Tory Party opposition leader after four years of being as much use as tits on a bull from 1997 to 2001, again seems to have learned nothing from past mistakes and failed to engage brain before opening mouth, displaying a stellar piece of brazen hubris for the public record, stating that Broken Britain’s company bosses need to stop whingeing and complaining about the pathetic state of the national economy and ‘work harder’ – just like he and PM Posh Dave Scameron do – which initiated a chorus of hoots and boos from Ed Millipede and the New Labour opposition benches.

Speaking outside the House of Conmans to a press hack from the Buck-Passers Gazette, the pro-Zionist stooge of a Foreign Secretary repeated his Common Purpose-indoctrinated NLP mantra of "There's only one growth strategy: work harder and do more with less – just the same as Robinson Crusoe did on Gilligan’s Island."

To wit, the imbecilic Vague claims the UK needs to re-orientate itself when it comes to exports aimed at the markets of the expanding graft and corruption-ridden economies of India, China, Thailand and Indonesia – wholly missing the hypocrisy that it was his idol Maggie Twatcher and skewed Tory policies that came up with ‘outsourcing’ our life’s blood commerce to these Third World shitholes and the implementing of the ‘de-industrialisation’ nightmare that caused Britain to become the immigrant-infested cheap labour EUSSR community member - and irreparable ‘total basket case’ it is today.

Vague's moronic comments followed a session in Parliament’s ‘Strangler’s Bar’, quaffing pints of his local Rotherham ‘Old Cormorant Pale Ale’ and ‘Topless Titty’ beer with a gaggle of inebriated Libservative Coalition cabinet ministers, conjuring up dodgy schemes designed to boost the contents of Chancellor Osborne’s piggy bank – such as flogging off every last bit of our once-sceptred isle heritage – including the National Trust lands, forests and properties - to capricious private foreign ‘Profit over All’ interests who worship at the altar of Mammon, the heathen God of Greed, and asset strip at will.

Conversely, harsh criticism from opposition politicians besides, the majority of the UK’s business leaders have ponderous reservations, with Ron McScrote, the director of Broken Britain’s Chamber of Commerce, informing the media “Bollocks to Vague’s waffle about growth strategy ‘work ethics’ - he wouldn’t know what ‘work’ or ‘ethics’ were if you hit him round his stupid head with a bunch of them.”

“Same as that lardy-arsed git of a Communities Secretary, Eric ‘I Beat Bulimia’ Pickles getting his face on the goggle box and promoting the same ‘work harder’ propaganda when the ‘Blob’ still thinks ‘Manual Labour’s a sodding Spaniard.”

“Vague’s a tosser’s that not even up to the job of Foreign Secretary – unless being a pro-Zionist Israel stooge who’s so far up Baron Rothshite’s arse you can only see his feet sticking out qualifies him - never mind pontificating on economic policy and claiming it’s undergoing a period of ‘rebalancing’ - with the private sector jobs going to EUSSR immigrants who are prepared to work long hours for next to fuck all, while public sector personnel are being retrenched to that human resource landfill site – the Jobcentre.”

“Rebalancing indeed – our total economy’s on the edge of a fiscal precipice, rocking back and forth – and due to tip up and vanish into the fucking abyss – all thanks to this cursed EUSSR community membership – and Tony Bliar and Cabbage Patch Dave Scameron getting us involved up to the nuts in illegal foreign wars and neo-colonial misadventures with the stupid Yanks.”

“Let’s be honest here, Vague’s a total tosspot telling us that these draconian changes to welfare payments, such as the universal credit and a benefit cap, will be viewed with 20/20 hindsight a few years down the road as being as important to Britain as the devastating trade union reforms and privatisations of the 1980’s under that stupid old slag Maggie Twatcher.”

“Vague and his dog wanker of a mate Scameron need to lose the Big Society volunteers delusion and concentrate their efforts on the task of re-industrialising the country and creating more permanent jobs for our legions of unemployed skilled engineers and develop export markets for other products besides BAE Systems weapons supplies to fascist Arab regimes in the Middle East - and stop blaming us for their incompetence and failures."
"Never mind giving us this ‘get on the jet and go and sell things overseas’ crap – better we all get on the jet and emigrate. Vague needs to ‘sling his hook’ as they’ve had the blood an’ the sweat – all they need now is the tears to go with them.”

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

The Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.