MP Calls for Nutting of Lager Louts

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Kerry ‘Two Beds’ McCarthy, the New Labour MP for Bristol East (the land of twitching curtains and slanderous fishwife gossip) since 2005, posted a stream of comments on the micro-blogging website Twitter on Friday afternoon branding a fellow train passenger a ‘lager drinking yobster’ and made the most politically-incorrect neo-Nazi ethnic cleansing suggestion that the target of her personal ‘holier-than-thou’ ire should “have been euthanized before he could breed any more mini-yobster Asbo offspring”.

The ginger-mingin McCarthy, herself of mongrel Irish stock and lacking any trace of thoroughbred Lipizanner DNA, tweeted a venomous diatribe to her 13,000 brain-dead ‘get a life’ cyber followers – stating for the public record the scrote in question had offended her fragile sensibilities by playing techno music out loud and wearing a T-shirt with an obscene message on it - specifically "I Fucked Yer Girlfriend up the Arse" - and went on to promote a campaign of socio-ethnic cleansing against those she considers have been swimming too long at the shallow end of the gene pool with: “Should have killed him when we had the chance - before he could breed any more scally sprogs”.

Hmmm, under McCarthy’s Planet Vegan ‘Dystopian’ rule any fucker and their dog who doesn’t come up to ‘her’ standards of ‘polite society acceptability’ is going to get it in the neck – and hopefully she’ll start with Bono – and that pair of tosspots Jedward.

Really, has this ranga skanger - she of the Desperate Dan chin - ever looked in a mirror at her own ‘warts and all’ reflection? Too, what a reflection on the bottom feeding losers who stoop to reading the scatological litanies she espouses, all conjured up by her deficient room temperature equivalent IQ.

While McCarthy’s tweets don’t reveal where the encounter actually took place – if at all – (or a fiction acted out in the dark recesses of her disturbed, sociopath’s mind) – it was obviously on board one of Broken Britain’s Rattle Track passenger rail services as she wrote: "Some yob tosser on train drinking Bitch Thumper lager and playing techno music out loud. Everyone being very British about it and not complaining - apart from craven little moi with this silent but deadly Twitter post."

In 2009 the serial Twitter addict McCarthy was appointed by PM Gordon ‘Incapability’ Broon as New Labour's new media campaign co-ordinator - or social media tsar - after being named as the most prolific tweeting MP in the House of Conmans ‘Time Wasters Review’.

Since becoming Shadow Foreign Minister for Human Rights., McCarthy has taken to posting several thousand tweets per week against the ongoing persecution of rug-muching dykes, fudging shirt lifters and cross-dressing poofters in Uganda – quite some distance from her home turf electoral seat constituency in Bristol and a factoring cause of rumours that McCarthy is a closet case transvestite lesbian herself.

However, this isn’t the first occasion that McCarthy, New Labour’s shit-for-brains embarrassment of an MP, has made a major ‘blonde moment’ faux pas of career-threatening proportions. In the run-up to the 2010 general election she was forced to apologise and received a police caution following allegations of electoral fraud under the Representation of the People Act 1983 after she tweeted the details of a sample of postal votes on her favourite social networking website – later claiming she – a sitting MP – was unaware it is illegal to reveal the votes cast before the end of polling day as it may influence the outcome of the election.

Thought for the day. Really, out of the UK’s adult population of actual millions – excluding the Third World political refugees and swan-roasting economic immigrants who can only understand a ballot slip if it’s written in Cyrillic and are here with a mission to steal any and all British minimum wage jobs going, plus scrounge what they can on welfare benefits - is this the best the New Labour Party can do for a ‘Media Tsar’?

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

The Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.